I know it’s a bit late in the year, but I’m spring cleaning.
Over the years I’ve been added to mailing lists and e-mail subscriptions based on my plans to be a mother. Even though I’ve moved on to a new chapter in my life, every now and then a reminder from my past pops up to haunt me.
It’s been a while since I’ve received free samples of diapers and formula in the mail, but I still get plenty of postcards for children’s portrait photographers, baby fairs, and parenting classes.
I’ll be unsubscribing myself from the e-mail lists of Babies R Us, Adoptive Families, and my former acupuncturist. It’s not that these reminders send me into any kind of emotional turmoil; I just don’t have a use for their products and they’re cluttering up my Inbox. So it’s time to say “Goodbye.”
Have you done a spring cleaning on your past? Or are you still not ready?
The worst for me is Facebook ads. I’ve linked a few articles about infertility, so now there are frequent ads for “curing infertility without drugs!” I always mark it, as well as anything else baby-related, as offensive, so eventually (I hope) it will stop showing up.
I emailed Yahoo once and told them that I was infertile and if I ever saw another ad for Plan B (emergency birth control pills) above my inbox, I was going to switch to gmail. (Don’t ask me why Plan B hit my infertility nerve, but it did.) I don’t know if it was a coincidence, but I never saw the ad again.
After suffering a third miscarriage last week, my husband and I decided to get off of the emotional rollercoaster and made the difficult decision to live a child free life. We’re staring a goal board with all of the wonderful things our childfree life will bring. I am definitely ready to spring clean my past! The day I got the news I was going to miscarry again I was greeted by an unsolicited American Baby magazine in the mail. “THANKS FOR THE FREE SUBSCRIPTION!!!” I shouted to the universe. We had been randomly receiving Similac samples and other baby related items and coupons in the mail in the past but that was the last straw. My husband managed to track down the mailing list we were somehow placed on and I’m hoping the painful reminders stop showing up for good. I have unsubscribed to all baby/family related email newsletters as well. So far they haven’t stopped but I’m hoping they do soon. As far as those Facebook ads – I mark them offensive as well. Or if i’m in a really bad mood, I choose “other” and type in “I just had a miscarriage, stop showing me this crap!” I’ll be removing all fertility monitoring items, prenatal vitamins, and IVF clinic pamphlets and paperwork from my house this weekend…or maybe I’ll just do it tonight. 🙂
Oh Susan, I am so sorry. And so great to get the free subscription on top of it!! But it sounds like you and your husband are taking positive steps to keep moving forward. I love the idea of the goals board. Hang in there.
I have a UCLA baby outfit that I’ve kept for probably 10 years. I’ve been keeping it instead of giving it away to friends. I’m not quite ready to give it away yet. But probably soon.
Or maybe you just need to keep it. I’ve been talking to my husband lately about all we’ve been through and how it’s changed us for the better and the worse. The fact is, that chapter of our lives happened to us, and while we need to keep moving forward, we’re not going to forget it. And maybe we shouldn’t. Just like we hang on to momentos of people we loved who are gone, I think that hanging ontop a momento of what might have been is ok too.
I’ve done some housecleaning. I donated a big pile of my pregnancy & infertility books to my pregnancy loss support group awhile back, & tossed big files of articles I’d been saving on pregnancy, child care & infertility treatment strategies. Tossed all my BBT charts, but I did hang on to my treatment journals, for now, anyway.
I do have my mementos, too. I have so few of them from my one & only pregnancy — my maternity clothes, for example. They are still hanging in the spare bedroom closet. Can’t part with them, not yet, maybe not ever.