By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
I’ve been diving for treasure! Which means I finally pulled out the boxes from under my desk and started going through the articles, photographs, scribbles, and other items set aside for “some day” projects. Much of it is going straight into the circular file, but here and there I’ve found something worth keeping.
This is how I rediscovered a treasure called The Complete Book of Aunts, a little book by Rupert Christiansen with Beth Brophy that celebrates brand name aunts (Jemima), X-rated (Gigi’s Alicia), those who helped raise their siblings’ children (when Coco Chanel was orphaned at age 6, her aunts took her in and taught her how to sew), and many others real and imagined (Spider-Man’s Aunt Rosemary).
In addition to historical factoids (“auntie” meant “prostitute” in pre-18th century India), there are tips for good auntie-ing and delightful quotes, such as this gem from Mrs. Miniver by Jan Struther:
(Aunt Hetty) “What on earth d’you think I’m here for, I should like to know?”
To be a pattern and example to all aunts, thought Mrs. Miniver; to be a delight to boys and a comfort to their parents; to show that at least one daughter in every generation ought to remain unmarried [and to] raise the profession of auntship to a fine art.
I’m not keen on the “ought to remain unmarried” part, but “raise the profession of auntship to a fine art”—doncha love that?!
Many of us have the pleasure of being aunties, and because we aren’t responsible for little darlings of our own, we’re free to lavish our attentions on our nieces and nephews. I must be doing a decent job because the inscription on the title page, signed by a beloved sister-in-law, reads “Behind every niece or nephew is a ‘great aunt.’” It is nice to know my efforts are appreciated, although I freely admit that I nurture these special relationships because they make my heart sing.
Whether you’re called auntie, tante, tia, shagazi, or an honorary term of your own making, I hope you are finding joy in practicing this fine art too.
Kathleen Guthrie Woods is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She is wrapping up her memoir about being a temporary single mommy and how it helped her come to terms with being childfree.
Yes, I’m newly introduced to aunthood, when my nephew was born last year… at this time, long distance. I love my sister-in-law, she knows my situation, and so she checks with me before sending photos, and is very open to me sending geeky stuff (good thing she likes Star Wars too!) for the nephew to grow into (I recently sent a R2D2 shirt and hat for halloween).
Wonderful post!!
🙂
I always tell my niece, now a lovely 20 year old woman, that she is my prozac… one hug and I’m good for a few weeks.
oh I love that ! I have 3 nieces one 11 , one 3 and one 14 months. They ar
oh I love that ! I have 3 nieces one 11 , one 3 and one 14 months. They are each my prozac for different reasons. I also have 2 nephews I really enjoy being an aunt
I wish I had more. I have a nephew, who I also adore. And then two other nephews via my husband’s side, who I love very much. They are overseas, though, so I don’t get to spend much time with them. They are all grown. My 20 year old niece is the youngest. Cherish all the moments you can now that they are little so that you build a really strong relationship with them later.
I love that line – they are your prozac, one hug and your set!!
I’m an auntie to 7 nephews and 3 nieces, ranging from 3 to 29 years old. I love them so much. Some I am more close to than others because they lived close by to me while growing up, but I am so grateful to have them all in my life.
I am now a great aunt to a 17 month old with another on the way. He is a delight and I babysit him once a week. I am so grateful to be able to form this early bond with him and I will treasure our relationship forever.
I am also grateful for the even closer bond that is developing between myself and his mother ( my niece). Her child is bringing us closer together and that is a an absolute joy.
I might not be able to have children myself, but I get a little taste of them every week. Often it is difficult at the moment, mostly I am grateful. The bond you create when they are young is the best!
My sister is childfree by choice; however, dh’s brother has two boys, now 21 & almost 25. They have grown up to be wonderful young men, and have been such joys to me & dh. I like to think I’ve been a pretty good aunt to them. But had I known sooner that we weren’t going to have our own children, I would have made more of an effort than I did.