Thanks to Kath for this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic. It’s a good one.
Parenting is the hardest job in the world!
And, go!
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I guess in some ways you can say that, as it is 24/7, unrelenting! But at the same time, there are joys. I would have signed on in a heartbeat! I think that the reality is that everyone’s lot in life, including their job, can be difficult at times. And I do think that there are people whose lives are more tragic and difficult than being a parent.
Ugh. Yes
Sometimes i wonder if some parents looked into whatit would be like when they were thinking about having kids.
And then they get angry at a 3 year old for having a tantrum. Um he’s 3. And your the one raising him so you really should blame yourself.
Yeah this is frustrating. We all have good days and bad days. The hardest part is when they complain to you about how hard it is, as if we are lucky we don’t have kids. Life it hard period.
Very frustrating. I have friends who do this constantly and they know our situation.
So often I just want to say to them … “Suck it up! Yes it may be tough but you get the sweetest rewards on this earth – so stop complaining to someone who would trade spots with you in a heartbeat.”
Rant over..
…and everyone else is expected to respond with “Oh, I’m so sorry. It is the hardest job ever. But you’re doing a great job.” Like they’re passive-agressively asking for a compliment. So many more appropriate responses come to my mind, but if I said them out loud (I like “Suck it up!” too, Kelly), I would be the rude one. So I bite my tongue. UGH!
I agree Kathleen.
It’s like they expect you to console them and tell them what a good parent they are.
My friend is a prime example of this.
My tongue gets awful sore sometimes but I just CAN’T be that mean childless woman!
I don’t see it as a “job” period. It is a duty, a responsibility, once you have brought someone into this world, to take care of them and raise them to be the best they can be. But, I think we have a responsibility to each other, to our friends, our other family members, our neighbors, to be there for them if they need our help. Even if considered a “job”, it is hard to imagine it as the hardest. It usually comes with loads of benefits, rewards, enjoyment, life-satisfaction and fulfillment. Unless, your role is more that of a caregiver because you have a child who is seriously ill or disabled. My heart goes out to those parents. Or to single parents struggling to get by, to parents who are struggling to care for children under conditions of extreme poverty or war. That is hard… when I hear it coming from many others, the word narcissist, pops very easily to mind.
This is what I think when I hear this “dumb” comment from parents. Really, the hardest job in the world? What about fireman? What about ER nurses? What about window washers for high rise buildings? What about the Dr.’s that have to tell a woman and a man that “I’m sorry, there is no baby, and there never will be”… How about all of them?!
So until you have done every job in the world, how about NOT complaining about being a parent, be happy and know that life itself can be the hardest job in the world!!
Well said Heather – quite agree, I’ve been finding it a hard job coming into work for the past 18 months (since we stopped pursuing IVF, on and off over a 17 year period and last month I started getting hot flushes!) seeing colleague after colleague go on maternity, return, moan, go off and have another, come back and moan further. I’m thinking more and more that I want to grab my life and get as much joy out of it as possible. I’m learning to tune out conversations from parents/grand parents (all colleagues who sit a metre away from me) and balance it with getting stuck into my work and planning my next treat. Not easy – I spent many weeks and months prior to this disappearing to the loo for a cry. I don’t run for a cry any more…. wow getting there.
Parenting is not the hardest job in the world. I have been a trial attorney that worked 14 hours a day 7 days a week. That was hard. When I had the opportunity to watch my sisters children, I thought, by comparison to what I normally do, it was easy. It is easy. What is hard is accepting the fact that you are not going to get the life you want and finding joy in the life you are given. Feel free to use that as a response any time you need to.
Thanks Maria – I like your response. I recall; going back years; and watching a friend who used to do child-minding. I can honestly say it looked fairly easy – and at times actually quite boring! What is hard is seeing your father diminish to a child like state due to Alzheimer’s – its one thing changing a crying baby and quite another trying to manhandle and change a grown man who cannot understand what is going on or follow an instruction of any sort. Parenting is not as hard as its portrayed – unless of course there are the difficulties (which I cannot comprehend fully) with those that have special needs or medical problems to contend with and my heart goes out to those parents. Those who do not put out the boundaries or are lazy – (who usually complain!) I’ve no sympathy and very much less envy these days …. progress I think. I will be sad to my dying day that my choices were take away and I didn’t get the baby or child I always dreamed of but I don’t feel bad now when parents moan – I feel sorry for them to be missing completely the joy of this relatively short lived wonderful time with their children.
Thank you all for reminding me of this. My husband and I tried for a very long time to have a baby… it never happened. We went the adoption route, and have a two-year old son. Just last night my hormones were really messed up (my body produces no hormones, so if I miss my supplement, it’s pretty bad), and I told myself “You wanted to be a parent, f*cking appreciate it.” So, I’m sorry. I really am… I’m not rubbing it in, I’m just grateful for the reminder.
Oh yes. Just a few days ago, dh & I were dealing with a salesperson who asked us how old our kids were. Dh said we didn’t have kids. “You are so LUCKY!!” she squealed. “I have three teenagers and they are driving me CRAZY!” Ummm, thanks for that. :p
I am so pleased my elder sister is of the “suck it up” variety, even though she had it tough for several years as a single mother. My younger sister has different challenges with her daughter, and whilst she talks about those, she doesn’t do it in a self-pitying way. It makes me so much more compassionate to them both than if they moaned about “the hardest job in the world.”
I’m with all of you on this. I am so tired of having this phrase and similar others shoved in my face all the time of social media. Parenting is HARD…no one is denying that but ALL walks of life are hard, including many careers (firefighters, doctors, nurses, police officers, military, etc. etc.) and those dealing with illness and disability and stress and if you think these people go home at night and turn off the stress from the day – you’re fooling yourselves. It’s as 24/7 as parenting is. Parenting is just different…that’s all. I always find it interesting though – parenting is one of the most natural things, and all species do it, yet ours is the only one that complains so desperately about it. I mean, it’s not like a dog can complain about raising puppies – but you don’t see animals being eaten away by stress while raising their young and yet plenty of people are. Interesting …. as always, thanks for the opportunity to vent a bit!!
Yes I hate hearing this from people, yes it’s tough, but so are many other things. While on the topic of parenting, so upset over my favorite show now hitting the parenting band wagon with a pregnancy. The entire episode was all about pregnancy and her complaining no sushi, no hot tub and no drinking.
I am in the process of putting together a presentation that goes over long term care issues and how they have an impact on employers. I came across an article that stated that even parents thought that taking care of your parents is more difficult than taking care of a toddler. It was refreshing to see that some people have a dose of reality.
Bill Burr has a great rant on this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoJrMaFlxOk
And yet I never have heard this sentiment from parents of children with special needs. I’ve watched parents of children with special needs that are close friends and family, and I actually think that even though there are joys, they have it much much harder than I ever will not being able to have children. Yet, these are the parents who brought to their breaking point never shove it in others faces looking for recognition. It always seems to be the parent of a perfectly healthy child who has a whole lot of outside support helping to raise that child.