Facebook has been the topic of many Whiny Wednesday rants, and rightly so. Social media in general has perpetuated a myth of happiness that can make any kind of pain feel worse. So this week, our topic is this:
“The Illusion of Other People’s Perfect Lives”
Let us know how you feel.
For me, this was harder when people’s kids were smaller- up until about, oh, 2nd or 3rd grade. At that point, I noticed a subtle shift in posting habits of some parents which in part I believe was due to the fact that the kids were starting to become more autonomous but also they were entering the gawky phase that kids go through. They did not look as little and cute. When social media is used primarily as a tool to show how fab your life is compared to that for the rest of us in the great unwashed masses, having a kid with three missing teeth and makes it clear he would rather elsewhere does not fit the image.
I recall a conversation with one friend whose daughter was at that age. I had not seen them in awhile and I asked her how her daughter was doing and that was the first time I had ever seen a display of what I would call annoyance – the girl had been acting up recently and been a general pain in the butt. She was becoming a person, so to speak. At the time it was extremely refreshing because up until that point, it was a lot of gushing. Not that I begrudge the pride this couple had in their daughter – it is what I wanted. But it was a nice little reality check that things were not as perfect as they seemed to be.
It is very easy for me to look at all the family photos on Facebook and feel a failure and think that these women have better lives than me. In some ways they do, they have a child/children, but these photos are not the whole picture, I need to remember that. I need to continue to grieve my loss and also build the best life that I can.
People never air their dirty laundry online! But it would make them a whole lot more interesting if they did! I got sick of the whole sham so I actually quit social media.
I saw so many online personas of the All American Family going to ball games, vacations, babies (of course) etc. but in reality I knew a lot of them were dealing with depression, drug abuse, bitter divorces, you name it. So if going on line and telling the world how everything is just peaches and cream makes them feel better, I say let them have it. It’s just not for me.