Several years ago I wrote this article for the online magazine Divine Caroline. As proof that whatever you put out there on the internet never really goes away, I just got a notification that the article has cycled its way back to the top of the featured articles list.
For a writer, this is great news, but for me, the personal me, not so much. It’s a harsh reminder of a chapter of my life I’ve tried to close the door on (and done a pretty good job of, thank you very much.) Looking back now, my words seems so naive. I have to ask myself: Would I give the same advice to a hopeful mother-to-be now?
You know what? I think I would. Despite my own experience, I don’t want to be the voice of doom and gloom. Ever. “Bitter” and “childless” so often get strung together in descriptions, and that person is not me. So, I hope that maybe this article will still bring comfort to a hopeful woman, and maybe she’ll get lucky. And if not, I hope she finds support and acceptance, as I have.
Oh, that is a very touching piece. And no, naive is not the word I would choose. I think a lot of us here have walked that path on the way to where we are now. I know I have done my time wandering sadly and hopefully through the baby things store. Your article makes me ache for my younger self. And, the fact that article is still out there may point some women here to your current blog – which is no doubt the place some of them are looking for and have not yet found in the sea of “must get pregnant” infertility websites. Hugs. I like the article.
Thanks so much for your kind words, happynenes. I love your line about aching for your younger self. It’s a shame we can’t somehow live life backwards so we come ready-armed with the perspective we need to survive life with our sanity intact. On the other hand, it’s interesting to be able to look back and see how far we’ve come sometimes.
Yes, I was thinking the same thing as I was thinking about your article last night. About how amazing it is to look back and see how far one has come, and how perspectives can change even when they seem so fixed.
I think Valentino is a great name for a boy, BTW. I always thought if I had a girl I would name her Delilah Love… Or maybe Megan Love after my sister-in-law. Elias for a boy. Well, thankfully these dreams are not as painful as they used to be.