I’ve been back from my vacation for two days and already my head feels as if it’s about to explode.
Why do I keep saying “yes” when I really mean “no”? Why do I create a weekly task list and put enough tasks on it to last a month? And why, why, why am I not working on my new book project, when I know that’s what will really make me happy?
If you have answers to any or all of these questions, feel free to post below. If not, feel free to vent your own frustrations. It is Whiny Wednesday, after all.
P.S. My vacation was wonderful, blissful, and peaceful. I miss it already.
Glad you had fun, Lisa
Wait, darn it I didn’t mean to hit “post” so soon. I need to whine. I found myself on People magazine website this morning for the first time in years and the first thing I see is a story about Lisa Loeb telling her child she’s going to be a big sister. Gag. For some reason Lisa Loeb being a mom is particularly upsetting because celebrity women in their forties getting pregnant remind me that women many years older than I am can have kids. Oh well, that’s what I get for reading about celebrity babies. What was I thinking. And honestly now that I’ve written this, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Thanks for providing a place to publicly whine.
Try this: instead of writing a list of “what to do” first thing in the morning write a list of what you have accomplished right before you go to bed. Do that for several days. It is difficult at first but then it gets easier. I started doing this when my to do list became long and impossible and I was berating myself for not accomplishing all the tasks I had set out for myself. I still write up ‘to do’ lists but now have a better perspective of all that I can do and that I can accomplish.
My whine today is that my back and right shoulder are killing me. I’ve been running 4 miles a couple times a week with my 26 year old nephew to help him lose weight (he’s lost 50 pounds, has another 50 to go). I’m really glad for the time we get to spend together and that I can help support him through this. But I am starting to feel every day of my 46 years after those runs. FYI, I was a runner all through my teens, 20s and 30s, and ran a few marathons. I had to cut back to a 2 mile run twice a week because of arthritis. I hate to quit on my nephew. So Icy/Hot and Alleve are now my best friends. Thanks for listening!
My Franklin Covey class a thousand years ago says, if you schedule too much to fit into one day, you should aim to schedule for only half a day.
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PS Watch my lips carefully: “NO”. Try it again. “NO”.
Also acceptable: “No, I am sorry, I just cant.”
XOXOXO
Oh, I just got a new whine! And it’s related to yesterday’s FB discussion. My brother posted a pic of his 18 month old daughter yesterday caught while she was running, smiling and screaming all at the same time. His wife getting accidentally pregnant at 41 was paindful enough but I am managing. I wrote under the picture that she looked like she was saying a word my brother used to say all the time as a child – the word is entirely innocent. Either my brother or his wife removed my post! I was hurt and confused about what I did wrong. Then I took the advice I posted yesterday and blocked their newsfeed so I won’t see their posts or pics anymore.
I am having cramps that Advil can’t seem to touch (this is soooooo friggin’ unfair!), so I feel like hell, but have to keep working. And I’m crying over everything and I’m oversensitive (I balled like a child over a silly YouTube video yesterday). But my whine is about how heartbroken I am for a close friend who just endured another failed IVF. I’ve lost track of how many procedures she’s had, and every time I am hopeful for her. She would be the best mother ever, she wants this so much, and I want it for her. Life is so unfair.
Um, wow – if you find an answer to that last question, please let me know. My book proposal is supposed to be priority number one as well, but I seem to find a way to do absolutely everything (uhh, such as commenting on other people’s blogs) OTHER than work on the book. I may need to lock myself in a closet with my laptop soon and disable the internet.
Yeap…. I wish I could find a place where I can take my laptop and plug it in and not be able to go online. I have to convert my dissertation into a book, and I have yet to get around to it!! UGH!!
I too write out a ridiculously large to do list on a daily basis. Personally, I think I do this to make up for not being a mother. I feel like I have to stay busy in order to prove myself worthy of something else. Fortunately, I’ve recognized this downfall of mine and I’m working very hard on it. I’ve practiced saying no a few times, although I end up saying yes to others to make up for the no’s now. I’ve hung a calendar in my hallway and I think I’m going to mark out “me” days. I’ll just put X’s in those days so maybe, just maybe, I’ll know that they are off limits to anything else. I’ll let you know if it’s successful 😉
You poor thing…I have been chased down by tyrannical to-do lists! My biggest trick is…when I say no, I don’t say why. I just say, “I would LOVE to, but unfortunately I can’t this time”. Or, “I’m sorry but I already have plans”. It’s no one’s business what those plans are. Today, those plans are watching trash tv in my pj’s. Other days, it’s leaving space in my diary to have a good cry. It took me along time to be ok with looking after myself and pursuing things I love – but you know what? People have coped ok without me. And on the odd occasion that they make saying no hard, I have accepted that its about them, not me. After all, if they respected me they would respect my no. Hoping that you find confidence and peace this week to say no to a few things…so you can say YES to something better:)