Stocking up on some Christmas cheer last week, I was asked to show I.D. for my purchases. Never one to begrudge being carded, I pulled out my driver’s license and showed it to the young assistant.
She gave it a quick look, did some math, and said, “Wow, you look good for 42.”
Even as my ego puffed up faster than an inflatable Santa lawn ornament, a quip sprung to my lips.
“That’s because I don’t have kids,” I almost said.
It’s true I only have a few errant gray hairs and my worry lines are small and faint, and it’s also true that friends my age who do have kids generally have a lot more gray than me under their highlights.
So, I wonder, is it genes that have kept the gray away, or was the young woman just a bad judge of age, or could looking younger be a perk of not having kids? What do you think?
Hiya! We’re the same age! I don’t have wrinkles. I do have some silver hair, and no I’m not hiding ’em. Folks still couldn’t believe that I’m in my 40’s, insisting that I’m in my early 30’s (an ego inflater there!) I suspect in my case, it’s my genes- on dad’s side, we have relatives that look decades younger than their age (i.e my uncle Tim he looks like he’s in his late 40’s, never mind that he is in his 70’s!) But not having kids might contribute to less stress and worries to deal with, which leads to appearing and feeling younger, IMO.
And to add a quirk- my name is Julie, which is youthful in Latin. 😉
dear Lisa,
your post made me smile.
Yes, I agree with you.
I also think that I look much younger then vast majority of women my age with kids.
I have always looked a lot younger than my age. When I graduated law school at 27, someone heard me talking about it and thought I was talking about graduating from high school. I’m 46 now and when I tell people I will be 50 soon they look like they are going to fall on the floor. In a way it’s a bad thing because when people hear I don’t have children, they tell me, “your young, you have plenty of time!” Lately I have been responding, “no, I’m really not, I just look fabulous for my age” and we both end up laughing. I have been getting gray hair lately and I decided not to color so that people would stop telling me how much time I have for children. I don’t think my looking young has anything to do with not having children. The women on my mother’s side all look fabulous. My cousin just turned 50 and looks 25 but has 3 children. My aunt is in her 80s, had 6 children, and looks like she’s in her 50s. My sisters had 3 children and do look their age, I was just lucky to get the young genes in my family.
Luck. Genes. It is 95% genes. I started going grey in my late 20s, my dad too. But we both have babysoft skin. My mother-in-law is 89 and looks 69. Genes.
Lack of sun exposure too probably. I have friends who were always tanning in their 20s and 30s, and now in their early 40s their faces really show it. Smoking/not smoking too has a big effect on wrinkles. My younger sister who has smoked and been very outdorsy looks older than me these days.
Going through pregnancy loss and infertility was a horrible period, and my husband noticeably greyed during that period.
But not having kids also means we might have more time (and money) to look after ourselves. If I had kids I might have gone grey. But I resolutely zap those little b—ers as soon as grey roots show!
A bit of both, I think… I just turned 52 (eek) & while I don’t think anybody would mistake me for a college student anymore, I don’t think I look my age. I do try to take care of myself… I do have some fine lines & age spots (there wasn’t much in the way of good facial moisturizer with SPF when I was in my teens and 20s) but my skin is still in pretty good shape. And yes, I do cover the grey hairs. ; )
On the one hand, kids certainly do have an aging effect ; ) — but on the other hand, as Mali notes, infertility & loss can certainly age you pretty quick. 🙁 But on balance, I think I still look pretty good for my age. ; )