It’s Valentine’s Week (because no commercially-driven holiday ever lasts for just a day anymore) and my inner Cranky Old Lady and I are having words again. As you can probably tell just from my opening sentence, she is already getting the better of me.
My Cranky Old Lady doesn’t like Valentine’s Day. It’s too commercialized, too many expectations on people to impress and throw around good money on overpriced roses and dinners. It snubs people who don’t have a special Valentine in their lives, and it points a rude finger at their singledom. What’s more, it’s yet another holiday, originally intended for adult lovers, that’s been hijacked by kids and their cute “I love you Mommy” Valentine’s cards. Nope, my inner Cranky Old Lady abhors Valentine’s Day.
But I kinda like it. Oh, yes, it’s all those things my Cranky Old Lady says it is, but I don’t want to hate it. My Cranky Old Lady has taken over too many holidays from me over the past years and I’m ready to take them back.
In her defense, I know she did me a favor by keeping me away from the Hallmark holidays and protecting my tender interior. She talked me out of Halloween, Christmas, even July 4th, to keep me from the hurt I was feeling about not having children for those holidays. She did the right thing by me, and I appreciate that, but I’m ready to come out and play again.
Part of the silver lining of not having children is that I’m not bound to anyone else’s expectations of how holidays should be celebrated. If I want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I can. If I don’t want to, I don’t have to. And this year I choose to lock up my Cranky Old Lady and embrace the silliness and blatant commercialism of the day. Who knows, I might even break my Crank Old Lady rule and wear something red!
Do you have an inner Cranky Old Lady? When do you let her out and when do you put up a fight?
I kind of have one, but she only comes out on Valentine’s Day 😉 I just got tired of the pink, red, white and heart overload everywhere I look… so instead of doing the typical romantic stuff, hubby and I order nice food for takeout, and watch a scary movie together 🙂 Twisted, yes; but it makes the holiday much more interesting and fun!
I was lucky that during my darkest months, there weren’t any “big” holidays to celebrate; so my Cranky Old Lady didn’t come out swinging… too often.
My cranky old lady comes out whenever my husband and i are out to eat in a restaurant and we encounter tables with children who are acting out and their parents are completely ignoring them. I don’t understand how anyone can sit in a restaurant and let their kids scream at the top of their lungs and do nothing. Once and to teach the parents a lesson, I started talking as loudly as I could and every other word was a curse word. I never curse and I felt ridiculous doing it but I wanted them to feel as uncomfortable as they were making me feel. It goes above and beyond cranky but it will get parents to pack up their kids and leave lighting fast if you ever want to try it.
I think Valentine’s Day has become another “Oh! You need to spend money on this!” day. My husband believes that intensely, hates the day, and won’t have anything to do with it.
I admit, not receiving something – candy, flowers, whatever – does crush my childhood dream of receiving such things. I totally understand why my hubby dislikes it so, and my friends without husbands would gladly be in my place. And i’ve heard of plenty of husbands who shower gifts on their wives to make up for their failures, indiscretions, and other short comings.
It still crushes a dream a little bit when he is so derisive of the day. As we grow and change, so should our dreams and desires. I guess i’m still a bit slow on letting this one go.
My husband comes from a particular family culture that is not into celebrating holidays… I get gifts throughout the year, just not on any specific day. In a way, this being outside the norm has helped me. I don’t feel so invested in holidays, so their significance is not so big for me that I feel disappointed if I am not going all out on the celebrations.
My birthday is today and it is also the province’s first ever “family day” holiday. I am still pretty tender so I couldn’t celebrate my 40th today. BUT next year, I am going to celebrate the family I have vs mourning the one I don’t.
In the meantime, I am having a birthdya do-over in April when the weather is better and I feel more enthusiastic.
I didn’t want to celebrate my 40th either. It was a tough year for me because I felt it was the year I officially knew having children would never happen for me. You are right to celebrate when you are ready. Here’s wishing you good thoughts on your birthday.
My friends celebrated my 40th for me… I walked into a room with black baloons!! 🙂 It was kind of funny!!
When we were first married, my husband hated Valentine’s Day too. I had to convert him. I am happy to receive a dozen grocery store roses which I put in a beautiful vase. Then we cook a nice dinner–usually with a good bottle of wine, even on a weeknight! Simple, but fun. He looks forward to it now. You need to come up with new rituals for holidays if the traditional “family” ones do not apply. Redefine them for yourself!