I love to receive pitches from guest bloggers, especially from regular LWB readers. I think there’s great value in sharing our stories and points-of-view on a topic that doesn’t get much “air time.”
I’ve included Writer’s Guideline” on the site, so that writers who aren’t familiar with the blog can understand what we’re all about here and offer up something appropriate.
So it drives me potty when I receive pitches like “8 foods to feed your child’s brain” and “Me time for busy moms.”
As a writer, I used to get annoyed when editors wouldn’t respond to my submissions. Now I realize that their inboxes are probably so full of inquiries from people sending out random and completely inappropriate pitches that they just delete the lot.
Anyway, it’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s bugging you today?
This article ended up on my Facebook home page today, just in time for Whiny Wednesday. It’s an article addressing the question of why stay-at-home moms don’t have any time for their friends, or anything else for that matter (“What do they do all day?”)… The question was posed by someone who is child-free, and asks a legitimate question. The columnist who responded (Carolyn Hax) sounded rude and a bit indignant. Her last sentence was the clincher. Defensive much Ms. Hax? Here’s the article:
http://www.danoah.com/the-overly-neglected-friend-without-kids
My niece is a stay-at-home mom of four little ones under the age of six. Her posts on Facebook all go something like: “Nap time with the kiddos”, “Playdough project with the boys!”, “Pool time with my girls!”, “Play date with neighbors.” … etc. I mean, I know she’s busy, but it does sound like kind of a nice life, doesn’t it? She can do what she wants with the kids when she wants. And when she can’t because they’re napping, she naps too! What would I give for a nap at 2:00 in the afternoon!!?
My best friend is a stay-at-home mom of two girls. And both girls are now in kindergarten part-time. She has more time than ever to have lunch with her other stay-at-home mom friends, go the gym mid-day (when there are NO crowds), grocery shop mid-day (again, NO crowds), pay bills, clean, do laundry, pursue her creative interests and look all fresh and gorgeous for when her husband comes home from work at 5:00. Nice life! I guess it just bugs me when they complain how hard it is for them.
She and I both decided to join Weight Watchers and buddy-up (she lives in a different state) to give eachother support, at least over the phone or via email. She’s lost six pounds and I haven’t been able to lose anything. When I thought about why she was so successful, I realized it’s because she has all day to figure out her points for the day, prepare and cooks all her meals for the day (and throughout the day) around her points, grocery shop around her diet needs, go to WW meetings, etc… When I look at what I do all day, it all comes down to an hour commute in the morning, work ALL day, an hour commute home. When I get home I have to cram all of my life into four hours (6-10pm) before I have to get up and do it all over again.
Anyway, I’m off on a tangent here, but I guess my Wednesday Whine is when stay-at-home moms complain they have no time or no life. Yes, maybe I’m jealous (ok, I’m definitely jealous), but I just don’t feel that sorry for them. At all. Ever.
P.S. Some of the comments after the posted article continue the indignance. One comment is worth posting here, it made me laugh out loud!:
” Never mind the fact that when this kidless friend does finally finish working/shopping/cleaning/etc for the day she gets to spend the rest of her time doing anything AND she has all those hundreds of thousands of dollars, that people with kids spend on kids, to do that anything with. ”
Ok, what world is she living in?? Umm, I’m sorry, but after working, commuting, shopping, dinner, cleaning for the day, there IS no rest of my time for anything. And those hundreds of thousands of dollars laying around… well … very very very few of us have that. What a ridiculous comment.
… I trailed off on my weight loss topic, but I decided that WW just takes up too much time and attention to really do it well for success. It’s like a full time job trying to manage the points and food, etc… I’ve moved on to other simpler options. 🙂
I need to get back on WW. 🙂 I truly think it is the best weight loss program. At least for me, because I’m vegetarian and can’t really easily do the no carb stuff.
Hi Iris,
I’ve dabbled in WW, low-carb diets, even Paleo, but I always come back to this:
http://www.intuitiveeating.org/content/10-principles-intuitive-eating
I’m too busy to count points or carbs. Intuitive eating offers the simplicity I am always looking for in my life. I don’t have much to lose, just the 15 I gained when I got married (I still call it my “newlywed weight”, even after eight years of marriage!). Although I do like that WW provides support meetings in our local areas. This type of challenge is easier when shared with others. Good luck!
I really think that the degree of difficulty of a stay at home mom depends on the age of the kids. My guess is that kids between ages 0 and 3, who might not spend any time in pre-school or nursery school, are a full-time job, more like overtime. And the response in that article is pretty descriptive of mothers with kids around this age range. They are too little to stay engaged in an independent activity for long and require pretty much constant attention or supervision. But, I’m sorry. Stay at home moms of older kids, or kids that are attending school, have it easier than working moms or a lot of working women who are childless/childfree. They are also usually wealthier, or they would be working moms, and they do spend A LOT of money on all sorts of extra-curricular events for their kids. They are in many cases chauffeuring their kids from one activity to the next, and meeting up with other mom friends. Frankly, good for them, it seems pretty ideal to me.
dear Mary,
I loved your post!
Yes, everything what you have written is 100 % true!
I can relate! Reposted your comment: http://thebitterbabe.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/the-hours/
My wednesday whiny is- a client announced she’s pregnant (for the first time). So will have to talk with supervisor on whether we can determine if I’m able to handle that or not (due to me being a therapist)- truthfully, I say no. I don’t think I’d be able to hear all that talk for an hour weekly- and I can’t just “transfer” her to another due to the trust issues and access to a language/culture that very few folks are familiar with. Ethics suck in this.
Wow Wolfers, what a difficult situation to find yourself in. Whatever you and your supervisor decide, I hope it’s for the best for you.
I think the “advice” columnist should just have forgotten her opening paragraph and given her querent the respect her question deserved by answering it straight in the first place. Everyone’s daily schedule is a mystery to someone else, and it does us no good to pass judgment on each other.