During August, as I enjoy some travel time, I’m sharing some of my favorite and your favorite posts from the past year. I’ll look forward to seeing you again in September. ~Lisa
Today’s post was originally run on 4/4/12
Kathleen’s post about mistakes and well-intentioned people got me thinking about people who really ought to just mind their own business.
A few years ago, when I my glorious plans for motherhood were just beginning to come crashing down around my ears, Mr. Fab and I went wine tasting. As a rich, fruity cabernet was hitting my bloodstream and making my crappy world feel better, a woman (whose world was feeling a little too good) leaned over and said, “Should you be drinking?”
I was confused for a moment, until I realized she was peering at my belly. Admittedly, I’d put on a few stress pounds over the previous year, but I was beyond mortified that she’d mistaken my bloat for a pregnancy, especially considering that was the one thing I was truly aiming for.
I’d like to tell you that she realized her mistake immediately, but alas, she had to ask me twice – the second time for everyone around us to hear.
So, while I agree that most people are well-intentioned when they make a faux pas, in some cases, people just ought to keep their traps shut and mind their own damn business.
It’s Whiny Wednesday, ladies. Let ‘em fly.
I am not whining today. Last week I posted that I would be seeing my 45 year old friend’s baby for the first time. I was prepared for the worst because i really struggled with my feelings when she was pregnant, and avoided her during it entirely and the first year of her son’s life. People asked me to update them so here it is. It was fine. I didn’t get upset, and I didn’t cry. I think I felt fairly numb, and at one point, I had had enough and wanted to leave but couldn’t and started to get nauseous. But when I got home, I was fine and my husband and I had a nice evening. In the past, an event like that might have sent me to a dark place where i would need to hide and be by myself. I think it’s a good sign as to how far I’ve come that that didn’t happen. If any of you are still struggling, I hope this gives you hope.
Maria, I seem to do alright spending time with my friends and their children/babies. I have a harder time dealing with pregnancy announcements, or being around pregnant friends. I also have a difficult time when people make statements about motherhood/parenthood as the be all/end all of life. I shouldn’t be so sensitive to this… people do say all sorts of things I don’t necessarily agree with. It is just that those things about motherhood are so prevalent.
I used to feel that way too but lately that stuff is just not bothering me. I think that maybe I became so exhausted from carrying this burden, I dropped it someplace. I’m thinking maybe this is a natural progression because holding on to the pain started to become more uncomfortable than the pain itself. Hang in there.
Maria- Thank you for sharing. I really needed some hope today. So I thank you!!!
I’m so glad!