By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
Earlier this week I received a lovely invitation to an “Egg Meets Sperm Networking Mixer.”
What the fruitcake?!
Perhaps it came to my mailbox because someone (or some program) noticed that I write a lot about “babies” and “being childfree” and determined this would be the perfect event for me. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the event was being hosted by one of the many LGBT organizations I support, and it was intended for gay couples who are exploring their options in adoption, surrogacy, and IVF.
But before I could think through any of this, I reacted by throwing back my head and laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all. Oh, my crazy, mixed-up, outrageously funny life!
As the days passed, I found myself still chuckling as I replayed this in my head, and it dawned on me how far I have come in the past three years. If I had received this invitation earlier in my journey, it might have brought on tears, a grand pity party, or a fit of anger at the unintentional cruelties that served to remind me of my losses and lacks.
The primary reason I can sit here today and laugh about it is because I have been able to heal. And the primary reason I have been able to heal is because I’ve been allowed to grieve, share, commiserate, and celebrate with the amazing community of compassionate women I’ve encountered through LifeWithoutBaby.
If you’ve been a part of LWB for a while, thank you for being a blessing in my journey. I am so grateful to you for your openness and support. If you are new to LWB, stick with it. I know today may be a difficult day for you—I’ve been there. I also know that better days are ahead. You will heal, you will move forward, and you will laugh again.
Kathleen Guthrie Woods is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She is mostly at peace with being childfree.
I’ve been TTC for 6 years and I’m 35 now. the are times when I just want to cry and get mad and other times when I think it’s for the best. I love following your posts on FB and you give me hope. Hope that things will turn out just the way God planned. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
I find myself also dealing much better with “triggers” these days. Of course, sometimes they creep into my subconscious, in the way of dreams, but still, much better.
Good for you! Yes, sometimes the ridiculousness of these things can only be laughed out. And I bet laughing (and realising you were laughing) felt good. Felt wonderful, in fact.
And that is why I am so glad to have found this community. The old hope of children is gone, but from reading posts like this, a new kind of hope is appearing!
Thank you!
xx