Mr. Fab and I had a lovely quiet Thanksgiving, just the two of us.
We watched Home for the Holidays as a reminder of what’s good about not having to do the “family thing.”
But now we’ve turned the corner into December and I’m feeling my first pangs of the holiday blues. There are so many things that I wish were part of my festive season, like hand-delivering gifts to my family, shopping for small children, and having the kind of Christmas I had as a child.
But, I’m taking my own advice. I’m focusing on the good stuff, making plans to do festive activities, and creating new traditions suitable for a family of two.
But, boy, it’s not always easy is it?
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What are you struggling with today?
I used to love this time of year and find myself sometimes faking holiday cheer when I’m feeling down. Doesn’t help that one of my due dates would’ve been around Christmas. People amaze me with things they say sometimes. On a craft message board I belong to those with and without kids made comments that you only bake at Christmas if you have kids (phrased differently by each, like “I don’t bake at Christmas because I don’t have kids”). Holiday baking is my favorite and didn’t know because I don’t have kids I shouldn’t be doing it. I give cookies to my employees at work, friends, family, neighbors, my groomer, my vet, local police, etc. They all look forward to it and I enjoy doing it. Now those statements from others won’t stop me from baking, it just hurt a little when I know it probably shouldn’t.
I bake at Christmas too. At work we do a dessert swap instead of a gift grab bag. Everyone likes it because it gives you the chance to try someone else’s fabulous dessert. Don’t stop baking.
My due date was right before Christmas, too – definitely a difficult reminder every year! Puts a damper on the season for sure. But hey girl, bake away & overlook the ignorant comments! We matter, too!!
Ignore them, Jenn… and bake away!!!…. My family immigrated to the U.S. when I was 5. I never felt poor, but I guess we must have been because my parents started out as factory workers, and my dad worked around the clock. My mom NEVER baked with me. So I would definitely not associate that tradition with having kids. Last year I made creme caramel for my two neighbors. I wish I was your friend or coworker so that maybe I could get some of those goodies. I had a coworker many years ago (around 15) who made amazing rum cakes. Obviously, I haven’t forgotten them!
Yesterday I was rooting through a box of old stuff and came across a framed ultrasound that my sister had given me back in 2001. I remember how excited I was to see this new family member and how proud an auntie I was going to be. I thought I’d put it up with my own ultrasounds one day.
Instead I’ve thrown out the pic and donated the frame. Just protecting myself, I don’t need to feel that stab of pain again in the future.
On a better note, I rescued a lost cat last night.
How blessed that cat is to have you as a rescuer. My cat has been a great
Source of love and support through my divorce and life with out a baby. Good for you giving the frame away. No need to look at something that will hurt.
Hello Kelly, I’m so glad to hear you rescued a lost cat! What a wonderful thing. Last year, we had a cat come to our back door, by surprise, out of the blue. He was lost, homeless and hungry. How could I say no to such a sweet, fuzzy, cute, worried, little face, looking up at me begging for food and a loving home? We took him in and never regretted it for a moment. He took over our home and our hearts so fast.
It was just what my husband and I needed, as shortly after that I miscarried our baby. There were days when I would just hold our new little kitty and get comfort from his soft warm little body. It gave me tremendous comfort. It’s been over a year now since the miscarriage, and since adopting our kitty, and he still gives us comfort (and a lot of laughter!) every single day. I hope you can keep the kitty. He (she?) is lucky to have you. xo
While cooking and having a glass of wine last night, my husband was a work and I was enjoying a little peace and quiet listening to a Christmas radio station on iTunes, when I stop dead in my tracks. I turn toward my phone which is singing some song about how a baby changes everything and it’s so great… wtf?! How about a song staying NOT being able to have a baby, or choosing that, changes everything?! What kind of song is this? Totally one sided and all cheery?! I literally stood there not even able to go and see who was on my phone singing this dumb song! That’s my whine for the entire week.. let’s stick with the old holiday music and not this crap I heard yesterday… Like that is a song to get you in the holiday cheer… :-/
Not a whine, but a NEWSFLASH: Oprah speaks out about never wanting children. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20765210,00.html
Okay, I guess the whiny part is that just about every other article on the site is about pregnancy/baby bump/new births/celebrity babies. However, look how far we’ve come that being childfree — by choice even! — can now be part of the conversation. Wahoo!
My whine is that I cannot bear the pressure on my heart this time of year. I am reminded of how many traditions I planned to start with children that I will never be able to have. To make things worse, I work with someone who went through IVF the same time as me and is now pregnant. I cannot take the multitude of misfortune that my life has dealt to me since I was child and into adulthood. My whining is that I cannot escape to a world where children aren’t surrounding me.