Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Comments

  1. I never liked Valentine’s Day when I was single. Until I met my husband, I was either single and sad on Valentine’s Day, or in a bad relationship and sad on Valentine’s Day. My husband and I got married on February 10 and we do something special then. He doesn’t like Valentine’s Day so I have always told him he doesn’t have to do anything for me on it because he does such nice things for me on our anniversary.

    I recently posted on the community page that my husband’s nephew and his girlfriend had a baby on my anniversary, and the baby looks just like my husband. It was very painful for me and I just want to thank the people who commented to send their understanding and comfort. I returned to Facebook a few weeks ago but deactivated my account again to avoid seeing the daily baby updates. At least the pain is more manageable this way.

    • Maria, I deactivated Facebook too! It is so ‘in your face’ with everything–I can’t stand it. Sounds like you have a great mate–Happy Anniversary!

      I really can’t stand Valentine’s Day. Actually, I dread it. I always have. I am single and that certainly doesn’t help, especially when some have called the day ‘Singles Awareness Day.’ Honestly, even when I’ve been in relationships, Valentine’s Day never lived up to the hype or my expectation… I find, that I am usually, somewhere trying to disappear or acting like I’m okay. The truth, it can make me feel a little depressed and not so good about me. It’s a reminder that I am on my own, without someone willing to profess their love for me; then it goes into the things we talk about on this site and leads to me feeling sorry for myself. I know, it’s a bummer.

  2. Valentine’s Day inspired the same feelings in me in my teens, 20s and early 30s, when I was either single, or sad that I might not have a future with my significant other. My dh came to the U.S. in his 20s, from a culture that does not celebrate many of our holidays. That has rubbed off on me, and I’m glad it has. I am far less affected by these days being any more significant than any other.

  3. Valentine’s Day isn’t really a big deal here in NZ. Sure the florists and restaurants all try to make it so, and a certain group buys into it, and so I can’t say it slides by unnoticed. But we don’t celebrate it (our wedding anniversary was only last week, so it is a case of too much too soon).

    • Kiaora Mali,
      I am a kiwi gal also, glad we don’t have a huge amount of hype around valentines day…. Now Mother’s Day, that’s a different story…constant tv ads do my head in!

  4. I’ve always thought of Valentine’s Day as an excuse to buy a pair of shoes. Single or in a relationship, I just thought I should be the first to give myself a treat.

  5. Here in Finland Valentine’s Day is actually Friendship Day. I’m not kidding. I didn’t grow up with Valentine’s Day in Indo, but the celebration started spreading there when I was in my 20s. I never really think too much of it, though I know a university friend of mine who was so bothered by it because she wanted to have a boyfriend (back when we were still at the uni). I just thought that restaurants and cafes wanted to make the best of celebrations like that to earn more money. My husband and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, either.

  7. This year I’m very grumpy about it. That is because I’m single and I seem to have noticed that more and more people post status updates on fb about their lovely relationship, Valentine’s day or not. I don’t understand why they have to brag about it. It’s kind of obvious that it will hurt some singles, and also people who are in an UNhappy relationship. I mean ok I understand someone sharing that they had an exceptional meal or did a very special activity on their anniversary or on Valentine’s day. But why do they think that they have to “congratulate” everybody and your granny to Valentine’s day? There are too many out there who have nothing to celebrate at all.

  8. Elena, I agree with a lot of what you said. Still, I am working this Valentine’s Day morning, trying to keep myself busy, minding my I own business, trying to make it a good day… I’ve already shared my thoughts on Valentine’s Day and we’re all dealing with all that brings us to this site. Well, I must share with you all something that happened moments ago–double whammy. I get an email from a colleague titled Happy Valentine’s Day containing a cute ‘message’ from her baby and pictures of the baby all decked out in red and white, hearts and bows. The pictures are beautiful and they made me smile, I replied to the email acknowledging the beautiful pictures. The flip side, they also caused a lump in my throat and my eyes to get teary. It might be a long day today and maybe draining. Still, I am determined to get through it with my head held high!

  9. I love red and cute valentines shirts but I also found out 3 years ago I was pregnant so it is always a sad reminder of that day. Lost the baby on April Fools day. As a teacher those are kind of important days in a classroom and hard to ignore.