Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Comments

  1. I am new to this site and it couldn’t have appeared at a better time! I have read some of your articles and they are humbling and reassuring as I am going through a very low point watching our friends get pregnant but my husband and I suffering 5 years of medical treatment and no baby.
    Getting older and seeing the window of opportunity slowly closing in front of you is scary and sad, wondering if we should call it a day and get on with our lives that have been “put on hold” and start to recover and attempt to come to terms with infertility.
    Unfortunately, no one on the outside, including family understand what energy is required to put yourselves through treatment from miscarriages and unsuccessful treatments, there is only so much you can take emotionally as a person and a couple.
    So it’s not really a big moan I am just pleased to have found this great site and I hope to find strength and support from it.

  2. My mom actually said these words to me “admit it, you’re jealous” when she brought up for the millionth time that my sister is pregnant and I will never be (and no, I did NOT “admit it”)

  3. I’m trying very hard to stay off of Facebook, but I just can’t completely cut the cord yet. It’s become such a source of unhappiness for me…I don’t know why I continue to torture myself. Of my 220 “friends”, I probably really only care about 10 of those people. I realize I can “hide” and unfriend people, but it’s just the habit of always going to FB that I want to break. I rarely post updates myself because I don’t think the moms really care about my non-mom life. (Probably 70% of my friends list are moms.) I’ll be so happy the day that I can actually delete my account!!

    • I felt like you and after I read something on FB (of course child related) that really hurt me, I deactivated my FB account. Before that I was hiding a lot of pages, but I too kept going back to read about their kids and I was torturing myself. I was off for about 6 months and it really helped me heal and made me realize what a source of pain it was. I reactivated a few weeks ago to share wedding photos with my family but after having taken that long break, I find I no longer check FB as often or care what I see while I’m on it. Do yourself a favor, take a break from FB, and call those 10 friends you really care about instead. It will change your life.

    • Facebook is so hard! I’ve really struggled with social media, I think I have finally figured out my healthy way of using it. First, I worked on my own recovery but I also only use it myself and engage with others on social media to make think, make laugh, inspire and truly connect. I wrote a post on it on my blog if you want to check it out.

      • Yes, the dreaded FB. In the last few months I’ve seen 2 sets of twins (always thought it would be amazing to have twins.) , ultrasound pics, and now a girl I was in high school with (we’re 44) is glowing with her handsome new husband and pregnant. I admit I get jealous which is a nasty feeling. And, of course, all my friends have kids and are constantly posting philos0phical mumbo jumbo about the lessons they learn from them. OK I’ll stop now.

    • I use FB a lot but increasingly as a platform to get updated about events, concerts and projects in which friends are involved. The “original” function, to stay connected with old school friends etc., is not really important to me. I can keep those people as fb-friends, but most of then hidden (apart from the one who leads a truly amazing life as an ocean biologist in Hawaii :-)). That way I get spared most of the baby pics. The cat pics are more annoying actually.

  4. I am involved in a project that requires donations and or volunteering. I always donate to friends and family when they ask. Some of my husband’s family can’t be bothered. I know that times are tough and money can be tight but $5.00 seriously ?

    • Sorry meant to say you can’t even donate $5.00? When I take time out to donate for them