How are you doing this week? If you’re here in the U.S., hopefully you’re looking forward the long holiday weekend. Got anything fun planned?
Today is Whiny Wednesday, so if there’s something, almost anything, you need to get off your chest, go for it.
My whine for today is simple… People who don’t have children buy houses! Now that statement may sound funny being the first thing I started with but hear me out. I don’t really “watch” that much TV. I have a couple guilty pleasure shows that I love, Bravo is a must for reality shows and my hubs and I like House Hunters. It’s not these shows that I have a gripe about, it’s the commercials! They show couple’s buying a house, cars, groceries, ect. ALL having kids or expecting. Seriously?! Like we who don’t have them can’t buy a big house, or a new car (SUV or van), food or anything else they want you to think about buying from the TV because we don’t have children?! It’s annoying to me. It makes me not want the product that they are selling because it’s sterotyped that you have to be like everyone else! I have a 3 bedroom home, huge yard, and it is full of love. My hubs and I have 2 dogs, and a cat. We both have a 4 door vehicle. We buy lots of food, and always invite friends or family over for meals. We don’t need kids for all of that! In fact, sometimes us without kids have more money to spend on extras because we are not supporting children. My whine for today is for companies to stop thinking and marketing to “families” with kids or expecting kids to sell their products! I’d be more excited for a product that isn’t “kid friendly” as my next purchase!! Thanks for listening!! 🙂
I like House Hunters (although some of them drive me nuts with their whining) but i don’t watch the commercials. 🙂
I am learning there are two things parents HATE to hear from non-parents:
1) “I’m tired.”
2) “We’re just gonna relax this weekend.”
I feel like they’re thinking “Why are YOU tired?” Or, that we’re lazy because we don’t have any weekend plans.
Those are just common small-talk comments. Would they rather hear what I’m REALLY thinking?! Like, “Why can’t I have kids to run around all weekend?!” Or, “Why does this woman deserve a child, but I don’t?” So, parents, just stop with the weird looks and nod your head nicely, please. 🙂
My whine is that infertility and my ectopic pregnancies has made me realise my own mortality. Couple that with my TGN, and my need for blood transfusions several weeks ago, I am in no doubt that I am mortal, that there is no reason why I won’t be on the wrong end of statistics, and that I can’t just think “oh don’t be ridiculous, THAT won’t happen to you.” So every twinge, every little thing that isn’t perfect after this surgery has me worrying and thinking. I don’t want to be a hypochondriac. I don’t think I am. But I can’t dismiss things as easily as I would have before all this.
Hugs to you. It is hard to deal with our feelings when our bodies don’t work like we think they should.
I’m a day late but my whine how people over look employees always coming in late just because they have children. My co worker has two small children but her husband doesn’t work during the day AND she has a nanny, but she is constantly late to work and I don’t think she has ever worked a full 40 hr week. Our supervisor just says ‘well she has children’. Do people get a pass just because they have children? If I always should up late or not at all, I would not have a job. I think my co worker and supervisor think because I don’t have children I will pick up the slack.
my whine how jealous and angry this makes me. everyone i know in person is happily pregnant, has kids or starting on their second child. and i have to be happy for them. for their due dates. i know its horrible but i cant be happy for them. i just want to cry and scream that its not fair. no one really understands this except those who go through it. but its like a secret society u dont know about till you are in and somehow no one i know in real life is in this. they all get preg first try. and they dont miscarry. everything is fine and dandy for them. i make art and show my struggles through it but people still dont understand! i just want to be a mom already.
Honestly? Okay.
I am tired of trying to make a child month after month after month while being bombarded with photos and stories of everyone else’s success in the matter. I’m sick of feeling like a failure and an outcast. I’m tired of “not counting” as a mother because my two pregnancies ended early in miscarriage. I’m sick of idiotic platitudes about why the pregnancies ended without any sincere acknowledgement of my very real and very justifiable grief. I’m sick of web boards filled with stupid little girls who act like life is a Disney movie (prince, marriage, castle, offspring, Happily Ever After) and all the crying that ensues when they get dumped by a guy they’ve known for a lump sum of five minutes because they’re now pregnant.
I want to feel better about my life and where it’s headed. I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy, isolated, drowning, and not as good. I want to go back to feeling happy on a daily basis for a majority of the day.
I want to contribute.
I want to stop hurting.
And I still want children.
I tried to have kids with my first husband in my late 20s but no luck. That ended in divorce and he went on to marry and have 2 kids, so it hurt to know it was my fault that we couldn’t conceive. I remarried at 42 and my husband already had 2 kids from his previous marriage, so we decided because of our age we would not try…we would focus on the 2 he already had. I love these kids and try to treat them as I would have my own, but after 9 years their mother still makes it a point to make sure I know I’m not their mother. That’s hard. So not only was I not able to conceive my own, but I have to be reminded that even now, I’m still on the outside looking in. At least that’s what it often feels like to me. Going through menopause now hits it all home in a whole new way…very very hard.