Back in May I wrote a post about my Mother’s Day plans for this year. You may recall that my friend and I had planned to take a trapeze class that day. Well, as it turned out, after battling the Mother’s Day traffic, the class was canceled due to some fierce winds that kicked up that day. Instead, we battled the Mother’s Day foot traffic to find a place to have a lunch with our respective Mr. Fabs.
During the weeks that passed before we could reschedule our class, I had a couple of doctor’s appointments that resulted in some tests. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I’ve been having some wild hot flashes and night sweats and generally not been feeling 100 percent.
On the day of our rescheduled class, as I was driving to meet my friend for our second attempt, my gynecologist called with my results. I wasn’t surprised to learn that my hormones were all over the place and my numbers put me officially in menopause.
I didn’t have too much time to think about this news as I was scaling a ladder and flinging myself off a high platform with nothing but a string net to catch me, but afterwards it all started to sink in. On the day I took my class, originally intended to take back Mother’s Day, I learned that any chance I might have had (slim as it was) to become pregnant and give birth to a child, was gone. The irony was not lost on me.
So, as Porky Pig would say, “Th-th-th-that’s all folks !” I am now officially done. And after a small wave of sadness, I’m okay with this. I’ve done my hard work in healing from my loss and I have my life moving in a direction I like. I don’t have to worry about how I’d feel about a surprise pregnancy (you know, like the ones people tell you happen “all the time.”) Somehow, there’s a finality to it all and it’s an end I think I was ready for.
Now I can get on with the business of doing things unbecoming for a woman of my age. I’m very much looking forward to that!
You can see my trapeze efforts in this video. I almost made the catch. And don’t be alarmed by the gasp from the crowd. I didn’t get hurt (apart from a few bruises and some muscle soreness the likes of which I have never experienced before!)
Lisa’s Trapeze from Lisa Manterfield on Vimeo.
lesley pyne says
I’m really impressed Lisa, what a great way of announcing a new start!
I’m in this place too and (apart from the symptoms) I’m okay, in fact I’ll venture to say that I’m pleased. I’ve healed and am moving on as a new and different woman – although I’m not sure I’ll announce it in the same way 🙂
bubli says
I am glad you made it to the class! What a fun moment to swing on a trapeze. I think it is a wonderful way to start a new chapter on your journey.
Just this month when Flo came to town, I wondered when it would end. It feels as though she is taunting me. I don’t look forward to some of the hot flashes, etc. of menopause but I look forward to a clear ending of any secret hopes or dreams.
Amel says
WOW! Impressive, Lisa! You look much younger than your age, though, and I don’t think it’s unbecoming to swing on a trapeze. Brave lady! Thank you for this space, for your book, for your openness.
Amanda says
I think you are so brave to attempt the trapeze! What an exciting adventure! I have begun to think recently about all the adventures an infertile life might lead me to explore. I could go back to school, take exciting trips, and devote myself further to writing. I have spent so much time with grief regarding all the motherhood experiences I won’t have. However, after a lot of soul searching and months of connecting with Life Without Baby, I am starting to see that there are benefits of not having children. I can help children in the community, take care of my pets, and be open to the freedom of new adventures. It is still a process, but I am getting better able to cope. Thanks for your inspiration!
Mali says
“Now I can get on with the business of doing things unbecoming for a woman of my age. I’m very much looking forward to that!”
Good for you!!! As someone who is also in the midst of wild hot flashes and other symptoms of the Big M and so can commiserate, I also share in the unexpected feelings of freedom that come along with the darn hot flushes (as we say in NZ).
Dallin says
Hey Lisa, I really enjoyed your article. It must be very hard to be a Woman suffering from infertility. I have no idea what you are going through, but I think this article will interest you. It is about a Woman like yourself who is facing the difficulties of infertility and how she is dealing with it. I think that you will enjoy reading this. Thanks! 🙂 http://www.reallifeanswers.org/challenges-in-life/how-do-i-cope-with-infertility/
loribeth says
You rock, Lisa. 🙂 Aunt Flo is STILL visiting me regularly, but I’m dealing with an increase in midcycle/PMS symptoms. :p My one comfort is I know she’ll be gone sooner vs later. And I will be glad to really, truly move on to a new chapter in my life.
HBKiwi says
I loved this post! I, too, am going through menopause after my total hysterectomy in February of this year, at age 34. I found a lot of support through your website and am on course for a full and fulfilled child free life. It was bittersweet to be completely done with my dreams of motherhood, but as you said, it is very freeing to know that chapter is closed and to be able to look ahead to the rest of your life. Well done on the trapeze and welcome to the land of ” doing things unbecoming for a woman of my age!”
Sherry says
I had a hysterectomy in my 40’s and I was fine with it at the time because I didn’t have to go through all the symptoms menopause, but as the years go by I feel sadness at not having grandchildren to spoil. Maybe I will do something VERY unbecoming to distract me, and because I can.
Thanks for the post!
Brigid says
Inspiring!!