Bitter. Desperate. Pathetic, sad, and lonely. That’s Hollywood’s typical childfree woman.
But don’t worry, in the end she’ll get her man and, of course, she’ll get her baby.
This week’s topic:
The way the media portrays childless women
Happy whining, my friends!
it is precisely the reason why I have never complained to the Ombudsman for the Children’s Aid over the way they treated us when we tried to adopt through them. the lies they told us rather than telling us they were not going to approve us they suggested we get counseling as a couple, and refused to give us any idea as to what they want from us to get approved. in fact at one point they did suggest that we were approved and to start looking online at the children available for adoption. years later when I looked at my home study I noticed some numbers listed at the bottom with explanations for the numbers. the numbers they had posted or written for us and our home study indicated that we were not approved. so the line that it was waiting on the desk waiting to be signed was a lie. only whiny people complain right?
And after she gets her man and finds she can’t have children, the the Hollywood couple hires a beautiful surrogate and have beautiful children. And the rest of us are pathetic and to be pitied.
They did this same thing in a church video about not giving up hope…I ended up writing a letter to the higher ups complaining that not all infertility stories end with a baby! That they should start addressing what to do next when prayer AREN’T answered!
Kara, did they ever reply to you??? If not, you should copy paste this message of mine, along with your own post and resend. Seriously, I’m sure most of us find ourselves in the “unanswered” prayers category regarding one or another devastating issue. It would be nice for this also to be acknowledged.
No they haven’t. But sometimes they will answer letters publicly and change names. I’m interested in seeing if they do this in about two weeks. There will be 6 public speaking opportunities for them to say something. If they don’t I’ll send them another one…and keep doing so until they respond in some way.
So today was the day that the person I wrote to spoke openly to everyone in the church and this was what was said…
For some, marriage or children is not a present reality despite “overwhelming desires and pleading prayers.” “Even so, everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation,” he said. “Much that is good, much that is essential — even sometimes all that is necessary for now — can be achieved in less than ideal circumstances. So many of you are doing your very best. And when you who bear the heaviest burdens of mortality stand up in defense of God’s plan to exalt His children, we are all ready to march.”
I was a subscriber of Glamour magazine since I was 19 and in college. When I was in my 30s and we were unsuccessfully trying, Glamour ran an article about a woman struggling with infertility. The article focused on one woman’s attempts, failures, heartbreak, depression and I related to every word. I also felt glad that Glamour was bringing awareness to such a sensitive topic that is never discussed. Until I got to the end of the article – it ended with the woman having a healthy baby and the notion that alls well that ends well. I knew I was hypersensitive to the issue at that point and told my husband about the article and saw in his face the same things I had felt – comfort in the commonality — but when I explained the ending, his face fell just like mine and was full of hurt. So, I wrote to the editor and tried to explain how well she presented the issue until the ending, that it was a missed opportunity to educate the public, and how hurt I was by the ending. She responded to me by saying the woman in the article was a member of her staff, it was intended to communicate what she went through and that they were all happy for her even if I could not be. She really made me feel like a bitter, pathetic woman. I stopped my subscription but that didn’t matter – I wanted the magazine to acknowledge my feelings were legitimate. It wouldn’t then, and here we over 10 years later, and the media still won’t.
Oh, Maria, I’m so sorry. What a heartless response from supposedly “maternal” and “supportive” women.
I thought so too. It took a lot for me to write the e-mail, and I felt scolded but not being happy for her. But from the rants on this website, we all know that’s a pretty typical response.
So many mothers have no empathy or kindness, and yet we are the ones who are somehow seen as incomplete humans.
I know that they are only TV sitcoms, but I loved 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation because the lead characters were strong, independent women (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, respectively). For P&R in particular, I loved that Leslie had a career, she eventually found a husband (late 30s/early 40s), and no indication of kids because they were focused on each other and their careers. SPOILER ALERT I was so disappointed when they ended up having triplets. It was a jump-the-shark moment for me because I truly thought the show would just move forward, without comment, on Leslie’s life with her husband/successful career and without kids. Not so much. Especially since it came out of nowhere. But every movie/show about women has those 2 milestones.
Just once, I’d like to see a show/movie do what P&R did, but without the kids. I truly thought that would happen, but apparently the only acceptable timeline in Hollywood includes the happy ending of children. I want a character in the mainstream to whom I can relate!
I agree. Here are two more:
King of Queens – the show did a good job around Doug and Carrie marriage’s without children, and some attempts and failure at having a child. The season finale, they are in a hotel room in a China with an adopted baby and Carrier takes a pregnancy test because she’s not feeling well and comes up with a surprise positive. My husband and I both loved that show, but the ending made us both sick.
Rules of Engagement – one couple is unable to get pregnant, use a surrogate and after the delivery of the baby, the wife finds out she is accidentally pregnant. I actually left an angry comment on their FB page after that one but was surprised to see my comment was “liked” by someone.
I was even more upset that in the finale of Parks and Rec that April and Andy had kids! Because all along they said they never would, then they decided “sure why not” and got pregnant that night. And then got pregnant again right after. Because that’s how it works.
Also a huge King of Queens fan and was thoroughly disappointed in the finale as well. The whole “everyone gets pregnant as soon as they decide to adopt” myth is so beyond stupid and I get so sick of it being perpetuated in the media/tv shows.
I totally forgot about April and Andy; I think I was too busy rolling my eyes at the time.
If you think about it, it’s all so unimaginative and formulaic. I never watched King of Queens or Mike and Molly, but goodness that “adopt a baby and get accidentally pregnant” trope is overused. And it’s why people tell us to “just adopt” and maybe we’d end up with that miracle baby happy ending we see all the time.
I’m just gritting my teeth waiting for that to happen to Howard and Bernadette on The Big Bang Theory because there was a whole episode a few seasons ago dedicated to her reasons why she didn’t want kids and it was a sticking point in their relationship.
I was dissappointed with the ending of Will and Grace because they both ended up having children at the end = happy ending.
Not really media, but I used to love stupid romance novels because they let my brain shut down and were a stress relief. Now, I see they’re all the same… The end scene is always finding out theyre pregnant or whatever. I had to stop reading them.
I agree with all about watching these shows and the predictable endings! My husband and I love watching Mike and Molly. In the show, Mike and Molly have been trying for over a year to get pregnant. They then put things on hold as Molly pursues her career in writing. The show has been on the air for a few years now….I had the same thought “how will this end, please do not let it end with a baby!” However, I am sure they will write a baby in the storyline. I am hoping not.
In the novels they never portray a woman who is single having things work out well for her as she has come to terms with her situation without a guy involved. No the stories always end with the single woman getting a guy and living happily ever after which sadly doesn’t happen to everyone in that situation.