Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Uber Parents

Whiny_WednesdayThey’re everywhere. You’ve heard them spouting about pre-schools. You’ve seen them take over restaurants. Maybe you’re even related to one!

They’re the topic for this week’s whine:

Uber-Parents

Here’s your chance to blow off steam.

Comments

  1. I guess I’ve removed myself so much from people with kids that I don’t know what that term means…. ☺️

  2. Eugh! Yep, they’re everywhere, even when you are walking down the road, you can hear them spouting about their kids and what it really means to be a parent…because unless you are a parent, you have no idea what an investment it is…blah, blah, bloody blah!

    Regrettably I am also related to an uber-parent. He has read all the books, he has lectured me on the reasons that my niece and nephew are crying and how each cry means something different ‘for example Sarah this one is because X is feeling separation anxiety…’

    And apparently these people have no volume control either, because everyone simply must know what a great parent they are and they’re different to everyone else…if only they knew. They’re just like every other smug parent on the planet…self-absorbed and arrogant enough to believe I am beneath them as I will never know what it is to be a parent.

    What a load of cow manure!

    • Wow. That must be so difficult. I am incredibly lucky that both my sisters are realistic in their parenting – they talk about the good, the bad, the ugly but also about the rest of the world. This had occurred more in the last few months as I have learnt to share more about how I feel and that the feelings are long term. I realized that for a very long time I have not shared enough about how I feel yet expected them to understand. It is all a growing experience and finding that my single, childless voice is as important as anyone else’s.

      • Yep that’s a fair comment Barbera – I’ve not been open with my feelings because all too often it dissolves into anger, frustration or tears. However I’m hoping as time goes on the combination of the neice and nephew getting older and me working through my grief will make it easier for me to speak up.

  3. I know what you mean, they are prevalent today. But I am glad to report that many parents I know hate them too! My mom went to lunch with me last week and she complained to me about how obnoxious pregnant women have become. She said, I had 6 kids and I can tell you it’s no accomplishment to get pregnant and give birth – it’s a natural thing that you have no control over – and she wondered why women feel so special bnowadays just because they have a baby. It made my day! And it was totally unprovoked too – I was happy and having a good day, so she wasn’t saying it to make me feel better.

    My brother is an uber parent – became a first time parent at 43. He is a good parent but he lectures everyone on how to have kids. When he does it to my mother, she looks annoyed and rolls her eyes.

  4. I am super sick of the “mummy bloggers”. Every day there are hundreds of them, professing to be experts on everything, or talking about how hard it all is. And the latest trend in the media of women saying they didn’t know how organised and capable they could be until they became parents and how that makes them much more valued employees. Like I’m somehow useless at time management because I only have to organise my own appointments. Well, I’m writing this as I have a lie in, in bed… Because I don’t have kids and I can! Ha!

  6. It always feels to me that they are purely making every excuse under the sun for their offsprings bad behaviour which is due to lack of “parental discipline”! Which of course they will never see. Its all very simple in my eyes – children need boundaries, desent (non processed) food and an early bed! I don’t care if they think I don’t know because I am not a parent – I see it crystal clear and feel very smug. I’ve no desire to even try to input to discussions or express my opinion (they are not intrested) – if I had close familiy who were trying to inflict their wisdom on me I would definitely be making a sharp exit at this point – with a carefree “good luck with that then” (I would have to yawn at the same time too), – well I’m off to the gym/pub/dancing/costa coffee/wash my hair ! Easier to say I appreciate that – this is the result of many years of silent torture. I do wish I had taken this approach a decade ago – its easier now. My coping strategy was to ditch all “parent” friends – i felt bad for many years – I know now it was the right thing. The good friends stayed in touch and we’ve had “non kid” catch ups. I’ve learnt over the years that on any topic people rarely want your opinion on anything in anycase – they just want to winge and let off steam and reasure themselves there is nothing more they can do – if you just listen and nod and don’t actually take on any of the words – it helps – offer up lots of fake enthusisam for their wisdom and then it all gets it out of the way quicker. I detect I am entering a cynical phase – not sure if this is part of the grief or acceptance stage or just a bit of old age – perhaps a justification of my own actions over the years! Its truly difficult when you are in amongst it and I am thinking of you and wishing strength to do whatever helps you through it. 🙂

  7. I am a teacher and have seen plenty of uber families. Having a large family by choice is fine with me but what really gets my goat is when parents come into school to tell me they are pregnant (again!) and then make a point of telling me it was “an accident” or ” I don’t know where we will put this one!”

    Maybe I am being cynical but in my opinion there is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy. There are plenty of contraception available which are 99% effective and if you already have a large family and don’t want any more there are also more permanent solutions. So stop saying it was an accident because we all know it wasn’t!!

    Rant over 🙂

  8. Just realised I got the wrong idea of uber parents I though this was big families hahaha.