When I asked Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos if I could make a stop at Silent Sorority on my blog tour, I should have known she wouldn’t let me get off lightly. If you’re familiar with Pamela’s work, you’ll know that she doesn’t skirt around challenging issues and she’s not afraid to write frankly about infertility and involuntary childlessness.
Pamela is a pioneer in our community, creating one of the first blogs (Coming 2 Terms, which grew into Silent Sorority) on the topic of life after infertility. Her book, Silent Sorority, was the first book I read about another woman who’d walked away from the infertility craziness. Since then she’s become a powerful voice, penning a follow up book, Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Find Its Voice and gaining national attention for the infertility community.
As expected, Pamela asked me some thought-provoking questions about where I find myself today after surviving infertility and thriving without children. You can read our conversation in her post, Two Wiser Women.
I love the interview and the picture of the two of you together. When I found this site in 2012, I watched an on-line interview with Lisa and Pamela and saw an underlying sadness in them. I saw it because I knew it existed in me and wondered if it would ever go away. I see from the picture joy in the 2 of you that wasn’t there a few years ago. And lately, I have felt true joy in myself and I was just thinking the other day that, a few years ago, I thought it would never be possible, that I would always be a person with an under current of sadness. I never expected to feel this good again but here I am, surviving and thriving like Lisa says. Thank you Lisa. I don’t think I would be feeling this way if I hadn’t found your site and all these supportive women.
Maria,
You’re very astute. I remember that interview and I know that Pamela and I have both come a long way since then. It takes time and sometimes it take so much time you don’t even realize it’s getting better, but then you look back and see where you’ve come from and realize just how far you’ve come. I am VERY pleased to hear that you are also thriving.
Thank you for being so supportive all the years. 🙂
~Lisa xx
Two of my favourite bloggers, together! 🙂 Jealous that you are close enough that you can get together, and hope someday there will be three of us in that photo! 😉
Aw, we have to find a way to make this happen. There’s something very special about sitting across a table from someone and chatting about things any friends would chat about, but knowing you have a shared history that is the reason for your friendship, but which doesn’t define it. Oh, and there was wine.
Look forward to one day meeting you in person, Loribeth!
Maria: So glad to know that you’re feeling a sense of joy! Happily, I can second that.
I recall reading somewhere that in order to truly feel the whole spectrum of emotions — to achieve joy you have to open yourself up to disappointment and the potential for loss and sadness. If not, you stay in a narrow band where the highs are mitigated as well as the lows. There was a point in my life when I was afraid of opening myself up to the potential for joy simply because I didn’t want to risk facing despair again. During that time I stayed in a place of cautiousness and self-protection. Once I realized that I was tough enough to withstand the lows — that I had become resilient and strong … forged like steel … I allowed myself to reach for joy again assured that I could handle whatever came my way. I’m so glad I did.
I wish that strength and resilience for all … xo
So true, Pamela. And it can be horribly painful to take that chance on finding joy again. Sometimes you have to start with the smallest step, risking a smile or laughing at a cat video, but bit by bit, you discover that capacity for joy is still there.