By Lisa Manterfield
A couple of years ago, a favorite local restaurant closed its doors, not because business was bad, but because the owner decided to reimagine the concept to make it more family friendly. My sweet little French bistro is no more.
What make this change particularly painful (and ironic) is that this gem, with its Parisian-style sidewalk patio, is where I sat when I wrote the first post for Life Without Baby.
One Friday afternoon, more than seven years ago now, I took my laptop, snagged a table in the sun, ordered myself a glass of bubbly and a half-dozen oysters and began documenting my life without the children I’d dreamed of. Since then, Kathleen and I have celebrated completing drafts of our books there (see photo) and, one evening, I met with one of my earliest readers of the blog to share a glass of wine and stories of our journeys. So, this place holds a special place in my heart.
Aside from the sentimental loss, the restaurant was also one of the few quiet adult places to eat in that area. Along with one or two other holdouts, it’s surrounded by family pizza joints and family burger bars. And now it’s going to be another family-focused restaurant—an “eatery” instead of a “bistro.”
The owner told the local paper that the new place “will cater to a larger segment of the population” and that he plans to “make it more of a place where everyone feels they belong.”
I found it ironic that this longtime patron, who once felt so at home there that she chose it as the place to write about not have children, would no longer feel she belonged. In a society where being childless often make us feel like outcasts, it hurt to be shut out of yet another place.
But perhaps it’s not time for us to despair yet. The follow-up to this story is that the family-friendly restaurant never did open its doors. The space sat empty for two or three years, so perhaps the owner’s assumptions about “everyone” was wrong after all. A new place is coming soon, a very family-unfriendly craft beer bar. I may have to mosey on over and enjoy a nice quiet brew. Perhaps I’ll take my laptop and write about it. Wouldn’t that be a nice full-circle ending?
Yes try eating in a burger joint or pizza place without a spouse or children…all by yourself, one of the reasons I dont eat out alot any more…if I do I take someone with me or take home
There was a time when I would not have eaten out alone. However, travelling for work that got me over this. When you are in a different city or different country, it is easy to want to experience the place and not care about what people around you (who you will never see again) think. It also helps to bring a book with you, so you have something to focus your attention on.
I do have a spouse now, but was only been married for the first time during this past year at 43. I still eat on my own frequently when travelling, but also don’t hesitate to grab dinner alone near home (with my kindle in hand) when he isn’t around. (I also go to movies by myself, as does he, if we don’t want to see the same thing.)
It took me awhile to become ok with this. It was like I had to practice being comfortable in those situations and eventually I was ok.
I think the difference with me eating alone is I lost my spouse of 38 years only 4 months ago and we were always together. So eating alone is completely different for me right now.
It would be lovely to have another Adult/child unfriendly place as a slight replacement to the bistro .. sorry it shut down 🙁 .. but hopefully the future is bright for that place. what is meant to be
Oh, that ending makes me happy! I’ve often thought of your little neighbourhood bistro, and its sad demise, when I’ve gone to our favourite local brunch place (that is definitely not pitched at the family friendly market).
I don’t bemoan not feeling comfortable in family friendly places, as I don’t think I’d frequent them (other than when I had to) even if I did have children! Maybe it’s a US thing? We don’t seem to have many restaurants pitched at families here in Wellington.
I’m glad I read this post; even though I’d read the original, I was very happy to read the new ending! 🙂 Let us know what you think of the new place! 🙂
loribeth,
I did go by over the weekend. Definitely NOT kid-friendly. There were bartenders doing elaborate cocktail shakes, and music booming from the open windows. Cool decor, but (I feel so old writing this) I generally prefer my watering holes to be a place to sit and talk over a beer. in the interests of research, I promise to go and give it a try.
Lisa