By Lisa Manterfield
One of the big changes I’ve seen since starting this site is that the topics of infertility and childlessness are being brought out from behind closed doors and are being discussed in more public forums.
Whereas once I felt as if I was the only person talking openly about this, I’ve since found an incredible network of fellow bloggers and authors writing very intimately about their stories. I’ve also received several requests to complete surveys from researchers who are exploring the effects and issues of unplanned childlessness.
In your corner of the world, you may still be feeling that NO ONE is talking about this, that no one understands what you’re going through, and even your closest confidants don’t want to talk about it. Sadly, I think this is still true for most of us. But the tide is turning, and the more we talk about this topic and the more we venture out and start these conversations, the less taboo it will become.
Even if you’re not ready (or feel as if you will never be ready) to start your own campaign for understanding, you’re already part of this quiet revolution. You’re here, you’re talking about your experience with others, you’re sharing comfort and encouraging other readers. Even if you’re doing all of this anonymously and even if you’re coming here in secret to contribute to these conversations, you are part of the change that’s coming.
This issue is never going to go away, in fact I believe that our segment of the population will only continue to grow (but that’s another post for another day), but perhaps in the future, our sisters who need help will be able to pick up a leaflet from their doctors or walk into a local support group or sit down with a friend over coffee and feel comfortable talking openly about what it feels to not to have the children you wanted.
one of the ways I contribute to this is .. every time i see someone getting “bullied” online or in person about how and why they don’t have kids .. i try to step up for them and say it’s not their choice and none of their business .. i try to educate the ignorant and i will continue to do so as long as i live, no matter what my circumstance.
I set up a support/connection meeting near Phx,AZ under Gateway women. It’s set up for the 3rd Sunday of each month @ 4pm…the dates/times are not set in stone but I sure would like to meet some other women who understand this journey i’m going through! Please contact me @ [email protected]
I’m so happy to find this blog, although I feel like I’m the only Asian childless woman here. I have also recently posted about my feelings about being childless not by choice in my blog, in my local language. I was just a little careful since my blog is not anonymous, but I am happy about it. Just in case someone I know finds that post, I really hope to be understood and people around me would just accept that I don’t have children and still can live a happy life
Even though it is my own life it feels almost taboo to speak about it.
My choice causes anger in some. My choice causes sadness in others. Mostly It causes confusion.
So the expectation is that I will be fine with the 3 new babies at thanksgiving. It is expected that I will rise above.
It is expected I will rise above the season of family. It is expected that I don’t let it get to me.
I believe like with all the “quiet revolutions”, it’s one day @ a time. Step by step…
I don’t know, if it is because I am paying more attention, but I would agree that it is a topic that is slowly coming out of the shadows. And I also would like to say thank you because just being able to read and occasionally comment here has given me the courage to start talking openly about not having kids with others – albeit cautiously!