This topic came up on the community forums a while ago and I thought it was a great topic to explore here on Whiny Wednesday.
Not being treated like a “real” adult because you’re not a parent.
I’ve certainly experienced this myself and talked to friends who say they’re still treated like a kid because they don’t have children of their own.
How about you?
Ugh this is one of my worst pet peeves. People assume we sit around, drinking, partying and living the high life of an early 20-something because we don’t have children. Nope…still have bills, life insurance, medical appointments, jobs and all the other grown up things. It also goes along with assuming that we can do more for other people since we don’t have kids keeping us busy. I don’t mind helping out my family…. but it’s getting a bit ridiculous that there is an expectation that I should help with everything all the time (and my sisters none of the time) simply because I was not lucky enough to have children. It’s kind of a crap shoot all around!
AMEN!!!!
People are always shocked that I’m pushing 40. A conversation that I had early this year went like this.
Friend: “I can’t believe I’m turning 30! You’ll understand when you get closer to turning 30.”
Me: “I turned 30 seven years ago. Talk to me when you’re almost 40.”
Friend (completely flipping out): “YOU ARE ALMOST 40?!?”
And the part about being expected to help ALL THE TIME….ahh!!! Don’t get me started. My dad sent my sister with his medicare stuff to read through to help him understand it. It was literally 5.5 inches thick of paperwork. I have NO background in insurance. I was a school teacher.
And my mom expecting me to drop my life to do weekend trips with her all the while complaining that she has no money.
My sister wanting me to go to her kids dr appointments with her or in place of her.
And then they get mad at me when I say I can’t help because of “xyz” and expect me to change my life to fit theirs.
I totally understand where you are coming from.
I’ve had to work on this with my parents. It’s not that they treat me as a child but sometimes the help they want to give me in the absence of a partner and children can make me feel like a child still. We’re getting there but we’ve had to have some tough conversations.
Another pet peeve is people who still send Christmas cards and invitations to my parents and me, which they would never do if I was married. Have never understood the thinking behind this – have lived away from parental home since I was 18.
It’s not really a point that people think I’m not an adult, it’s just that when I’ve discussed holiday plans at work lately, people ask me if I’m taking any time off, which I’m only taking one day because I don’t do anything special for the holidays, they always tell me about how important it is for them to take time off because of their kids. It just makes me feel bad like I have no life, and that I don’t “deserve” to take off for the holidays because I don’t have kids.
I do have the option to take off, don’t get me wrong, but I personally don’t mind working around the holidays because there’s no traffic, there’s no one around to bother me, and I do very little work so it’s just easy and relaxed. I just hate how it’s assumed that if you have kids then you should be allowed to take the whole week off between Christmas and New Years, and so all of the childless people will man the offices.
I’m also annoyed by my company’s emails about the Breakfast with Santa event they host every year. I don’t want to get those emails!
Sorry, not sure why I’m so negative today, but I am! I guess it truly is a Whiny Wednesday, so thanks for allowing me to vent.
Don’t apologize! We all deserve to gripe and vent sometimes. And it sounds like you have some legitimate complaints! Hope this quiet down in the New Year!
People assume we have no life and all the time in the world. they assume we don’t have any “real” responsibilities .. not taken seriously .. like our opinions about certain things .. it’s all such BS!
I agree that people do this… Even when they are considerably younger than me.
That’s true .. it’s so so wierd when they are a lot younger yet have 2-3 kids .. feels like im in the twilight zone!
Some people believe I have it all: all the money, all the time, all the resources and all the energy to help them…whenever they need me…far from reality… I have a life as they have, sometimes they don’t want to hear that….
Merry Christmas to all !!! Praying for all of us !!!
I find, if their FB posts are correct, people with kids tend to have more vacations and fun events than I. Somehow, it is my husband and I taking the time and making the effort (along with the retireds) when organizations we belong to need something done or arranged. We don’t have Sex in the City lives, thank you
I feel like we have to travel for every event instead of hosting one or two. No one has bothered to come visit my new puppy and when we have a party or bbq I could give a years notice and still get an excuse or hear ” If you had kids you’d understand ” . Lately feeling like the black sheep of the family since I can’t have kids. So we have been traveling more and I haven’t been taking off work for events most of the time since no one bothers for anything important for me. They know I work Saturdays and purposely schedule everything then instead of a Sunday once or twice (no one goes to church so that’s not an excuse). Next year maybe we’ll go away for Christmas.
Being told what you can and can t do. It would be okay for her to act this way, but not me. Snapping at you in front of adults, yet had you done the same thing, you would have heard about it. This is setting limitations on what you can do, but they think it doesn t apply to them.