Kathleen has been on fire with the Whiny Wednesday suggestions lately. This week’s is a good one, so I’ll just leave it here for you to do with it as you please:
“Parenting is the hardest job in the world”
Comments
filling the silence in the motherhood discussion
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I was a teacher for 17 years. A fellow teacher friend of mine, who happened to have two littles and knew that I am infertile, came into my classroom one day. She was visibly upset and said that while parenting is extremely difficult, at least your own children show love to you. In contrast, she stated, our students often show absolutely no appreciation for our efforts. In her mind, teaching was a more difficult job than parenting. I truly appreciated her sharing these thoughts with me. It gave me validation that what I did mattered, was difficult, and someone with littles understood!
Having worked in education, I completely agree! Bless you for wanting to stay in the field despite everything
I started to write a very angry statement about your Whiny Wednesday topic, but I just can’t go there today.
There are plenty of days I am glad I don’t have to deal with some of the stressors of having a child in today’s world. There are plenty of rewards to having children, too, that I will also never get to enjoy.
So, I will leave with this: The grass is always greener on the other side.
absolutely. I just think that when we are faced with infertility we have to learn about the grass being greener on the other side the hard way. While parents often seem to even get encouraged to think that everything is both greener and harder on their side.
Well at least that’s one thing we can be smug about 🙂
I think parenting can possibly be one of the most unrelenting jobs… As technically you’re “on duty” 24/7/365. But I think there are definitely other jobs that are more difficult.
I thought I’d comment on this whiny wednesday since i haven’t seen this one posted before! Sorry for not commenting .. just saw some of the last few whiny wednesdays were repeats and i have commented on them in the past year
Very thought provoking .. although it may be a tough job i imagine it being way more rewarding and fulfilling .. compared to other jobs .. and once again they think they are the center of the universe and there are no other difficulties out there.
I hate the use of the word “job” for parenting at all…. isn’t it a lifestyle?? Or a familial role? Of course it is hard, like Lee said, you are always on duty and it is such a huge responsibility, your life changes so much… all of those things. But it isn’t a job! It is your life!
I used to know someone who referred to looking after their OWN child when their partner was out for the evening as babysitting!
@Cath I totally agree
@Cariade Looking into my crystal ball I see divorce in that couple’s future
Cath, you are so right! When I was growing up, there wasn’t even the word “parenting”. That is a new one, and to me it always seemed kind of made up.
OK, so I guess I am “wife-ing” and “daughtering” and “sistering” and “aunting”! whew, I am tired from all those jobs.
Anyone who has been a step-parent will tell you that STEP-parenting is the hardest ____ (job or task or assignment or calling or whatever, fill in the blank) in the world, especially when doing so and coming from a background of infertility and miscarriages.
I am right there with you on this one. When the children are with us, there are all the negatives and responsibilities of being a parent with absolutely none of the positive rewards. To make it worse, add in the warped societal expectation that you are automatically supposed to love and care for these kids as your own with never a complaint but not expect anything in return because you aren’t their mother.
BTW – I happen to like my stepsons most of the time. I’ve known them their whole lives and have a good relationship with them (which is probably more than many stepparents can hope for). But, they are not my children and I will never have maternal feelings toward them.
Yes, it’s repetitive, sometimes dull and time consuming…. but so is being a carer to an elderly parent. Only with children most parents will see their children grow, learn and become more independent. Caring for an elderly parent you see physical, memory and cognitive issues getting worse….
Cariade, I too am a caregiver for an elderly parent because I am involuntarily childless. I absolutely love making a difference in my parent’s life when she needs it most but it’s also heartbreaking to witness their inevitable decline. Strength and grace to you and try to cherish this time with them.
Right there with both of you. Parents and Aunt. They are still independent enough, thank God, but this is what consumes much of my time.
Parenting isn’t a “job” it’s a lifestyle choice, if it was a job you’d be paid to do it. I’m so tired of hearing that phrase, it’s disrespectful to mothers, non mothers and the thousands of underpaid under appreciated child care workers. It’s also classist with undertones of racism. Parenting is only a “job” when a wealthy white woman does it. When a poor black or Latina woman does it she is either called neglectful because she has to work outside the home to feed her family or she is paid minimum wage or less because being a childcare worker is not considered a job worth paying much for. Saying this as someone who has worked in education and childcare for 15 years.
So true Rose
Thumbs up!
I really need to vent today…
I don’t understand why parents say it’s the hardest job in the world…
Well, at least they can claim their kids and get some extra money with that..
Tax season, remember???
Those without children…we are punished…twice…
Yes! I am glad to pay taxes to help our community and society but I always feel a stab at tax season because no matter what we do we always have to pay in more. It does feel like a punishment.
I’m trying to lose weight and joined an online-programme to help me count calories and get meal suggestions. It has, of course, a forum for users. When I found the thread “To mothers of young children”…. I just couldn’t stop myself and had to read it… The posts were so whiny!! The mothers were supporting each other in their belief that when you have young children, it is IMPOSSIBLE to loose weight and it’s MUCH HARDER for them than anyone else… I turned into an internet troll within seconds. Thankfully it seems I managed to word my post in a way that made it halfway acceptable to some of them so in the end we agreed that everyone has obstacles on their way to weight loss.
How about the social workers and volunteers who take care of the helpless people who are not even related to them by blood? I mean its human nature of women to take care of their children, with unconditional love, that’s automatic. But taking care of strangers is as hard job too
Agreed! I once responded to a facebook page by someone discussing parenting as the hardest job in the world, with something to the effect of caregivers to the terminally ill, or caregivers to the severely disabled having the hardest job in the world.