Over the past couple of years I’ve been “enjoying” a journey through menopause. Yeah, it’s a hoot. All the symptoms of PMS, plus fuzzy head, weight gain, night sweats, the works.
I’ve been prescribed HRT and I’ve been reaching out to older friends for advice, because there’s a lot about this I don’t know. Most of my friends have gladly offered support, however one woman (a friend of a friend) looked at me and said, “Menopause? You’re too young for that.”
I assured her I was not, and left the conversation, but really, is that a helpful thing to say? Yes, I know I’m too young for menopause. Add it to the list of things my body’s given up before its time. And then ask me how I feel about the possibility the rest of me might be aging faster than it should too. Does this ever end?
As you may have guessed, it’s Whiny Wednesday. If you’re not yet hearing this about menopause, in what other ways have you been dismissed?
Yep, menopause at 44. On the upside, I won’t have to look at pads and tampons anymore. They always felt like an insult after we ended our baby journey.
My period stopped when I was about 37-38 years old. No other menopause symptoms at all. There went my chance to have kids if I wanted them. It sucks because I’ve had some of the other issues that are associated with the low estrogen though and it sucks. I’m way too young for that. Its really hard not to be bitter.
(I’m repeating myself, but, it’s my ongoing whine. sorry.) when I was in my 20’s I was too poor. early 30’s, debating if I wanted to / could afford to have kids, I had heart issues and needed heart surgery. mid 30’s, when I felt recovered enough from the heart stuff and decided YES for kids, bam, hit by a car. (majorly hit. completely destroyed my beautiful motorcycle. woman who hit me was charged on site, but that’s small consolation…) late 30’s, when I felt recovered enough from the car accident to think about kids again, it was too late. My menopause just crept up on me, and the doctor didn’t say, oh, this could be menopause! she said, hm… lets try birth control pills, oh… those are the wrong pills, oh well, too bad. I knew late 30’s wasn’t ideal for starting baby making, but dammit, I had poverty and heart and car issues before that! it didn’t really occur to me that menopause would just walk in and say hey, let’s start disintegrating early! And that’s really how I feel – like I am disintegrating… I sure don’t miss the periods, pain and all the issues that included, but I really don’t like the panic attacks about osteoporosis, cholesterol and dying young because my body seems to hate me…
I was talking to a friend about the cholesterol issues and the heart pills I take, and he said, aren’t you young for that stuff? YES. YES I AM. sigh.
Great whiny topic – yes this is throwing salt on wounds. I’ve been fearful of menopause for years – it feels so unjust to be suffering it when my body didn’t achieve what it was designed to do. If I mentioned my symptoms (talked to very few people – just like infertility), no-one actually says anything helpful, the only advice I had was – take HRT. I just don’t want to – I had HRT with every 7 of my IVF cycles and it just erks me the thought of it. I also thought that taking HRT would prolong my periods and I wanted to go through whatever I had to go through for my periods to stop. I was peri-menopause at age 43 (confirmed due to IVF cycles with frozen embryos)! I had mild flushes throughout my 40’s – they became intense around age 47 – 50 (on and off at 2 month intervals) – clocking 20 per day and 3 in the night. I was just at the point of going to the doctor as they were impacting on my full time job and they stopped – I’m expecting them to kick off again but am enjoying for the first time, little to no period pains and few periods altogether and a good nights sleep. Has anyone worked through menopause without medication – is it coming to the end! I too worry about osteoporosis but my Mum took HRT for years and years – she still has osteoporosis, she has stayed relatively active and this seems to help. I’m thinking of controlling bone density loss with activities and food? If that’s possible.
Yes! Having POF and early menopause at 36 is not fair and certainly not funny. I have found that whilst women will try to have sympathy with infertility Menopause is something that is to be mocked or made light of. Too often people laugh at hot flushes or make flippant remarks. Being told I had to have HRT and the implications of this are huge and yet friends diminish with- ahh well you are fine now……..Whilst I know mother nature will get them back in the future I wish that they could have a little humility and perhaps even sympathy. The fact that I can’t have children seems to be something I should accept and get over, whilst I watch from the sidelines as everyone I know has a baby. I am expected to attend baby showers, show sympathy when they haven’t had baby number 2 on schedule and generally hide my sorrow. I try to be positive and acknowledge the positives of my life and on the whole I am ok. But I wish sometimes my feelings and pain could at least be acknowledged.