Well, here we are in 2020, and I think it’s safe to say that most of us are ready to see the back of last year. Between political craziness, tragic news stories, and a general feeling of uneasiness in the world, I’m ready for a fresh start.
I do love the New Year for the potential it brings in terms of a clean slate and the chance to make big changes. And yet, in the past, I’ve ended up putting pressure on myself to fix all the things that are wrong with me. My goals have included losing weight, exercising more, doing a better job of keeping in touch with people, and on and on—a long list of things I’m doing wrong.
But a couple of years ago, I started to change my outlook. Instead of treating myself like something broken that needed fixing, I began looking for my potential and making progress with the things I’m doing right. Last week, I wrote a post about it, Looking for Potential. Do take a look as I think you’ll find it a kinder, gentler way of approaching the New Year.
So, as we go into this year, I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself, too. Instead of trying to fix a laundry list of shortcomings, perhaps you could look for where you’ve made progress over the last year and focus your energy there.
For example, let’s say you have a friend who you’ve avoided because her children are the same ages yours would have been and you can’t bear to see her. Maybe you ran into her last year and realized you’ve missed her company. Could you set a goal to reach out to her, give her a call or send a quick email note, maybe broach the topic of getting together?
Or perhaps you’ve been reading this blog for a while or working your way through my, or someone else’s, book and you’ve hit a spot where you feel stuck. Maybe a goal would be to find a therapist, counsellor, or support group and get some additional help.
This healing process takes time. Oh, man, does it take time! But progress is made by inching forward a little at a time. So, don’t try to take giant steps forward. Instead, be kind to yourself and take the tiniest, most doable step possible, something you can actually accomplish and feel good about.
How could you inch forward on your journey this year? What’s the smallest, no-sweat step you could take? Let us know in the comments, and if you need a little encouragement to take it, just ask.
For now, I wish for you a genuinely happy new year.
This year for a change, I started a gratitude jar. It’s just a Mason Jar that sits on my desk and each day – I hope – I’m going to write out one thing that I am thankful for in my life. At the end of the year, I’m going to pour those little slips of paper out and read through them. I decided to do this rather than set New Year’s resolutions which in the past I’ve never kept and then finally just stop even thinking about the changes I wanted to make in my life. But with this jar, I hope I can change my perspective or at least nudge it a bit into a more positive direction.
Great idea!!!
I’m glad to see the back of 2019 as well after I was driven to quit my job due to bullying from management!
I am looking for something else now and have some interviews lined up until 20 January and also doing things for myself as well like having lunches out with my friends and talking things through and laughing about bad interviews and how everyone goes through them after I had one last week when it was ridiculous as I was kept waiting for 20 mins and had been due for 2pm. 2pm came and went and no interview and then it was 2.20 and I was called to sit on some seats and there was a man and a woman waiting to go in and they called the woman in at 2.20.
At this point I got up and walked out as I was fed up and felt really cross and disappointed so I went home early!
On my journey this year I plan not to put myself in places that all it will do is upset me and make me feel I am missing out! Also to get better at prioritising myself and what I want for myself looking at what’s important and what isn’t.
Important are things like health and time with my friends so when I had a call inviting me to an interview Monday and Tuesday next week I told them no as I am busy on those days as Tuesday its the doctors and Monday its lunch out with my friends and no they couldn’t rearrange so that was that but I wasn’t upset over it as there will be other opportunities that come round.