If you feel like you’re alone on this journey, I have some good news for you.
Today I am helping Jody Day of Gateway Women kick off a blog tour for the release of the second edition of her excellent book, Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children. Between now and March 19, the book’s publication day in the U.K., the tour will visit twenty-four blogs around the world, each with its own community of childless and women men.
Twenty-four!
That statistic by itself makes me feel less alone. We, my friends, are no longer lurking in the shadows. We are out there finding one another and traveling along this bumpy path together.
And here are some more statistics to give you hope. In the updated resources section of this new edition, Jody lists:
- 30 recommended resources, including organizations, websites, and support groups around the world
- 22 active blogs, including many new ones since the 2016 edition
- 15 pages of recommended books covering topics, such as:
- the Single & Childless Experience
- Midlife & Elderhood as a Childless Woman
- Understanding and Supporting Your Grief
- Forgiving Your Body
- Meaning, Purpose, Happiness & Choices
- Resources for LGBTQIA+ and Women of Color
- Childless Men
Often on this blog, I try to emphasize that you are not alone. I hope these resources and statistics will help validate that for you, and give you some new places to find information, support and compassion.
Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children comes out on March 19, and Jody has kindly offered a copy of the book for me to give away. Just post a comment below and I’ll select one commenter at random on March 19.
You can also enter to win at the other blog stops on the tour. You can find the complete list of tour stops here. The links will be updated as the posts go live
If you’d like to support Jody and her work and guarantee your very own copy of the book, you can pre-order a copy from here.
‘The book to recommend to patients when they face coming to terms with unavoidable childlessness.’ British Medical Journal
In Living the Life Unexpected, Jody Day addresses the experience of involuntary childlessness and provides a powerful, practical guide to help those negotiating a future without children come to terms with their grief; a grief that is only just beginning to be recognised by society.
This friendly, practical, humorous and honest guide from one of the world’s most respected names in childless support offers compassion and understanding and shows how it’s possible to move towards a creative, happy, meaningful and fulfilling future – even if it’s not the one you had planned.
Millions of people are now living a life without children, almost double that of a generation ago and the numbers are rising still. Although some are childfree by choice, many others are childless due to infertility or circumstance and are struggling to come to terms with their uncertain future. Although most people think that those without children either ‘couldn’t’ or ‘didn’t want’ to be parents, the truth is much more complex.
Jody Day was forty-four when she realized that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years she was hit by waves of grief, despair and isolation. Eventually she found her way and in 2011 created Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women which has now helped almost two million people worldwide.
This edition, previously titled Rocking the Life Unexpected, has been extensively revised and updated, with significant additional content and case studies from forty involuntarily childless people (mostly women) from around the world.
And finally, if you’re looking for Mother’s Day support this year, Jody will be doing a webinar.
Free ‘Coping with Mother’s Day’ Webinar – Jody Day & Guests – Sat 14th March, 5pm GMT
This free webinar will be recorded and available to view/share on the Gateway Women website afterwards. We’re looking at the ways different experiences of childlessness and Mother’s Day can painfully intersect, offering insight, support and self-care tips.
Marci says
I read the first edition and while gut wrenching, it got me to the point where I was able to do the work to grieve and move forward. It also gave me the courage (along with this website) to begin to talk about it. For that, I am thankful.
Linda says
Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of my future.. getting married, having children. Throughout the years, meeting the wrong men, saying I had more time, and eventually as time went by and I got older, coming to the conclusion I wouldn’t experience the greatest miracle of all.. giving birth.. I’m 55 now and I live with this void every single day. Having seen friends have children and now grandchildren, is heartbreaking. I cry a lot about it and know in my older years I’ll be alone. Every single day of my life, there’s an empty space in my heart and soul… a void… They say everything happens for a reason, I just don’t know why.
Analia D Toros says
I feel for you and I can relate to you. It’s no easy.
Julie Greenan says
I found Jody Day’s TED talk while looking for material for one of my Spanish students who’s learning English. I followed her trail, joined Gateway Women, bought and buried myself in her book and it has moved me forward through the ‘disenfranchised grief’ that I never dealt with 20 years ago when I had two miscarriages, useless fertility treatments and investigations and finally the end of a relationship that marked the end of any possibility of having children. I can feel myself emerging out of the tunnel of those 20 years into a new brightness, new horizons that I never dreamt existed. I feel alive again, even more alive. I feel deep gratitude, from the bottom of my heart. I’m sure this latest edition is indeed the lighthouse that guides those of us who cast off from the shore and set out into the dark, unknown waters. It is unmissable.
Anastasia says
Thank you for your beautiful work here on the blog, I’m so grateful for it.
And I’m excited for the new edition of Jody’s book! The prior edition, plus the Gateway Women Online Bee program are steadily moving me towards peace and healing… and my Plan B life!
Andrea Duthie says
Thanks so much to you, Jody and the other courageous women around the world who through your books, blogs, videos, articles and online communities are helping so many of us feel ‘not so alone’ in our journey with childlessness. Your wisdom, gentleness and honesty has helped me hugely in my own active grieving and as I continue to journey with acceptance and the possibilities of what my life can be. I had the privilege of meeting Jody at a Reignite Weekend in 2018 and I am really looking forward to reading the new addition of her work.
Arohanui (much love and blessings) from Aotearoa-New Zealand
Heather Duncan says
Quite simply, this book and community has helped save my life. It’s not just the lighthouse, it’s also the whole warm village ashore who keep the light on too. Grab it with both hands.
Emma Manser says
I would love to win a copy of Jody’s book to help me through this difficult transition period. I have had unsuccessful IVF rounds and can’t continue due to health reasons. I find myself no longer belonging to the TTC camp but not quite belonging to the CNBC camp either. I have had some counselling which was very helpful, but I feel I need something to guide me through the difficult road towards acceptance. Thank you xx
Lisa Manterfield says
Thank you everyone for the support for Jody’s book.
Analia, you were the winner. I have sent you an email.
Lisa -x-