
Dear friends,
This week marks the tenth anniversary of Life Without Baby. When I started this blog to help myself sort through the mess of infertility, I never imagined that, ten years later, I’d have posted more than 1,600 posts, received over 12,000 comments, and become part of an online community of almost 4,000 members. I feel like I’ve got to know so many of you through your comments, emails, and social media posts. I’ve even had the very good fortune to meet some of you in person. I have felt connected to a worldwide group of women who understand me, and I am grateful for the support you’ve given me.
For ten years, I’ve been writing about letting go of the life we had planned, about working through grief, and moving on to a new chapter in which we can find joy in our lives again. The time has now come for me to practice what I’ve been preaching. It’s time for me to embrace a new chapter in my own life.
2020 has already been a year of huge transition. Mr. Fab took early retirement, we had to say good bye to our beloved fur-baby, Felicity, and in a few weeks’ time, I’ll transition into the second half-century of my life. My professional life is also transitioning, with several very positive changes happening in my writing career (which I promise to tell you about as soon as I’m able.) As a result, my work is now demanding more than my full-time attention. All in all, I’m receiving a clear message from the universe that it is my time to let go and move on.
I have struggled with this decision, because you and this community mean so much to me, but here is the transition you can expect to see over the coming weeks and months.
Firstly, Life Without Baby won’t go away entirely. I plan to maintain the site as-is for the foreseeable future. You will still be able to find old posts and comments when you need to know someone else understands what you’re going through.
On April 10, the private community forum will close, but I will continue to post new posts on the blog until May 11, the day after Mother’s Day here is the U.S. My last post on that date will include links to what I think are the most helpful posts for different stages of this journey. After that, I will make some small adjustments to the site to make archived resources easy to find, but I won’t be writing new posts on a regular basis. The social media accounts on Facebook and Twitter will remain active for now.
I want to thank you for being with me on this journey. Many of you have written to say how much the site has helped you, but you should know that having you in my trusted community has been a huge help to me too.
I know several of you have followed me over into my fiction writing and I’m so pleased when I connect with someone from this community over there. Although I write stories about young adult women, the themes of lost dreams, grief, letting go, and finding strength find their way into my fiction work. If you’d like to stay connected, you can find me at LisaManterfield.com. I send out a monthly newsletter from there and am also active on Facebook, Instagram, and sometimes Twitter.
So, before I get over-emotional, I will sign off for now. I still have 15 more posts to write before May 11 and I hope to catch up with you in the comments.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of my world.
Lisa xxx

Lisa, I’m delighted for you to be moving forward with a new chapter and it does seem as though it is time. I have come to your blog only recently. Sadly I haven’t found a lot of support in some forums and never really found a place to tell my story as I would have liked to do.
It was lovely to be able to read your posts and feel understood and validated. Your fiction writing sounds amazing, I think it is fabulous to have those kinds of stories out there. It helps to counter what I sometimes think of as the “toxic positivity” that abounds, and which makes it difficult to move forward when life doesn’t give us what we thought it would.
Annette, despite the circumstances, I’m grateful you are here at LWB, trying to connect with other childless. There truly is a vibrant childless community out there, with many different ways to connect. I have 70+ links to various blogs, closed FB groups, websites, and more over at my blogsite. Here is the link, in case you’d like to check them out – http://notsomommy.com/resources/
Also, there are two different ways to share your story at Not So Mommy… If you are interested, please feel free to check out the “Our Stories” page and/or email me.
Hugs…
Thank YOU, Lisa, for all you’ve done for our community over the past decade. I don’t remember whether I found your blog or your book (“I’m Taking My Eggs & Going Home”) first, but it was so wonderful to find a kindred spirit writing so articulately about the same things I’d been through. All the very best to you & Mr. Fab as you enter this next stage… see you on social media, & I still hope we’ll meet someday! xo
loribeth,
You and Pamela were the first people I found online and I couldn’t believe someone else had been through what I’d been through. Thank you for you support over these years. I will check in often for puppy updates and hope that we can meet someday. 🙂
Lisa – thank you for all that you’ve done for our community, and for the friendship, support and camaraderie you’ve shown to me since the very first blog I posted on Gateway Women nine-years ago next month. You’ve contributed hugely to my life, and to the lives of countless involuntarily childless women around the world with your work and your kindness. I look forward to continuing to support you as a sister writer and one day I’ll catch up with the ‘novelist’ badge too! Hugs, blessings and thanks, Jody x
Jody,
Thank you for this. I too have appreciated getting to know you and having your support over the years. I’m not going away, just hopping lily pads, so to speak.
Hugs back to you. xxx
Oh, this made me smile & tear up! I found Life Without Baby when I began blogging about my own childless journey about 2 1/2 years ago. And though we have never met live and in person, I do feel I know you. I appreciate that I’ve been able to reach out to you via email, that we’ve been able to connect here at your blog and on social media. I especially appreciate that you display the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness ribbon that I created! You are truly an inspiration, Lisa. I wish you the best in this new chapter of your life, showing us all what it truly means to let go and move forward… So many HUGS!
Thank you, Brandi,
I am so glad to see your work out there. At the risk of making myself sound old (which I most certainly am not!) I consider you part of the new generation that is talking more and more openly and sharing your stories. Thank you for the work you do.
And this isn’t goodbye, not at all. No tears! 😉
Lisa xxx
Lisa, I also want to thank you for everything you have done. Your blog was one of the first I found when I thought to look for Life without Baby-type sites (along with Loribeth’s and Pamela’s) and began blogging myself. (I was about eight months behind you!) You’ve done a huge amount for the community, providing people with safe spaces to talk, to feel less alone, and begin to come out of the fog of grief.
I’m so thrilled that your new writing career is taking off – what an exciting chapter for the next half-century! Good luck and best wishes. And I’ll be following you on social media too.
And like Loribeth, once all this craziness in the world is over and we can travel again, I hope I get to meet you.
Mali,
Thank you. Your blog will be among the many trusted resources I’ll share in my closing post.
And yes, if we ever get to travel again, I hope our paths will cross int he future.
Happy trails,
Lisa xxx
Thank you for creating this space. It’s been such a healing experience knowing that I’m not alone and that by thoughts and feelings are mirrored by others. All the best for your coming adventures.
Thank you, Kristie. You are not alone, not at all. -x-
Best of luck in your new chapter and thank you for providing a place where I could learn how to move forward in my own life story.
Thank you and you are most welcome. -x-
It was exactly one year ago, right before my 40th birthday, that I read your book “I’m taking my eggs and going home” and realized that I’m not alone on this journey. That was the time I decided not to pursue IVF and instead accept this unexpected childless life. Your book changed my life! I felt like I connected to your story in so many ways and felt validated in my feelings and experiences. It was your book that led me to this blog. This community brought light and life back into my world when the darkness of grief consumed me. I want to say THANK YOU for everything you’ve done for all of us! This next chapter is going to be amazing for you!!
Janelle,
Thank you so much. I am so touched to know that my story helped you. In return I have felt connected to this community of amazing women in a way I could never have anticipated. So thank you to you too. -x-
Good luck in your new adventures, how exciting! Thank you so much for this space, and for your books. Life Without Baby was the book I read and journalled through while coming to grips with the possibility of resolving childfree after a hellish 8 year journey. I found it so helpful before, during, and after my transition into CNBC life. I love your voice and the Whiny Wednesdays, and while I am shamefully a bit of a lurker here I have so appreciated all you do for people at all stages of their infertility journeys. Can’t wait to see what’s next for you!
PS – as an 8th grade teacher, your fiction sounds AMAZING. My students benefit so much from reading stories that help them find resilience, and that aren’t just neat-and-tidy-everyone-gets-what-they-wanted-in-the-end type things. It’s so important for them to know that sometimes shit doesn’t work out, and that’s okay because you can find another way. So thanks for that!
Jess,
There are no rules against lurking here. We all take what we need when we need it. I’m glad it helped. 🙂
And you just made my day. My fiction isn’t neat and tidy, but as all of here know, neither is life!
Lisa -x-
Dear Lisa,
I have only just found Life Without Baby as I grapple with the realisation that I turn 50 this year and the prospect of me having a child seems to grow ever further away. I just haven’t found the right person, for various reasons I’ve not been able to form that much longed for stable relationship and get to the stage of even trying for a baby.
I was relieved to know there was somewhere I could go to find support and women who could understand my struggle.
I totally understand and fully support your reasons for needing to move on but I wonder if there is a way for the community to continue to stay in touch online? A transfer to facebook perhaps? It could be a lifeline for so many.
Best wishes for your future and thank you.
Alison