Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Three Things You Love About YOU

Valentine’s Day can be challenging, full of triggers and missed experiences and what-ifs. So as thoughts turn to love this week, I want to ask you the same question I ask every year around this time:

“What are three things you love about yourself?”

A friend asked me this once, and I was shocked to find myself stumbling over my answer. I couldn’t even name one thing.

I think many us (especially we women) were raised to be modest, not boastful. We often have no problem telling someone else what we admire in them, but can’t then turn the spotlight on ourselves. And even when we do, we can so often point out all the areas for improvement rather than the good things we see in ourselves.

Fortunately for me, my friend is persistent, and she wouldn’t let me off the hook. So here are three things I love about myself:

      1. I’m honest.
      2. I will always stick up for the underdog.
      3. I am not a quitter.

So I challenge you now. What are three things you love about yourself?

Three Things You Love About YOU

Valentine’s Day can be challenging, full of triggers and missed experiences and what-ifs. So as thoughts turn to love this week, I want to ask you the same question I ask every year around this time:

“What are three things you love about yourself?”

A friend asked me this once, and I was shocked to find myself stumbling over my answer. I couldn’t even name one thing.

I think many us (especially we women) were raised to be modest, not boastful. We often have no problem telling someone else what we admire in them, but can’t then turn the spotlight on ourselves. And even when we do, we can so often point out all the areas for improvement rather than the good things we see in ourselves.

Fortunately for me, my friend is persistent, and she wouldn’t let me off the hook. So here are three things I love about myself:

      1. I’m honest.
      2. I will always stick up for the underdog.
      3. I am not a quitter.

So I challenge you now. What are three things you love about yourself?

Three Things You Love About You

Bride in car with orange flowers

By Lisa Manterfield

Valentine’s Day can be challenging, full of triggers and missed experiences and what-ifs. So as thoughts turn to love this week, I want to ask you the same question I ask every year around this time:

“What are three things you love about yourself?”

A friend asked me this once, and I was shocked to find myself stumbling over my answer. I couldn’t even name one thing.

I think many us (especially we women) were raised to be modest, not boastful. We often have no problem telling someone else what we admire in them, but can’t then turn the spotlight on ourselves. And even when we do, we can so often point out all the areas for improvement rather than the good things we see in ourselves.

Fortunately for me, my friend is persistent, and she wouldn’t let me off the hook. So here are three things I love about myself:

      1. I’m honest.
      2. I will always stick up for the underdog.
      3. I am not a quitter.

So I challenge you now. What are three things you love about yourself?

It Got Me Thinking…About What’s My Worth?

By Kathleen Guthrie Woods

I’ve long been a L’Oréal customer, and I’ve appreciated the range of colors and ethnicities of their spokeswomen. So much of the fashion and beauty industries are focused on the very young and very skinny (and very white), to the point that it’s still refreshing to see new role models who look like me and my peers—and who look like who I aspire to be in coming decades. This sends a positive message to girls and women, I think, that beauty comes in all sizes, colors, shapes, and ages. Brava!

The slogan I’ve long associated with this brand is “Because I’m worth it,” and I’ve always loved that message of strength and self-confidence. Spokeswoman, Susan Sarandon is quoted as saying, “It had to do with women becoming the masters of their own lives and decisions,” and again I say Brava!

I continued to read the brief article, egged on by the teaser: “So what does being ‘Worth It’ mean to Sarandon?” I wanna know, I wanna know…oh, crapamole! “(Hint: it involves motherhood).”

I’ve spent the past several years trying to determine for myself what is my worth, especially as I’ve grieved and healed, and grieved and healed some more while struggling to make peace with being childfree by circumstances. I’ve done my best to embrace that I bring value to the lives around me by being a devoted friend, involved auntie, and contributing team member. I’d pretty much convinced myself that my life has meaning even though I haven’t fulfilled society’s expectation that the only role women should aspire to and revere is motherhood.

Having put so much hope into finding a positive and uplifting message that accepts and celebrates every woman, I felt deflated by Sarandon’s response (and the brand’s apparent endorsement). Again, I am put in the heart-wrenching, possibly defeatist position of having to ask myself: “Am I worth anything?”

So I need your help today. In the Comments, please share with me—with all of us—how you define your worth. Let’s compile a list that helps us remind ourselves that we have something to offer the world, that we have value, that we are worth it—whatever “it” means to us.

Kathleen Guthrie Woods is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She is mostly at peace with her childfree status.

 

Three Things You Love About You

Bride in car with orange flowers

By Lisa Manterfield

Valentine’s Day can be challenging, full of triggers and missed experiences and what-ifs. So as thoughts turn to love this week, let me ask you:

“What are three things you love about yourself?”

A friend asked me this recently, and I was shocked to find myself stumbling over my answer. I couldn’t even name one thing.

I think many us (especially we women) were raised to be modest, not boastful. We often have no problem telling someone else what we admire in them, but can’t then turn the spotlight on ourselves. And even when we do, we can so often point out all the areas for improvement rather than the good things we see in ourselves.

Fortunately for me, my friend is persistent, and she wouldn’t let me off the hook. So here are three things I love about myself:

      1. I’m honest.
      2. I will always stick up for the underdog.
      3. I am not a quitter.

So I challenge you now. What are three things you love about yourself?