Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Contact

Whiny Wednesday

October 8, 2014

Whiny_WednesdayWhen a reader suggested this week’s topic, I spotted myself immediately. The topic is:

Staying busy to fill the hole of being childless

Work, hobbies, school, projects, friends in need, volunteering: Have you packed your life with busyness in order to fill a gap?

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s on your mind today?

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: child-free living, childfree-not-by-choice, childless not by choice, coming to terms, fb, grief, healing, life without baby, Whine, whiny wednesday

Comments

  1. Kristine says

    October 8, 2014 at 8:11 am

    I”m a Zumba instructor… Not instructing at this time -( quit during my last failed IVF attempt.) so now I will soon be looking for another job – but that takes up a good deal of time. Between finding new music and choreographing new songs I find I stay busy.
    Kristine

  2. HAT says

    October 8, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Yes I started by making quilts for my sisters kids, and now I am trying to sell quilts and custom made bags. Being just slightly creative and able to sew in a straight line I have been able to create these kids of my own that I can then share with others who will love them and use them well.

  3. Jenn says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:40 am

    I scrapbook, make cards and home decor. I also volunteer with animal rescue. I do find it hard to be a member of scrapbook message boards since there is always so much baby and pregnancy talk on them,

  4. Mali says

    October 8, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    I’ve seen a lot of women panic. “What am I going to do if I don’t have children?” they ask. And a few years later, they realise that they might not have come up with something big to replace the children they don’t have, but that their lives are full and busy nonetheless. I have loved having the time to contemplate, to blog, to volunteer, and to travel. I don’t think I have specifically looked for something to fill the hole … or maybe I have … and that’s a blogpost I’ve been thinking about writing for a while. Hmmmm … you got me thinking …

  5. Irisd says

    October 8, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    I started a new job, and I am sooooooo busy that I find myself wondering how I could ever manage doing what I do with small children to care for.

  6. Amber says

    October 9, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    I’m just beginning the whole transition/realization that we will, in fact, be living a childless life…so I’m kind of lost as to how to fill my time. I was a preschool teacher, but gave it up last summer. Maybe a career change? Volunteer work at nursing home? Especially since my husband and I will be alone when we are old….

  7. Amel says

    October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am

    In the past, I did feel a HUGE pressure to fill the hole that childlessness left me with something big and noble. I think I felt that pressure because many people suggested adoption when they found out about our problems in getting pregnant. As if I ought to try to be like Mother Teresa or something if I can’t have my own children. But for the life of me, I couldn’t find any single one big thing to fill up the hole. So I put that on hold and shut up those voices as I started walking along my very bumpy healing journey.

    As time went by, bit by bit I started finding more joys in my life again after all the grief/pain of not having our own children. First I focused on small things in life and then I try to incorporate other fun things that I didn’t do much before (like making snowmen in winter and taking more nature photos) and I went back to reclaiming the things I used to enjoy before TTC and infertility, joining a childless-not-by-choice forum and a writing/photography challenge group.

    Nowadays I think I feel I have nothing to prove to anyone. If they think I have so much time in my life and my life is simpler than theirs, so be it. If they think my life is missing something, so be it. I feel content with our life as two. The hole is still there, but the distance between myself and the pain is now quite far that the hole and the thought of the hole’s existence doesn’t consume me like it did in the past. I like having the chance to find balance in my life so that I have time for myself, time for others, time to travel and time to blog and connect with other people, time to learn whatever I want to learn without feeling any pressure.

  8. Butterfly says

    October 10, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Amel, you said it all, thank you for that wonerful post. I have read it several times, I so agree with you!

START THRIVING NOW

WorkBook4_3D1 LISA BUY THE BOOK BUTTON

Categories

  • Cheroes
  • Childfree by Choice
  • Childless Not By Choice
  • Children
  • Current Affairs
  • Family and Friends
  • Fun Stuff
  • Guest Bloggers
  • Health
  • Infertility and Loss
  • It Got Me Thinking…
  • Lucky Dip
  • Maybe Baby, Maybe Not
  • Our Stories
  • Published Articles by Lisa
  • Story Power
  • The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes
  • Uncovering Grief
  • Whiny Wednesdays
  • With Eyes of Faith
  • You Are Not Alone

READ LISA’S AWARD WINNING BOOK

Lisa Front cover-hi

~ "a raw, transparent account of the gut-wrenching journey of infertility."

~ "a welcome sanity check for women left to wonder how society became so fixated on motherhood."

read more ->

LISA BUY THE BOOK BUTTON

HELPFUL POSTS

If you're new here, you might want to check out these posts:

  • How to Being Happily Childfree in 10,000 Easy Steps
  • Friends Who Say the Right Thing
  • Feeling Cheated
  • The Sliding Scale of Coming-to-Terms
  • Hope vs. Acceptance
  • All the Single Ladies
  • Don't Ignore...the Life Without Baby Option

Readers Recommend

Find more great book recommendations here ->

Copyright © 2025 Life Without Baby · Privacy Policy · Cookie Policy · Designed by Pink Bubble Gum Websites