Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayThis week’s suggested Whiny Wednesday topic is thought-provoking:

Fearing the quiet we will have for years

How do you feel about this? Is it something you worry about? If not, what is on your mind this week?

Comments

  1. I am a quiet person, and so is my husband, but I am painfully aware of how quiet our house is every day. I expected our house would sound alive with our family, the quiet is a painful reminder it will never be. The one thing I tell myself is that my siblings have experienced the same when their children became teenagers and were never home, when their kids went away to college, and when their kids moved away for jobs, the military or marriage. Eventually, we have to learn to live with the quiet. I try to use my experience in dealing with it to help others when they start going through the pain of empty nest syndrome.

  2. I don’t mind the quiet because I’m so used to it. I enjoy my quiet house most of the time and anytime I question it, I just have to remember visiting certain relatives with children and the migraine that usually follows. It is then that I realize my quiet house is not so bad. I do fear the loneliness of old age but even many people with children experience loneliness later in life. Empty nesters are so used to the hustle and bustle of raising children that when everyone leaves, couples don’t always know how to reconnect in the quiet times.

  3. The only time I feel the quiet is on the weekend and on holidays when we have nothing planned. Then it dawns on me what we are facing as we grow older. There will be no grandkids running around, no 1st Christmas, birthdays, etc…..Durning the week we are so busy I don’t have time to think about it, but I can’t stay busy 24/7, and most people look forward to retirement but it thought terrifies me although.

  4. My house is rarely quiet because I have the radio on (interesting interviews) or music on almost all the time! I know what you mean, but it doesn’t worry me. I’m so used to it now, I much prefer the peace and quiet of our house when everyone goes home. Yes, occasionally I might feel that it’s a little too quiet when I have the windows open and hear the children next door playing out in their garden, but that is very rare. I actually love having time to myself – I’m home alone right now, and it’s good. And I hope that by the time I am old, I will have networks and support systems that will ensure my home is only quiet when I want it to be.

  5. I actually prefer the quiet at home because where I work is so noisy. I’m a pretty quiet person and find the silence relaxing. I’m sure if I was able to have kids I’d love the noise.

  6. I also enjoy the quiet, and I am used to it. I spend time with friends and their kids, and it honestly makes me value the quiet of my home more, the ability to watch a movie when I’m not busy working, or to read a book, or listen to an audio book or interview, as Mali pointed to above. But, that is different from feeling socially isolated, from perhaps not having someone to spend time with when you have free time, from not having a strong infrastructure of support in case of illness. I read an interview a while ago by the author Diana Athill and her reflections on her life. She never married and had no children. I don’t remember word for word, but she made a statement after she had moved in to an assisted living facility in her 90s, that she had spent a lot of time worrying about being alone, only to realize that she actually quite liked herself… it seems she found herself to be good company. I hope that we can all worry a lot less, and enjoy the now a bit more!

  7. Interesting question. I’m more used to the quietness after moving to a little village in Finland. I love my quiet moments.

    I second what Mali said. I also hope to build enough network for myself as a support system, because half of my family is far away in Indonesia and other than my husband and his relatives, I have nobody here. However, I think it’s possible to build a network after seeing my MIL (who now lives alone after FIL passed away last year), but I know I need to be active as well in trying to build the network.