When a reader suggested this week’s topic, I spotted myself immediately. The topic is:
Staying busy to fill the hole of being childless
Work, hobbies, school, projects, friends in need, volunteering: Have you packed your life with busyness in order to fill a gap?
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s on your mind today?
I would love to be able to just ‘stop and smell the roses’ but if I have much down time, my friends grief and depression come to visit. This time of year is particularly difficult so I feel like I have to always be going somewhere or doing something. I pray there will come a day when I can be at ease with just being in the present moment.
I think about this a lot. Although I don’t categorize in terms of staying busy, but of putting things in my life to distract me from our childless status and the decisions that invariably go with it. These things in my life are awesome, and I love them and would have hoped to continue with them if we managed to add a kid to the mix. But right now they are distractions, they keep my mind off our circumstance and put off dealing with it. They also distract others. If someone asks about children, I can launch into a more interesting (to me) discussion. Are distractions it healthy? I haven’t decided yet. But they do have a purpose.
I have Zumba, Dance, the gym (I almost live in the gym)… Yes I take on more projects than need be. I do think it is a distraction. I sometimes get very upset at how quiet it is in my house. When I am home alone the TV is on or I have Cd’s in the CD player – another distraction.
I get so mad at my boyfriend when he says ” I know you want a baby but get a hobby for right now” I don’t want a hobby! I want a reason to get up in the morning! I want a challenge, a hug,some one to need me. I’m not ready to let go.