One of the earliest posts I wrote here was about the trend at the time in baby doll tops that, on me, looked like maternity wear. Recently I’ve noticed empire waists back in the stores, which have much the same effect.
A reader offered this Whiny Wednesday topic about shopping for new clothes. Her whine is:
“The need to go shopping for new clothes and trying to find something I feel good in vs. something I think screams ‘infertile and has a poor sense of style.’”
She may not have a great sense of style, but at least she has a great sense of humor.
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What can you laugh about this week?
Humm clothing and sense of humor…Lets see I dont care about clothing not making me look “infertile” I just want clothing that does not make me look “old” I try going in the buff but people bring out an iron because they say it is all wrinkled…so I gotta get something high neckline (lately have learned to add turtleneck underneath or else show old age cleveage) not to worry about showing cleveage just worried about showing my Money stash that I keep there.
As for pants…well tights, leggings etc shows all the buldges and layers so I gotta go with something loose so I can eat more and not feel like I have gained a ton
and yes I wear “thongs” They go on my feet…
So there you have it from the 60+ crowd
I’m not big on caring if my clothes are in style. I’m a jeans and t shirt kind of girl anyways. Most of my shirts are shirts from our travels…to show off how much I travel because I have money to do that because I don’t have to spend my money on kids.
Shirts from Europe and Hawai’i get the most comments.
“Have you really been to Paris…Hawai’i…Berlin…?”
“Yes I have. Have you?”
Ha I know all about ‘fertile’ clothes; not sure about infertile ones. In my angry days whilst having fertility treatment I stopped wearing Fat Face because all the middle-aged mums in my town were wearing it: FF tunics hide baby fat well, I think. I turned up for work one day and one of the multitudes of pregnant women had the exact same empire-line Fat Face tunic on as me. That brand suddenly came to represent ‘mumsy’ to me. My reasoning at the time was: Why should I look like a frumpy mum when I’ll never be one? So not exactly a fear of looking infertile.
White Stuff is another brand I associate with looking mumsy. I know that’s a dirty word amongst mothers these days – considered a bit anti-feminist – so I’m sorry (not sorry).
Not clothing related, just Whiny Wednesday….
What is UP with every single recipe being “kid friendly”? Or lists of “fun” snacks with food cut up to look like animals? Really? Everytime I turn around and see a fun list of recipes, it’s usually followed by “for kids”.
So what, the rest of us don’t eat?
The End.
Yep I understand…do they not realize my Kid is 64 years old although i have thought about getting hin the dinasaur shaped cookies…
I also hate everything for a family of 4-6
People tell me to shop at Sams you get more for your money to which I am sure you do but unless it is paper goods it will set in the freezer & get freezer burn before we are able to consume the entire package
Lol – this feels like a “come as you are” Whiny Wednesday, and bring anything to the table (love it), so here goes…
I may not be in the “exclusive mommy club”, but thanks to numerous infertility treatments I LOOK like I’ve given birth to twins. Yep – I got the belly bulge, the extra twenty pounds, and a nice fat bill to go along with it. Woo hoo! Couple this with my being 46 and it’s clear that I have my work cut out for me if I am to feel fabulous about myself, and more importantly, if I am “appear” young and thin in public.
Therefore, I have worked hard to put together a wardrobe for myself that I like to refer to as “NYC chic” (good that I live in NYC – blend right in) consisting of black tops, black skirts, black dresses, black pants..some of which have minor patterns on them when I’m feeling bright and playful. My shoes, on the otherhand, are usually colorful, as my feet survived the IVF treatments unscathed – thank goodness! White is a four letter word in my closet; in fact, few colors are welcome there. I may have something navy or burgundy, but these articles of clothing are very elusive.
This style has worked well for me so far. And if all else fails, I wrap myself up in a nice thick layer of denial, order yet another outfit online and reach for the ice cream.
It’s all good.
I found myself wearing a lot of black too, or dark clothes in general. I am short so these colors make me look tall and thin. I have a belly bulge from all the infertility treatments i’m desperate to get rid of because I do think some clothes make me look like i’m prego. Dark colors seem to hide some of that. I also feel like dark clothes can look stylish and classic so that helps too. I like your idea of colorful stylish shoes though 🙂 times to go shopping and express my creative self with new shoes.
Yes, I find that colorful shoes, scarves, jewelry and other accessories help me not look like I’m in mourning all the time. 🙂
On this topic, I did notice that when I was in those throws of early grief it really took a hit on my self esteem. I was always conscious of my appearance and liking being a girl, to fuss with my hair, makeup etc. but in grief, I could care less. It was so unimportant at that time. So slowly I have been trying to reclaim so to speak a fashion sense, and even try new styles.
On another note since it is whiny Wednesday, I was thinking about the post about how people should respond to others in grief. We just put to sleep our golden retriever of 11 years, are only pet, and I got her specifically because of infertility. A friend of mine nieces died right at the same time, and I found myself comparing my grief to hers, and feeling like MaryJo our dogs name per was so much less tha her niece. But any pet owner knows, it really has been very sad, and the grief is fresh and intense. Most the people close to unshaven been awesome. But we went out with people last night Nd they were asking how old was she? She was a big dog, they don’t live as long? Again all true , but so unhelpful. It is all coming back to me, that people are uncomfortable with those feelings, or try to keep the stiff upper lip. Anyways it was a good reminder, of what Kathy Guthrie was saying, was not to judge or minimize listen with compassion no understanding. Thanks for letting me share my week. Hugs to everyone!
My beloved dog died over 20 years ago and I still have regular vivid dreams about her, and crave seeing her. My mum died around the same time but I don’t really have the same feelings on a regular basis about her. So there you go. I would only say that to a fellow dog lover though! Dogs are bloody amazing.
There was a recent study by Japanese scientists that showed that when a dog looks at his human, his oxytocin levels increase. When a person looks at her dog, her oxytocin levels increase. It seems to be a quirk of canine evolution as they showed it did not work with wolves. It is unique for humans and dogs to have a true chemical bond across species. So essentially, we chemically bond with our dogs and they with us in the same way we would have with children.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. It helps when I want to think, why. Am I still sad, now along with other reasons I know why. My dog was quirky, but loved all people. I had a cat before and I felt bonded to her also. Plus, I am not a specialist in letting go, I get there but it takes time!
Thanks so much for your sharing it really helps. I am glad to hear about the vivid dreams, it’s hard out think of her when she was well, but we do have lots of pictures which helps. That unconditional love is probably one of the reasons it so tough! My. Husband said the same thing, he said , he did not feel the same way when his dad died! Dogs are amazing!
Body and clothes… I don’t think I look pregnant, but I do look as if I have given birth a few times. 12 kilos too much in weight and sooo our of shape.
I have the day off today and am out shopping for clothes fora wedding I’m invited to on Saturday. I just found a dress and bought it and it isn’t at all what I was looking for.
I wanted something with a long skirt, that would hide my legs and draw attention to the beautifully patterned fabric.
Instead I found a bright red (yes, for a wedding) dress that’s tight and shows it all.
I wish it was Sunday and all over.
completely different whine, and not new at all… colleagues who work part time because they also look after kids – both men and women. I understand that it’s hard to juggle things but I’ve come to hate the way those people just constantly seek attention and appreciation for their struggles – and actually getting it. While I get none, simple as that.
Yesterday (yes, saturday) we had a meeting in the morning and someone asked my boss (male) whether he had been at the office on friday. He proudly (!) said no: he doesn’t work on fridays; “yes well I worked elsewhere”. Oh so lovely. A modern man, works part time and looks after the children on thursdays and fridays. shouldn’t we appreciate this as valid and important work? Yes we should. Then he went on “let me think. what did I do on friday? oh yeah. I passed the hoover. Then I did the dishes. The kids were between my legs all the time There was lots of work”.
And there is me sitting there on a saturday morning at what is for me, accepted as work. And thinking that later on, yes, I need to the shops, and pass the hoover, and tidy away my things. Because the fridge is empty and a friend will come to visit and I should clean out the fridge actually because I haven’t done that in a long time.
And nobody ever will admire me for doing that or let me call it “work”, because I don’t do it for a family.