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Whiny Wednesday: Missing Out on Parenting Milestones

July 12, 2017

Graduation season is upon us and social media has been abuzz with snapshots of proud parents and their offspring. So it seems like a good time for this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic:

Feeling left out when friends and relatives celebrate the milestones of being parents and grandparents.


As always, your other whines are always welcome.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Children, Family and Friends, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: child-free living, childfree, childfree-not-by-choice, childless, childless not by choice, children, Community, family, fb, friends, graduation, grandparents, holidays, jealousy, life without baby, loss, milestones, mother, Society, Whine, whiny wednesday

Comments

  1. Kara says

    July 12, 2017 at 6:56 am

    I felt that way on July 4th….why does every holiday have to have a touch of sadness?

    • Almira says

      July 12, 2017 at 7:47 am

      I agree .. July 4th, birthdays, other milestones .. everything .. wish we had pure happiness without having to see others experience what we don’t have .. i know I shouldn’t be focused on others and focus on myself .. but it is really tough not to notice what’s going on around me .. sighs*

    • Marci says

      July 12, 2017 at 7:32 pm

      I know what you mean. The 4th is rough for me. It used to be a big holiday celebrated at my grandma’s house. I now live in that house. Flood of memories every time and it just sucks.

      I am actually glad they banned fireworks in this city. Not because I care about the safety of the environment around me, but because I don’t have to deal with all the kids. Kind of a ‘ha-ha, you don’t get to either’. How screwed up is that??

      • Jennifer Smart says

        July 13, 2017 at 11:58 am

        Not so screwed up that one cannot relate.

  2. Kerry says

    July 12, 2017 at 7:47 am

    How do we begin to create our own social moments, not as individuals, but as a community of childless/child-free adults? Where are our cards say, that aren’t some kind of ‘sympathy’ cards? Where are our events/social calender [outside of closed workshops and the occasional conference] Events which families might want to come along and join our ‘world’ for a while? Sorry, I have no answers yet.

    • Kara says

      July 13, 2017 at 7:50 am

      My husband and I travel as our Plan B and we post pictures during our trips and after our trips and countdowns with pictures of places we are going before the trips.

      Our trips are our “hey look what we get to do because we have money to do it and not spend money on kids” in your face.

      Some friends like it, some think it is mean. Those that think it is mean are the ones that post endless pictures of their kids on social media.

      • Almira says

        July 13, 2017 at 8:22 am

        Nice! I’m planning to do that too!

  3. MJ says

    July 12, 2017 at 8:08 am

    I hate the first birthday cake smash tradition! When did this become a thing? It seems to coincide with the growth of social media – one more thing to show off!! I recently saw a picture of a beautiful giant cupcake that used for a cake smash. I can’t imagine what that would have cost. The waste of food and money is so ridiculous.

  4. Jennifer says

    July 12, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    I’m so over these over the top gender reveal parties people seem to be doing now. Got and invitation for one in the mail with a registry link. Also not really a milestone, but annoyed since it just happened. We have a local candidate go door to door tonight because he’s running in the next election and top of his mentions was he’s a parent like us in this area and wants to make it the best for everyone (guy do your research I know I live in an area full of families, but not everyone has kids, we bought thinking we’d be able to have them)

  5. Analia says

    July 13, 2017 at 9:51 am

    A friend of mine is going through her “empty nest” time in her life. Her older son is going to College, to another state.

    She told me: …the empty nest… you know…
    And I answer: nope, I do not know. I wish I could know !
    She changed the subject.
    well, that’s how it goes…
    I keep on praying for all of us. It is a pleasure to be in this blog.

  6. Lilah says

    July 13, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    Not sure if this is a “parental milestone”. I”m whining about missing out on pregnancy. The benefits my body changing, feeling little feet kicking inside, hormone changes, having that “glow”. Shopping for cute maternity clothes, being the center of attention, feeling a contraction pain, deciding on a delivery method, being able to plan my Baby Shower… The list goes on.

    Ughhh. I just want to scream. At this point I’m just tired of having a period. I’m basically bleeding for nothing. I know the body has to shed. But I don’t need to ovulate or at least feel like I am. For once I want that blood to be used to nourish my baby, not on tampons. I’m sorry ladies if this is too explicit. But I’m hurt and needed to vent a little.

    • Dee says

      July 16, 2017 at 11:59 pm

      Totally get you!!!!! Glad you had the courage to say it!

  7. Nita Bourland says

    July 14, 2017 at 5:12 am

    We miss out on so much but now that I am older and my husband passed this year I really feel the missing out of someone to help me out, mowing the lawn by myself, Holidays alone,
    I cry as I think about Christmas this year…oh yes i may have some place to go but excuse me…Christmas was about US so who will shop for me? Who do I give my Christmas list to?
    Missing out is more than just the special occasions but its the little thing as you age…the phone calls, the coming back home occasionally.
    Many will say “Oh I dont see my kids much”
    I say “But do you ever see them?”
    Some days the mailman is my only one I talk to

    • Jane P (UK) says

      July 17, 2017 at 4:31 am

      I’m so sorry Nita – a very difficult time ahead for you. I too worry about when my husband or I are left alone. I’m getting through life with the 2 of us because my husband is a source of strength and companionship. What either of us will do without the other scares me so much. Without my husband I too would feel utterly alone and yes, this is where a call from the son or daughter – just knowing they are there would make a huge difference. Again our society does not appreciate the extent of our losses when we live with infertility. So sorry again and thinking of you.

  8. Cath says

    July 14, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    Here is my totally unrelated whine of the week:
    Beyonce and her ridiculous glorification of motherhood!! Like the tacky floral themed pregnancy announcement wasn’t enough, now she has to do another equally tacky one of her holding the twins?? They are beautiful babies and I wish her and her family all the best but I just find this sort of thing beyond the pale. These photos coupled with that ridiculous performance she did while pregnant (I can’t remember what award show it was) are just too much. You would think someone who has suffered pregnancy loss herself would think twice before placing pregnancy/motherhood on such an absurd and unrealistic pedestal. I normally really admire her to be honest but when it comes to her and anything procreation it really rubs me the wrong way.

  9. ElleVee says

    July 16, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    My idiotic boss didn’t have her kids over the 4th of July since her parents took them to Hawaii. She said she didn’t know what she and her husband would do with themselves while the kids were away. With feigned concern I said ‘I hope you two figure it out!’ Newsflash: my entire life is figuring out Plan B without kids!!! The insensitivity is staggering.

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