By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
If you’re in the U.S., you just got through or are in the midst of one of our biggest “family” holidays of the year. Feeling thankful? Yeah, me neither.
We’ve officially kicked off the holiday season—yes, a whole miserable season—that often feels like a series of slaps across the face for those of us who are childless-not-by-choice: the pageants with the impossibly adorable miniature angels, the onslaught of family photo cards and newsy letters, those awfully festive reunions that bring together multiple generations (and unwanted questions), the traditions we’ll never get to share, every little slight and hurt that reminds us of what we wanted and didn’t get to have. I’m all wrung out just from the anticipation!
But this year I have a plan for how I can get through the next several weeks with a bit of calm and brightness. In my schedule, between the shoulds and the musts, I am going to book out some time for myself. I am going to prepare now to welcome a most special guest into my home for the holidays: Me.
Think about it. If your dearest friend was coming to stay, how would you treat her? I might:
- Fluff up the pillows on the bed and add a cozy throw blanket.
- Arrange fresh flowers on the nightstand.
- Pull out the “nice” towels, then pour out some of those fancy bath salts I’ve been saving for a long, soothing soak.
- Place a couple of chocolates on her pillow at bedtime, and warm her PJs in the dryer just before she slips them on.
- Serve her breakfast in bed—it can be as simple as tea and a muffin served on the special occasion china and presented on a tray.
How might you treat your most honored guest? Share your ideas in the Comments, then let’s commit to creating a true bit of holiday for ourselves.
If you’re struggling this holiday season, I encourage you to explore the Life Without Baby site for resources. Check out the Forums and Groups, reach out to others through Comments, or pick up some of the recommended Books. We may not be able to guarantee merriment, but we can offer compassion.
Enjoying chocolate!!!!
I love this idea. I’ve often said to women going through grief (after I learnt the painful lesson) that we should treat ourselves as well as we would treat our friends – usually though when I’m talking about the voices in our head, and what we say to ourselves.
You’ve named the main things I’d do. Perhaps get some indulgent magazines, or her favourite books, or movies? Put on some nice music, a scented candle or those fragrance sticks (preferably lemongrass) in the bathroom. Wine, chocolates, and I’d see if she wanted to go get a massage with me!
The massage sounds like a divine idea! 🙂
spa day at home – wear a beauty mask, get my nails done at home as a fun activity. pamper myself really