By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
I had recently confided in a close friend about a truly difficult and painful situation I was in.
“How are you?” she asked in a follow-up email.
“How am I? I’m so angry I could scream!” I replied. “I cannot believe I’m having to deal with ONE.MORE.THING!”
“Do you want me to scream with you?”
I laughed out loud at her response. Then I thought, What a brilliant idea!
And I may take her up on her offer, as I sense she, I, and we all could use a seriously outrageous yelling session as we vent the anger, frustration, disappointment, shame, pain, and unfairness of the unique challenges we’ve each been facing.
And then I thought a bit deeper about how lucky I am to have such an understanding friend who, even though she’s not in the same pickle I’m in, is willing to get into the fray with me and yell it out until I feel better.
When life hands me particularly sour lemons, I try to look for the potential for lemonade. What is God/the Universe/Life trying to tell me? I wonder. Perhaps:
- Slow down.
- Reprioritize you to do’s, your must do’s, your…oh, heck, toss the whole list!
- Take care of yourself first.
- It’s time to remove the toxic people in your life.
- Focus on the good that surrounds you.
I found a bit of good this week when I recognized the gift of my yelling-ready friend—as well as the support I’ve received in our community along this often frustrating and soul-crushing LWB journey.
Do you have a friend who will scream with you when things are beyond frustrating, who will cry with you when life’s hurts become unbearable, and who will celebrate with you when things look up? If not, maybe the message we need to hear today is It’s time to find those friends and nurture those relationships.
It’s a message I’m taking to heart.
A timely topic for me. I am at a similar point right now. The situation is complicated and very stressful and consuming. I go from being very calm and businesdlike in my approach to dealing with it, which helps, but the emotional part of it flares up and then I am seething and raging. (Last night I had a severe urge to break the glass of a curio cabinet.)
What I did recognize a couple of weeks ago, was that because I had so many competing priorities, I wasn’t handling any of them well, which was contributing to the problem, so I made the conscious decision to prioritize. It was not easy, because there are going to be consequences for this decision for me financially and professionally, but if I don’t get the big issue resolved, things will be much worse. I do have a friend who is basically my coach at this point. She isn’t screaming with me, but she is keeping me on point to keep moving forward. And for that I am very grateful.
Marci, I can so relate to the urge to break glass. Glad you have a friend/coach to support you through this. Be gentle with yourself. xoxo
I wish I could find such a sensitive and compassionate friend:
“Do you want me to scream with you?” Love it !!!
I don’t have that friend. But I try to BE that friend.
HOW do you go about finding those kind of friends? I feel so isolated and alone with my feelings and no one, no where to turn to in my life, save for sites like these….
Hi, Sara. I don’t have an easy answer for your question. The friend I wrote about here is someone I met in college, and I am very lucky that she has been so kind and compassionate through all the chapters of our lives.
I will say that many of my newer friends in life are also childless, and we have tended to gravitate to each other. We’re the ones who stay late at weddings because we don’t have to rush home to relieve the babysitter. We sometimes find each other at cocktail parties when everyone else is talking about their kids. And a few women have heard me tell my story, then they quietly shared theirs, and we went from there.
It takes time, so for now, I hope you’ll continue to stay connected here for support and encouragement.
Anyone else have suggestions on how to meet supportive friends?
Sending out extra love to everyone tonight.
This is so relate-able. . Screaming and breaking the glass type emotions!
I recently got my jaw line disturbed because of the stress I gave on to it while crying on my own. Its making cracking sounds now while eating and it takes a second to settle when I try to open and close my mouth.
All in the same boat! More power and strength to all.