This morning, a close friend sent me Kyran Pittman’s blog posting “Advice for a Teenage Daughter I Will Never Have.” It got me thinking.
I used to fantasize about how I’d raise my children to be good humans. Along with my DNA, I’d share with them my passion for reading and love of team sports. I’d encourage them to invest a portion of each check from their summer life-guarding and part-time retail jobs, so that after college they’d already have a nest egg that would allow them to pursue careers in the arts, backpack through Asia, get into the housing market, or at least not starve while toiling away as a junior executive’s junior assistant.
I’m a font of wisdom earned from 44 years of life experience. Now, it seems, because I’m not a mother, no one is interested in hearing from me. Do you feel that way? If you had children, what advice would you give them? And since you don’t, what advice are you now taking to heart for yourself?
Kathleen Guthrie is a Northern California–based freelance writer. Her articles have appeared in AAA’s Westways, GRIT, Real Simple, and 805 Living magazines. Read “How to Be the World’s Best Aunt Ever” on eHow.com.
Advice for a Teenage Daughter I Will Never Have…
Masturbate a lot
Don’t save yourself for marriage
Eat a burger on the first date
Only have sex if he is STD free and you have both been tested…I know this one is a little hard to do but you will thank me in 20 years
ALWAYS use a condom
Don’t fake an orgasm
If he does not let you have an orgasm first…dump him
Be in control of your sex life
If your best friend gets with your man don’t speak to her again and introduce him to the curb! You are worth way more and she knows it
Get your Masters Degree
Be a leader
Give back to your community even if it is just $20 a month
Get your Roth IRA started ASAP
Get your nails done
Get your Will and other documents done once you turn 18
Marry the person who makes you number 1 and who you can’t live without
Have a long courtship and a short engagement
Plan for the marriage and not the wedding
Only get married if you both agree on children, money, your careers and where you want to live
Plus, talk about how much debt you are both in before the engagement
Be a foreword thinker
Be the boss
Give compliments
Be grateful
Be happy
Pray
Think before you speak
Take an etiquette class
Stay out of the sun
Smile
Go to the prom
Remember you are in charge of your life…so if you don’t like it…you ALWAYS have the power to change it!
Good luck!
Love this list.
Hi Kathleen,
As women without children, sometimes I think others don’t always put credence in what we have to offer in regard to advice to children. I appreciated you sharing Kyran’s advice. It inspired me.
I think “Aunties” can often times be overlooked for their great insight into child-rearing. I kids have an Aunt that has a Doctorate in psychology & to watch her interact with them teaches me different ways to speak or play w/ my kids that I would not get from other tired Moms that I’m surrounded by. Knowing you, Kathleen, I can’t really imagine that anyone of your friends w/ kids would not want your insight. Because you are childless does not mean you’ve got ZERO parenting skills. If you had children, you’d still be the wonderful person that you are today. Just busier & more tired.
Christine — your list rocks! There’s good advice for all of us. Celeste — you bring up a great point. How are we “parenting” the children who are in our lives? Can “aunt” be a verb?
Thanks for the positive feedback to my list!
I LOVE this idea. How many of us have hard-won advice we can’t pass to our immediate descendants? Thanks for the shout out, and for taking the ball and SPRINTING with it!