I always thought one of the fun things about having biological children would be looking for family traits. I always wondered which of my relatives my children would look like and who they’d take after.
For example, my niece has the Baker Chin. It’s the same little pointy chin my Grandma Baker had, as well as my mum’s younger sister. None of us kids have it, but it popped up in my niece. My mum (and I’m sure she won’t mind me telling you this!) has a funny shaped head. She has a large frontal lobe (full of math brains) and a rounded protrusion at the back. She can never get a hat to fit. One of my nephews has exactly the same shaped head. I get my math skills from my mother; my brother gets his “life of the party” personality from my grandfather, and my older brother is a dead-ringer for my dad. Line up my uncle, brother, and two of my cousins (each from a different aunt) and they all look like peas in a pod. It’s uncanny.
I’m a bit of a Mr. Potato Head of all my relatives from both sides of the family. I have my mum’s smile and bony ankles and my dad’s eyes and the funny blip on the end of his nose. I look like both my brothers, half my cousins, and at least one of my nieces, so I’ve often wondered which traits my children would have inherited from me and which of my family’s characteristics would have popped up.
I’m sure some of this wondering comes from vanity, and the hope that I’d reproduce a mini replica of myself, but much of it is also scientific curiosity. It’s fascinating to watch genetics in action and it would have been fun to see which long-dormant trait came up in my kids.
I was hoping our children would have my husband’s hair – nice, thick and curly – and my nose. He has a very Roman nose, I have a little Irish one. It is fascinating to see whose genes win out. My husband takes after his mother in most ways, but his brothers are little clones of their dad. What I think is really cool is when a trait skips a generation.
Genes are weird. My beautiful niece gets her bright red hair from her great grandparents, but her cystic fibrosis comes from both parents. It was something I never thought about, but could have passed on. My sister now carries that burden.
Yes, it’s not just great hair and funny noses that get passed on. I have met a couple of women who have hereditary diseases in their families and have chosen not to risk handing them down. It’s a heartbreaking decision.