Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday

I was thinking that maybe we wouldn’t need Whiny Wednesday, what with it being the happy holiday season and all that. But I’m a realist at heart, so here it is.

Happy Whiny Wednesday to you!

Comments

  1. First holiday since I found out I can’t have children and I got three DVDs from mom….
    “Call the Midwife” BBC series (season one)
    “Odd Life of Timothy Green”
    one of those Duggars series.

    Really?! Stinky timing, mom.

    • Oh boy….. just a few days ago on NPR they had a program on “Call the Midwife”. I kept thinking it sounded so interesting and well done (nuns and other women going into the poorest parts of London to render such an essential service), and then I thought how much a damper being cnbc puts on enjoying something that would otherwise probably be so very interesting.

  2. My MIL showed up for Christmas Day with a cold. I don’t mind that so much, but she could have chosen not to hug and kiss everyone. I’m going to be seriously pissed if I come down with a cold in a couple of days.

    • My mom wanted us to start celebrating already on the 21st. She had a terrible cold that day and of course hugged and kissed everyone. Since then I’ve had the same cold and probably also passed it on to a couple of people… 🙂

      • My mom also came down with a cold. She didn’t make it to our holiday celebrations and has told me not to come see her till she is better so I won’t get sick… I really miss her though.

  3. Yeah, lots to whine about after getting together with extended family for the holidays – especially the pregnant cousin and all the requests to “see her belly” before she even took off her coat. It’s enough to make you want to run screaming out the door.

  4. Last night, my sister announced during dinner that a woman we know in her 40s who is pregnant with IVF twins had a heart attack and was in ICU. I was upset for the rest of the night. My husband’s mother died 40 years ago from a similar complication while she was giving birth to his brother. Then I found out this morning that the friend did NOT have a heart attack. She was admitted for observation for 2 days but was released this morning and was fine. My sister loves to exaggerate and cause drama but I couldn’t believe she would do that on a subject so painful to my husband. Especially on Christmas. Happy holidays!

  5. I have new cousins that just moved to the U.S. and are staying with my parents for a while till they settle. They have a little boy, who just turned 3. He is really talkative and affectionate, not too mention adorable. My male cousin is 43, and I just assumed my his wife was around the same age or slightly younger, but when I mentioned that to my sister in law, she said, “Oh, she must be much younger, she has a 3 year old.” A few months ago a friend of mine who has been battling secondary infertility had to have surgery and had to have an ovary removed. My sister in law said, she needs to really hurry if she wants to have another child. I told her that I was sure they had been trying for a long time, but had not been able to conceive. I get along great with my sister in law, and often refer to her as my sister when I’m talking to other people. These comments though have really just depressed me and I woke up because of anxiety early this morning, after only a few hours of sleep.

    I just turned 44, and I know rationally I will not have biological children (we cannot unless we do IVF with ICSI, and my dh did not want to try), but I really just hate references about age and childlessness or infertility. Yes, I know your chances to have children decrease with age significantly, but practically everyone I know who does not have children, does not have kids because of some biological issue or other (or some circumstantial issue, like having no partner or an unreliable one at best), not because they “waited” too long. And of course, I would be one of those women who has examples left and right of friends and family members who had kids past 40 without medical intervention. One acquaintance at 43 (unplanned?), a friend at 41 (on the first try, of course, and I think she could have had more if she had wanted to), a friend at 44 (who had 3 other kids), an aunt at 42. Someone very dear to me also opened up to me once and told me she had had an abortion many decades ago because she was pregnant very late in life and feared having a child with serious problems (this broke my heart).

    • I know what you mean. I feel like people think I waited too long or put my career first. I had problems in my early 20s that prevented pregnancy and I tried throughout my 30s. Then I had friends getting pregnant naturally At 41 and 43. It hurts. I hear you.

  6. I’m glad is still whiny Wednesday.
    I know my post will sound mean to some.
    Sorry in advance.
    But, I feel like I will scream if I hear one more person saying they are a ‘single mother’ & expecting my sympathy as they beg for money for this or that for ‘their’ child.
    In the past, I have helped out MANY people, including single moms & their kids.
    Its a good thing I did not expect anything in return because I have received NOTHING.

    This year I just don’t feel like being generous.
    I know this sounds mean.
    But,here’s the deal: when I cry- I cry alone.
    When I cry over the 3 children I lost ( 3 seperate miscarriages)- I cry alone.
    I have always wanted to adopt children. But, my husband did not share my view about adoption.
    Where we live we have no family, no neices,nephews,etc.
    Here people don’t ‘share’ their children, which is understandable especially to non family members.
    However, people have NO problem wanting to take some or ‘share’ MY money for their kids. Like stated earlier, I have helped many,many people & children.

    As far as having kids now,there is NO hope for me. Not even adoption!!!
    I turned 52 last month & the pain does not go away with age.
    I feel totally hopeless.

    And of course,when I cry- I cry alone.

    Sorry, if I have not followed any posting rules or offended anyone.
    My heart is just so heavy right now.
    Thanks for letting me share.

    • I can relate to that sadness and how when you cry, you cry alone. I have helped many people also – being supportive as they were “trying” to get pregnant and also trying to share in the joy when their attempts turned into successful pregnancies. Not so much for me! I have received no support from friends – mostly because I don’t share every detail of my journey. Though dh is supportive, he doesn’t fully understand the depth of my sadness. Many, many times I have cried alone. My support has come from within myself and from this site and people who actually understand what it feels like to go through it.

  7. Eight-day house guest smokes. We do not. House stinks, cars stink, furniture stinks!!! She smokes outside, but brings it in with her. Not sure what will go first, my sinuses, my patience, or my sanity. 31 hours to go….