My whine this week is people who use “I have kids” as a valid reason for not doing something they said they’d do (especially when it’s something they’ve been paid to do!)
If you can’t do it or don’t want to do it, just say so. But don’t make a promise, drop the ball, and then assume “I have a kid” is sufficient explanation.
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s up your nose today?
My whine is the opposite. People using the “You don’t have kids” excuse to not invite us to things. We live in a small town and have a large circle of friends/colleagues as well as a smaller, more intimate inner circle of close friends. The large group had a number of people have babies all at the same time a few years ago and there have been other children born in the group ever since. Well, a bunch of of the kids’ birthday parties have been happening this spring and we were not invited to most of them. Honestly, I am okay with that and wouldn’t want to go to a 3 year old birthday for a co-worker, but some of my close friends were concerned that we weren’t invited and voiced that concern. We tried to explain that we likely weren’t invited because we don’t have kids, but that we are okay with that. However, these close friends also have kids and they can’t seem to fathom why we don’t want to be there.
My whine is that people in NJ do not know or understand the concept of alternate merge. I was driving to work this morning and went from one highway to another. The merge lane is really long and no one would let me merge. I was all the way to the end of the merge lane in the shoulder and 3 large SUVS were bumper to bumper refusing to let me in. I stared at the woman driving the last of those 3 SUVS and she refused to acknowledge my existence. Since this is NJ, we are all driving like 3 mph on the highway mind you. I am so disappointed in the people in this State. The majority of people in NJ are ugly (on the inside), small, selfish, angry and egocentric. It’s so hard to find good hearted people and I wonder if that is just a NJ problem, or if its everywhere.
I’m tired of people at work thinking since I have no kids I can work all the holidays and that I shouldn’t use all my time off even though I’m entitled to. This weekend I marked as off on the calendar at work for months suddenly because we’re shorthanded I’m suppose to cancel my plans. Because I have no kids so I can cancel no problem according to them.
Similar to Jenn, people thinking the fact that I have no kids means I should be able to help them anytime they need it. “You shouldn’t have a problem coming over, you don’t have responsibilities”.
Another one that just came to me. When people (my mother-in-law was good at this) refers to when we would have kids as when we would have to “get responsible” as if we are irresponsible when we don’t.
After many months of not checking a friend’s blog (especially with her talking about her baby in almost every single post), I decided to check in- and found out that she had talked about me in one post, deciding that it was over between us. She said of writing a letter going to send it to me, but after finding out that I was not ready (she tried to contact me during the first anniversary of hysterectomy, me ending up childless not by choice, really the worst time to try), and that she tore it up, determining that it was “easy” for me to abandon her.
Way to find out on my birthday. Nice…. (sarcasm)
Infertility really does help us find out who are real friends are, doesn’t it? She is not your friend. I hope you still managed to have a happy birthday. And I hope today is a good day for you. Hugs
I work for an NGO which is run by a volunteer board of directors. Even though we constantly try to have a representative board – people from different regions of the country, younger and older people, men and women – women just tend to disappear because having a baby just allows them to keep on working (part time mostly) but additional volunteer work soon fades out. Last friday we had our general assembly and I was standing with the three women: One who was going to resign because she had a baby a year ago (well good riddance to her, she can’t talk about anything else anymore), the other one who is new but will “take a break” because she’s expecting (saying she will be back – I don’t believe it till I see it, and am bracing myself for her to start behaving like the last time a woman tried to combine the work on the board with having a baby: She brought it to meetings with her including public breast feeding, only to diminish her commitment continually as the baby grew older till she eventually left) and the youngest who has recently made it clear that she plans a family within the next few years. And they talked babies. The youngest one said to me (out of the blue, or at least i don’t remember why because I tried not to listen to the conversation): “You need to have a baby”. My reply was “yeah great – if I only knew with whom”. She: “oh it doesn’t matter really!”. Oh yeah? Would she have a baby with anyone, not the long-term boyfriend she just moved in with? Did she consider even for 10 seconds that I’m more than 10 years older than her and babies might, but might as well not, be possible for me anymore? No she didn’t.
Is this going to happen again and again? From what I read on the internet: Yes, I need to get gray hair and reach the age of 50 before it will stop….