By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
As I get ready to embrace a fresh start this January—as I assemble my goals, state my intentions, dream, and plan for the months ahead—I’ve been thinking about how I might resolve some of my issues stemming from my journey to childfreeness, perhaps dissolve the last remnants of grief, and solve the mystery of what a beautiful Plan B might look like for me. Here are some of the tasks on my list:
- Reconnect with my soul by walking a labyrinth. (Find one near you here.)
- Talk to women at every level of the childfree path and share their stories on LWB. (More on this later.)
- Visit various networking groups (for women business owners, crafters, or writers) until I find my local tribe.
- Read Jody Day’s Rocking the Life Unexpected. (Watch Lisa’s recent interview with the amazing Jody here.)
- Take a class in something that tickles my imagination, challenges my brain, and entertains my spirit—and has nothing to do with kids. (I’m exploring healthy cooking for two, French conversation, Taiko drums, and agility training with my two four-legged “kids.”)
There’s room on my list for other ideas, so I’d love to hear what you are planning for 2014.
Happy new year!
Freelance writer Kathleen Guthrie Woods feels humbled and privileged to be part of Life Without Baby’s community of extraordinary women.
I also just started reading “Rocking the Life Unexpected” as well as writing a new blog about my infertility & moving towards childfreedom. I’ve been on the journey for almost 11 years so I’ve experienced every emotion imaginable. I would love to be featured as one of your stories. I really enjoy this page, by the way. It’s nice to fit in somewhere.
Brytanie, let us know where to find your blog when you get it set up. 🙂
Hi! Thanks for your interest. I’ve had a couple comments on my blog lately so maybe you’ve already found it but if not, the address is alifebeyondmywildestdreams.blogspot.com. I would love to connect with others “like me” and share the experiences of this journey!
Brytanie, Trying to connect with you without publishing our private e-mail addresses. I don’t see contact info on your site. Send your info to Lisa through the contact page on LWB, and she will forward it to me. Thanks. — Kathleen
I would love to talk with you! Will reach out to you off-line soon, Brytanie!
Meanwhile, bit of an update to this post. I heard from a friend that after looking at her last year’s resolutions (which were repeats of repeats of previous year’s), she realized the reason she didn’t do any of them is because they weren’t fun. There was nothing on her list that she wanted to do. (Yes, we all want to lose weight, but the actual work we have to do is rarely “fun.”) So this year her list includes things she is excited about doing:
* learn more about/eat a wider variety of cheese
* read minimum ten novels this year
* more karaoke!
* try every single flavor from Bi-Rite Creamery
What a great idea!
Absolutely – that sounds great!
A few years after my husband and I decided not to try pursuing parenthood anymore, I went back to taking ballet lessons (I’d trained seriously in my youth) and then started learning how to figure skate. It slowly dawned on me that I was able to do these things because we didn’t have children. If we’d had children, I would have wanted them to have the opportunity to learn how to do these and other things and discover the joys of different kinds of movement. Yet, we wouldn’t have been able to afford for both them and me to have these lessons. So I joke with people now about how I’m taking my children’s ballet lessons for them because they can’t be here to do it themselves. And I think sometimes that I may be appreciating these lessons more than my children would have because kids tend to take such things for granted, whereas the adults who are the ones actually spending the money for them . . . Either way, I feel both regretful I can’t give these things to my children and grateful that I’m able to enjoy them myself in their absence. These bittersweet feelings have been part of my journey toward resolution.
What a brilliant perspective, Ruby!
I restarted scuba diving since I don’t have to save money or worry about leaving a child motherless. (It is tough diving in cold water here in BC). I share my adventures with nieces and nephews on dry land and am the cool aunt. It is the most joyous thing I do and it wouldn’t happen if we weren’t childless. Plus, I am going back to school to work on projects that empower women in India where my family is from. I am finding those mixed blessings.