I’m convinced I’ve picked up a new form of morning sickness. The primary symptom of “Facebook Sickness” is feeling nauseated every time a “friend” posts yet another comment or photo updating her (or his wife’s) pregnancy. It’s an epidemic:
“Here’s a picture of me at week 5! Feeling blessed!” (Looking no different than you looked at week 4.5.)
“Here’s the latest ultrasound image!” (Still looks like a blob of nothing to me.)
“Today my pregnant wife is craving ice cream!” (I crave ice cream every day. Big whoop.)
“I’m kicking my mommy today. Love, Baby Girl Smith” (“I barfed up some grass and a few remnants of the missing tennis ball on the hallway carpet today. Love, Louie the dog.”)
I can’t comment with all the clever-ish comments I’m really thinking because that would be rude…and, well, I actually am happy for these people. But I am SO OVER the daily belly photos that I am tempted to post one of my own:
“Here’s a picture of my belly at 51 years, 7 months, and 5 days. Still fat.”
Kathleen Guthrie Woods is feeling cranky today, and it has nothing to do with any kind of hormonal imbalance.
I also am not a fan of those weekly belly shots all over Facebook. Sounds terrible but also depends on the person if I get excited or not over their baby. Our friends just had a baby and they are the nicest, most considerate people and I’m excited for them. Another friend was a huge awww last year when she had a baby and I just can’t get excited for her.
I am so glad for this post today. Yet another friend posted that she’s pregnant. My sister-in-law is pregnant. If I keep unfollowing all the mommy posters then I’m only going to see posts from book websites and tv shows. I’m soooo feeling FB sickness today.
posts from book websites and tv shows actually sound great!!
I’m so sorry you are struggling and feeling cranky, Kathleen. Your post made me laugh out loud, though! You put into words what we all think as those posts come along… I seriously wanted to take a pic of my belly the other day and say here’s my endometriosis belly. It’s really been kicking me today! But I don’t… Sending love and hugs your way. And hoping laughter makes it to you soon, as well.
Brandi and all — I just popped in to check, and your comments have me howling with laughter. So glad to be part of this community of women who truly GET IT. Thank you! Wishing you all love and light and more laughter today. xxoo
This is hilarious. The cranky Kathleen gets four stars! And Brandi – “Here’s my endometriosis belly” – love it. I happen to be in possession of some non pregnant belly pics, I had my husband take a few after my 4th failed IVF as I could not resist the mockery. They contain my bruise adorned belly, me rubbing my bruise adorned belly, and my hands forming one of those dumb little hand shaped hearts over my bruise adorned belly. Perhaps we should start our own belly picture posting campaign – what would our hashtag be?
This is great, I’m having a bad day for different reasons, but this really amuses me: “our own belly picture posting campaign” – great idea!
Sarah, I’m so sorry about your failed IVFs. Your post did make me chuckle, though. We have to find some type of humor in all of this, don’t we?!
I’m not sure about what the hashtag could be…. Have to think on that one. 😉
¡hola! This is exactly why I deleted my Facebook account about 9 months ago! I know I’m missing out on a lot but I’m happier and calmer. Just ask my husband! Instead of wasting time on fb i spend that time learning español online. ¡adios!
Good for you! And you are not missing out on anything! I need to follow your example!
Serial gloating about anything is very poor etiquette, and a sure way to get unfollowed by some of us. What if people incessantly posted on their personal pages about their professional or financial successes?
So nice to know I’m not alone in this. One thing ppl don’t realize is some followers actually get a little too excited about such photos. My husband’s uncle for example. He has made suggestive comments about a family member’s curvacious wife who wears revealing photos to start with, not to mention the bare belly bump photos. His photo comments seem to spur her on to posting more.
Oddly enough, the few I’ve known who battled infertility only to conceive seem to be among the worst offenders at belly pics and baby pics. Thank God for unfollow.
I echo Ossie Sharon too. Serial gloating of any form is narrow, shallow and self-absorbed.
I guess we forgot to comment about first time grandparent’s posts…OMG! They have samething to say….
Grandparents can be worse, because they not only post, but they also send mass, indiscriminate emails to every single one of their FBriends. Very intrustive.
Thanks for making us laugh, Kathleen!! I think I’m lucky that most of my facebook friends are quite self-aware, sometimes not even mentioning that they are pregnant! Yay for the ‘hide for 30 days’ function for the others. Actually, I just unfriended a guy who posted a series of pics of his new vehicle – along with the pricetag – bleh. So, ‘facebrag’ is not confined to one gender.
I love your post, and the comments. “Big whoop” had me cheering.
I’m lucky that it hasn’t really been a thing on my Fb feed. Even my niece didn’t really do it when pregnant.
And yes – sounds like you need to revert to the Unfollow or Hide for 30 days options. Still “friends,” just not being tortured daily.
“So blessed” or “we are so lucky!” is the worst phrase in the English language. It’s simply a socially acceptable way to brag. You were not chosen by some higher power to have a wonderful life. Facebrag indeed! Now that’s a phrase I can adopt.
Indeed. Why can’t people at least say “grateful”?
Totally agree – thank you. Love “Facebrag” – sums it all up perfectly. Rarely even log in these days and I’ve followed everyone who is pregnant for the past 4 years!
That should say “unfollowed”!!
And it does not end there. The posts keeps on going from birth, then every week: Baby on her first week, second week, third week….then month…I even saw few couples posting celebrations every month of the birth like it’s the baby’s birthday..
I had to unfollow these people, even if it was a close friend.
Although there are alot of posts on FB I dont like it has become “our world” yes for those young ones struggling with infertility the pain of postings can sting…I did not grow up with FB but other things abhor me…like who posts pictures of loved ones in a hospital bed? Or pictures of sores or other medical conditions?
Our world has become a self centered, selfie world and I cannot even go out for a meal with a friend that the phone is not included with the meal.
Everyone excuse if “Its my page and I can do what I want with MY page” thus hurting others you dont mean to hurt.
As a recent widow pictures of couples sting to my heart but yet they are also posted, just as the “pregnant” pictures upset those struggling
You cant just “unfollow” everyone
I know what everyone is going through as I have a recent relative who posts daily updates…
Not only that but in my generation we only had “Baby showers” to content with and now we have “gender reveal” parties and “birthing room pictures”
So basically I just scroll on by, refuse to post an unkind comment and close my tablet and go out into the real world leaving my Internet behind.
I feel sorry for young people today as I did not have to contend with all this when we went through the beginning of our Journey
You are right about FB becoming ‘our world’. The sad thing is we use it as a crutch for true interaction. Example: a good friend of mine’s mom, who loved us all as kids, passed away last month. He let us know via FB messenger. Which, I get is easier, but it is weird how things have changed so quickly.
Although I wonder how much longer FB will have this power in our lives. For all the fawning over it in the media, etc., my younger cousins who are in their early 20s rarely post. My nephews who are 17 don’t have accounts. So it makes wonder if they are going to be AOL in 5-10 years. Plus I am starting to notice a fair amount of burnout on the whole social media thing.
You know, it’s odd; I was talking with a couple of my colleagues about what we are thankful for at our age (50) and I blurted out without thinking ‘that I lived in a time before the internet.’ They were silent for a few seconds and then they agreed with me. However, without the internet, I would have never found LWB which really helped me recognize and grieve my loss over not having kids. The post Kathleen wrote awhile back about feeling cheated was the one that broke the dam for me because before that, I couldn’t articulate it. So I think my response was more about perspective, but it is a love/hate thing as well.
Hi, Marci. I just want to acknowledge your comment about the feeling “cheated” post. As brutal as it is, I’m grateful that that post provided a breakthrough for you. And, like you said, as much as this whole social media thing can be so ugly, I do appreciate it in that it allows us to gather and support each other in places like LWB. So glad you’re a part of this. xxoo — Kathleen
When someone announces their pregnancy on fb I say to myself, “Congratulations!! You are now hidden from my feed.” And then I hide them. I also hide people with children. I don’t feel bad that half of my fb friends are hidden. This means my feed is full of people posting funny stories, beautiful quotes, and my favorite–dog pictures. I’ve reclaimed my fb experience to make it the nice diversion that I want it to be. For close friends I can always go and look at their accounts individually every now and then to see what they’ve posted. The good thing is that I can choose when I view their accounts, so I only look at them when I’m not having a bad or tough day. It is more than okay to hide all the mommies. This path is hard enough. Why make it harder on yourself?
I’ve taken to annoying my facebook friends with count down photos of places we will be traveling to. And then post EVERY DAY of our trip the amazing places we are at.
If they are allowed to post countdown photos of how many weeks until they have the baby I get to post countdowns of pictures of the amazing places I get to go.
Right on sister! I do the same .. something that they won’t be able to enjoy for a while .. couples /solo vacations!
I am thankful for Facebook for LWB and keeping up with other Gateway Women – there is so much smugness in posts especially children, baby and pregnancy related that I rather like the word “facebrag”. I have also had to un-follow some friends in the past as it was too painful to be constantly reminded that they had what I so wanted!
I’m also thankful for Google. That is how I got in contact with Life Without Baby and then, with all of you !!!
I wrote about this sort of social media ‘sickness’ on my blog recently. It’s telling that there are people who live vicariously through social media – I frequently disconnect from the ‘grid’ that is social media, because I just think most of the stuff on there is junk. I posted on there today for the first time in ages and it will probably be another age before I bother posting on there again – one of my so called ‘best friends’ only knows what’s occuring in my life when it’s posted on facebook – but as I generally don’t post stuff that’s happening to me on there, this means she knows nothing… it’s sad… and it’s also telling that the people who are at the forefront of running facebook don’t post on there and don’t allow their kids to have accounts as it’s been proven to be addictive. It can’t be healthy for people to recount their everything on there…