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Owning Your Childlessness

June 22, 2020

I like to tell this story about a conversation I once had with a group of people I had recently met. I remember one of the women was telling a story and tossed out that she was unable to have children.

Then she went right on with her story.

She didn’t pause for people to give her sympathetic looks, she didn’t elaborate on why she couldn’t have children, and she didn’t explain that she’d wanted to have them or tried to. She said it matter-of-factly, as if she’d been telling us she didn’t care for the taste of liver and onions.

I was in awe.

Later that day, we were talking about confidence and she told me that it has taken her a long time (she’s in her 50s) to own who she is. “You just can’t entertain that voice that tells you that you’re less than or not good enough,” she said.

How many of us hear that voice and how many us pay attention to what it tells us?

What if we stopped apologizing for who we are? I think we could be very powerful.

Do you have a voice that tells you you’re less than? Do you listen to it? How do you shut it up and own who you are?

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Childless Not By Choice, Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes Tagged With: childless, childless not by choice, confidence, fb, Infertility, support

Comments

  1. Jane says

    June 22, 2020 at 6:13 am

    I really wish that I could not let that feeling of not being good enough – or less than a woman for being childless but I cant seem to get a grip on it. Some days I am fine, other days a pampers ad makes me cry. It’s getting easier but there is still this underlying and sometimes overwhelming feeling that I will never be good enough.

  2. Sandra Beaty says

    June 22, 2020 at 7:02 am

    Awesome topic. Sometimes I do a little of both. I run into since I was unable to have kids I feel like I need to make up for that and do something extraordinary with my life . I love her statement . I guess there is still a voice somewhere in my head that states that . But I am reading Jody Days second book and really working to use affirmations that I am love able and have worth without being a Mon. I am definitely going to use this line in the future .

  3. Analia Toros says

    June 22, 2020 at 5:20 pm

    Standing up for you…

  4. robin says

    June 27, 2020 at 10:28 am

    I feel “less than” for a billion reasons. I have ALWAYS been the odd one out, not good enough, last one picked for the team, not invited to the party, forgotten when not in the room, so what’s one more thing proving that I just don’t count as a human being… :o/

    How do I fight the voice in my head that says those things (and note, the voice is encouraged by the evidence around me)… well. still working on it. I’m an artists, and I do my damnedest to make amazing ART. if nothing else, I will have THAT.

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