Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Hot!

It’s about a million degrees at my house (ok, it’s about 95, but anything over 90 may as well be a million, as far as I’m concerned) and over the past three days I have spent more than 12 hours sitting in a car. All I want to do is go to my local park and run amongst the trees. But it’s too flipping hot!

Aside from that, I’m feeling pretty chipper this week, but it is Whiny Wednesday and the floor is open to get whatever is on your chest off your chest. So, let it all hang out.

For those of you who expressed an interest, here is a link to my interview from yesterday’s Sacramento & Company news show. The host was fantastic, and offscreen, I had a great conversation with him and two of the producers, about being childfree. It’s always good to meet people who get it.

Happy 4th of July

It always tickles me as a Brit to be celebrating America’s independence from my people, but hey, you can’t stop progress.

This year I will be watching the rocket’s red glare over my state’s capitol building (assuming the California budget will stretch to it this year.)

Then I am taking my show on the road to talk about my book, infertility, and the ups and downs of being childfree-not-by-choice.

If you happen to be in Sacramento I will be talking to Guy Farris on Sacramento & Company on Tuesday morning’s show, 9:00 a.m. Channel 10.

On Wednesday, I’ll be talking to Shannon Sanford on WTBQ in New Jersey (airing Saturday, I think.)

Then on Thursday, I’ll be talking live with Kim Iverson on her show that airs in all these fabulous places:

AUSTIN – KAMX (7pm-Midnight)
BUFFALO – WTSS (7pm-Midnight)
DENVER – KALC (7pm-Midnight)
INDIANAPOLIS – WZPL (7pm-Midnight)

MILWAUKEE – WMYX (7pm-Midnight)
MEMPHIS – WMC-FM (7pm-Midnight)
NORFOLK- WPTE (7pm-Midnight)
PORTLAND – KRSK (7pm-Midnight)
WICHITA- KFBZ (6pm-11pm)

If you get the chance, please tune in. I will post links when I can.

For now, whether you’re celebrating 4th July, Canada Day, or having a normal Monday (or Tuesday for our Oceanic friends), have a safe and happy 4th of July.

P.S. Kathleen’s regular Monday “It Got Me Thinking…” column will post tomorrow.

Airline bans first class babies

Malaysian Airlines announced this week that they would ban babies from flying first class and that their new fleet of airbus A380s would not be equipped with bassinets in the first class compartment.

According to a related article in the Britain’s The Globe and Mail, a recent poll showed that 70% of first class travelers cited crying babies as the number one annoyance when flying. I think this is true for passengers in all classes, but tossing the babies back into the cheap seats is a bit like the king emptying his chamber pot on the peasants. Nobody wants to spend 10 hours cooped up next to a screaming infant or a belligerent toddler – not even the parents!

I don’t think banning babies from any part of the aircraft (except the cockpit, of course) is the solution. Most parents I’ve seen wrestling with young children on flights want some peace and quiet just as much as the people around them and most are doing the best they can to make that happen.

Wouldn’t a better solution be to create a “kid zone” where children can have a little more flexibility to be children, without being glared at by the other passengers?

I think I will put this out to some of my mom friends and get their opinion. I just don’t think that a baby ban is the solution.

Census data show childfree households are majority

Courtesy: LA Times

Yesterday morning I shuffled out to my front porch to pick up the newspapers. My sleepy curiosity jumped to attention when I saw the cover headline of the LA Times:

“Data show state families changing.”

Above the headline was a row of pie charts showing that, according to the 2010 U.S. census figures, 26.0% of California households are married couples with no children, up 4% since 2000. Surprising, but not shocking until you compare this with the data on nuclear families (defined as a household with a married couple of the opposite sex, and children). These families make up only 23.4% of households, down a whopping 10% since 2000.

This means that, as a childfree couple, Mr. Fab and I are in the majority around here. As the article says: “Today, California is a stark reflection of a new dynamic; the traditional Hallmark card image is hardly obsolete, but it is the minority.”

I hope this means that, as this trend continues (and I predict it will), we childfree people will come to be seen as the norm and no longer the odd, misunderstood creatures we are now.

Crotch Length and Infertility in Men

In the news recently, a study conducted at Baylor College of Medicine in Texas reveals that a man’s crotch length (that’s the distance between the scrotum and the anus) is directly related to fertility.

The study showed that infertile men had “a significantly shorter anogenital distance” than fertile men.

Apparently, this finding could be used as a “less invasive” way to test fertility in men, but my question is, “And do what about it?”

I understand the importance of continued research, but sometimes I’m just left scratching my head.

Octomom’s Doctor Loses License

By Kathleen Guthrie

Michael Kamrava, the Beverly Hills fertility specialist who transferred 12 embryos to Nadya Suleman and launched her career as “Octomom” (she delivered octuplets in 2008), has lost his medical license.

Read the full story here.

A judge initially recommended Kamrava be put on probation for five years for impregnating Suleman, who was already struggling to care for six children as an unemployed single mother.  However, the medical review board of California, finding Kamrava “committed gross negligence, repeated negligent acts, and incompetence” in this case and at least two other cited cases, instead decided to pull his license.

It’s about f*&%ing time.

He claims he was just doing his job, by giving the patient what she wanted. I think what he did was unconscionable. What do you think?

Kathleen Guthrie is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She believes there is a special place in hell for the charlatans who take advantage of women struggling with infertility. 

Silly Saturday: Bold Facial Hair!

Photo courtsey: Wicked MonkeysBy Kathleen Guthrie

This has almost nothing to do with being childfree.

In Norway over the weekend of May 14, more than 150 contestants from around the world participated in the World Beard and Moustache Championship. In 17 categories, men’s facial hair designs were judged on size, grooming, originality, and how “good-looking” their style is. Medals were awarded.

While I’m initially drawn to the freak-show factor of the elaborate creations, I ultimately think, BRAVO! I love that these men have found a community where they are appreciated and celebrated. As Bruce Roe, president of a Washington-based Whisker Club and a multiple winner said, “The championships are an excuse for us to get together with our friends…I have some trophies, but the best part is the friends I’ve made through the years.”

Certainly, many people would look at these gentlemen and judge them as a sub-class of society. Funny, that sounds to me like how childfree women are often viewed. And, just like these fascinating bearded guys, we are ignoring our critics, demonstrating that we are fun-loving humans, reaching out to each other, and creating community.

I think that’s awesome!

P.S. Congratulations to Elmar Weisser of Germany who took home gold medals for the Full Beard Freestyle and Overall categories! Click here for photos of the 2011 winners.

Kathleen Guthrie is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She loves a feel-good human-interest story.

Whiny Wednesday: Post-Election Day

Yesterday was Election Day in my hometown. This means that all last weekend and half of this week I was bombarded with phone calls, junk mail, and canvassers at my door.

I’m an intelligent adult. I read, I listen to the news, and I formulate my own opinions. So, no, it is not okay to hound me while I’m quietly pruning my roses on a Sunday afternoon. And no, it is not okay to verbally trash the opposition while I’m sitting on my porch. It is not okay to call all day asking for my vote; I work from home; I’m busy. And no, if you’re going to tout yourself as an environmental crusader, it is not okay to fill my mailbox with enough campaign fliers to paper the Empire State building.

It’s Whiny Wednesday, and it’s all over now, but I had to get that off my chest.

It Got Me Thinking…About Stevie Nicks

By Kathleen Guthrie

Sheryl Crow recently revealed that rock legend Stevie Nicks advised her “not to have babies, ’cause you’ll never write a great song again.” (Watch their amazing duet of “Landslide” on Oprah here.) Now, I don’t agree that mothers can’t also be great songwriters, but it is hard to argue with Ms. Nicks when you consider her legacy: more than 40 hits, over 140 albums sold, 8 Grammy Award nominations as a solo performer, 1 win for Album of the Year (for Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours), and 4 decades of success in the music industry. Plus, she looks damn hot at 62.

Tomorrow, May 3, Nicks’ latest album, In Your Dreams, will be released. In a parallel life, she might be helping out with the grandkids. Instead, in part because she’s childfree, she’s touring with Rod Stewart, promoting her album, and moving all of us with her extraordinary musical gifts.

So I say, Let’s support one of our own! Purchase the album, get tickets to her shows (visit her official Web site here for more information), and show the world that childfree women ROCK!

Kathleen Guthrie is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She’s mostly at peace with her decision to be childfree.

Family Pressure to Reproduce

Unless you’ve taken to living under a rock recently (understandable, if you have) you’ll know that a Royal Wedding is imminent. Tomorrow, Britain’s Prince William (first-born son of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana) will marry Kate Middleton.

The tabloids are a-flutter with talk of dresses, music, and guests – both invited and snubbed – but all I can think about is Kate’s ovaries.

I know; it’s sick to even be going there, but I can’t help thinking about the pressure on this young couple, but especially on Kate, to reproduce. Being second in line to the throne, and with speculation that Charles will not succeed his mother, Wills is certain to eventually become King. And a king needs heirs.

We’ve talked before on this blog about the pressure some of us have felt from our families to provide grandchildren and cousins, so imagine the pressure to produce a royal heir.

Historically, barren queens haven’t fared well (See Henry VIII) and although the days of executing a wife who doesn’t produce heirs are long gone, that pressure still remains. And forgive me, but I can’t help wondering if Kate, much like an expensive thoroughbred, has already been vetted for her potential as future King or Queen Mother. Either way, I’m pretty sure that choosing a childfree life isn’t going to be an option for this couple.

So, I’ll be keeping a careful eye on the royal newlyweds, but for now, I wish them good luck and a long and, um, fruitful marriage.