I’m very pleased to announce a new series of guest bloggers. We’re kicking off this week with Dorothy, who will share her thoughts on faith and infertility. If you’d like to contribute your voice to the conversation, I’d love to hear from you. You can find Guest Blogger guidelines here.
by Dorothy Williams
“Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them what referred to him in all the scriptures” (Luke 24:27).
As a childless Christian, I was shocked to discover the lack of biblical guidance for my particular situation. You know, the kind of specific, scriptural passages which give hope to a permanently barren wife. And I stress the word permanently because the more I researched the topic, the more I saw that infertility was merely a temporary situation for believers. As I looked at examples from the lives of Abraham and Sara to Hannah to Elizabeth, I saw one miracle baby after another. Gosh, it seemed that as long as I had God on my side, all I had to do was pray for my circumstances to change and BANG! I would get that miracle baby.
But that didn’t happen. So where in the bible was support for my situation? Did it mean that my journey was not sacred or my life not meaningful?
After praying about this for over a year, the answer finally came when the Lord prompted me to look more closely at a resurrection story about Jesus. It’s known as the “Road to Emmaus” and it is contained in a book of the bible called the gospel of Luke (specifically, Luke 24:13-35). I won’t repeat it here, except for the one line quoted at the top of this blog entry. The gist of it is that the bible is not actually about me. (Slap my forehead…duh!) It is about God’s relationship with His people and the gift of His Son, Jesus.
Christians believe that the life, death and resurrection of Jesus saves us from everything that is lacking in the human condition, including infertility. Our journey can be sacred despite all the twists and turns it may take because Christ’s perfection fills up what is imperfect in our own lives.
So I have a renewed devotion to the risen Jesus, of course, but this exercise also gave me a profound respect for authors who write specifically on the topic of being permanently childless. Their books may not carry the weight of Holy Scripture, but they just might be working with God in a different way to give our lives sacred meaning as we travel together on this unique road.
Dorothy Williams lives in the Chicagoland area and is making the transition from childless to childfree to Christian one prayer at a time.
I love this post, Dorothy, and thanks to Lisa for giving guest bloggers the opportunity. I’m also a childfree Christian, and I know that one of our points of “worth” is being able to share our burdens with each other who are also hurting. The ladies who have written books on this subject have blessed others like us in ways they will never fully realize. Thanks!
Thank you!!! So many Christian infertility stories are about how God miraculously intervened and provided a child in the end. But what about the others for whom God has said “No.”? One thing I believe the Lord has shown me is that my peace (which is a gift from Him) with a shattered dream, and the faith to believe that He will work all things for good is as much a miracle as beating the odds and having a child. All that being said, I’ve not had anything stretch my faith as much as my infertility, and I’m still working it all out. :/
I found the following passage very helpful : Isaiah 54. 1-10.
Thank you so much for posting this! I am encouraged daily by your blog posts (and book!). And thank you, Dorothy for your guest post!
Thanks, everyone, for the positive feedback. May our loving and merciful God wrap you in His arms and bless you.
If there is something, from a childless Christian perspective, that you would like to see featured, please let Lisa know and she can forward the request to me. Also, If the Lord brought comfort to you through particular bible passages it would be great to share them.
Cazzolafamily, I am definitely planning to highlight Romans 8:28. Lynn, thanks for reminding me about the passage from Isaiah 54.
I’m so excited to see the guest bloggers here and thank you already Dorothy for sharing your story. I too am a childless Christian. It is nice to see others here in my shoes, not that I’d wish it on anyone. But you’re right, you hear story after story in the bible of God blessing these barren women with their hearts desires. After many, many prayers, I finally stopped asking God for my desires and starting asking Him for His. My husband and I both kept getting the same message laid on our hearts and that is this…”I have so much more in store for you.” It’s taken a while to accept that but I am gaining peace about it. My life had already been so much more blessed than I could have ever asked for, so who am I to demand more. God didn’t promise that I’d be a mother. That was something I put on myself. I’m very much looking forward to following you here. Thank you again and God bless!
LOVE the post, Dorothy. 😀 I know at almost 33 y.o. I’m probably still considered “too young” to live childless-not-by-choice, but we’ve let go of thinking of a future with kids (not an easy road). I find that this quote really spoke to me: “It is not so true that “prayer changes things” as that prayer changes me and I change things. God has so constituted things that prayer on the basis of Redemption alters the way in which a man looks at things. Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man’s disposition.
~ Oswald Chambers”
Oh, and The Serenity Prayer never spoke to me as loudly and dearly as after our IF journey began. That said, it’s still hard to navigate life in this life filled with mothers and kids, but it gets better with God’s help as time goes by. 😀 Another passage that’s helped me greatly is this one: 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (NLT)
I feel that I can comfort others who are experiencing IF after my IF journey began and it struck a chord within me when I read it. If God can use my pain to comfort someone else through me, then so be it. 🙂
You’re welcome Dorothy!
” After many, many prayers, I finally stopped asking God for my desires and starting asking Him for His”
CiCi — Thanks for your support, and a special thank you for reminding us to pray for God’s desires.
Amel — Thanks for the reminder to PRAISE God, no matter what our circumstances are in life. All Glory to Him!