By Dorothy Williams
You won’t be receiving one of those cute, holiday photo greeting cards from me this Christmas. You know, the kind you get from relatives and friends, showing the perfect, smiling family with the caption, “Greetings from the Williams bunch!”
There’s nothing wrong with those holiday photos, of course, and now that I am in the acceptance stage of my grieving process, I enjoy seeing nieces, nephews and children of friends grow into the healthy, beautiful adults that God designed. But when you’re struggling with infertility, or finally coming to terms with the stark reality that God may have a different plan for your life, the influx of December mail can be awful.
I once dreaded opening my mailbox during the holidays as if tiny pipe bombs lay in there, waiting to explode with emotional shrapnel. My hands shook as I opened each holiday photo card because I knew there would be another reminder that I was childless-not-by-choice, and it would take hours to process the raw feelings of rage and sorrow that welled up. I’m glad I didn’t say anything to my family during those years because it might have stopped the cards, preventing the joy I receive now. Instead, I shared my secret pain with a couple of trusted advisers, and of course, my best friend and Savior, Jesus. It was good to have a powerful friend who experienced deep suffering, too, and didn’t mind talking about it.
So instead of sending one of those cards, I am sending a link to Birthday Jesus at the Skit Guys website as my holiday greeting. Have you heard of the Skit Guys? They are the comedy duo of Tommy Woodard and Eddie James, best friends since high school, who now serve the Lord, making up wonderful stories about life in Christ.
I hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas
Dorothy Williams lives near Chicago. She sends out holiday greeting cards that celebrate the birth of Christ.
I recognise the feeling… I remember I had a “friend” to whom I’ve been sending Christmas cards and she never sent anything back except only once, when she got a kid, she sent me a picture of the child and wrote at the back “my son”. I was so furious I can’t describe! She didn’t even ask how I was doing or anything what so ever. There was no wishing card, no letter, no “greetings”. Nothing! Do I have to say I never send anything to her ever again? And she could probably call me jealous and people would agree (!) I feel I should be righting under the whining wednesday post…. 🙁
I don’t get many cards, probably because I’m too lazy to send them. I’m really, really bad… In the past I would buy them with all expectation to send them off and then time would pass and I would just forget. It does spare me from getting the cards with baby/kids. Frankly, I don’t like how common this trend is. I’m all about cards that are reminders of what we are celebrating this season, not cards of kids I might not ever have met or that I’m not particularly close to. It feels like these cards are more about the people who send them, “Look at me and my lovely family”, instead of reconnecting with an old friend and wishing them all the best from the bottom of your heart. Don’t get me wrong. I adore my niece and nephew and have pictures of them on display in my house, and I have these very cute pictures of them when they were little on my refrigerator door, along with pics of one of my friend’s kids who I think is the sweetest little girl. But I feel differently about these kind of cards for Christmas.
The skit was spot on. How very true!
On the note about your secret pain…it does feel that way doesn’t it? But it’s great indeed that we have the gift and comfort of Jesus. Thank you for sharing this post and the reminders!!! I enjoy reading your submissions here.
unfortunately going to the Skit Guys website lead me to the video about the “live nativity” and it wasn’t really helpful 🙁
lisa,
i just discovered these blogs on your site by dorothy. could you please send me either her email address or a way to connect to her through her current website or blog? thank you, and thanks for keeping these posts as well as all the other helpful ones you have online.
sue