Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Kid Hater

Whiny_WednesdayOverheard outside my local café last week:

“I have three kids and I hate all of them.”

Can someone please explain to me why this jack@$$ gets to have the privilege of being a parent when so many lovely people I know (including myself) don’t?

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s got you spitting nails this week?

Comments

  1. It’s like the story I’ve told where my sister heard something similar in a department store. She was going through infertility. She turned around and said, “You should be grateful you get to have children. Not all of us are so lucky.”

    Why do so many people who are unappreciative and/or bad parents get to have children? I keep asking myself this and I never get an answer I like.

    As for my whine, I’m really tired of raking leaves. I can’t afford a lawn service, and I’m still trying to get up the fallen leaves from October 2012. Ugh!

  2. I’m sorry. That sucks. Last week I had my annual visit with a new gyno. The first one post failed IVF cycle. I had to share the waiting room with a woman who had just discovered she was pregnant and was not happy. Her tirade about hating kids and thinking she was finally done was painful. I came within inches of walking out.

  3. This past Sunday at our Bible school session, the leader let everyone know that he and his wife were pregnant with their second child. Everyone knows that we are still struggling with irreparable infertility. The second they heard about the leader’s baby news, they started CLAPPING. Clapping!!! I do think they realized that it was a dumb move, since I heard them whispering right after. But still… clapping.

  4. Whine #1: Back at work from a week off. Whine #2: Dh is in a bad mood (see whine #1). Whine #3: While I was away, the director of my area announced his resignation — going to another company. Today is his last day. Which leaves me & my coworker without either a senior manager (she was recently “seconded” to another position within the department for the next year) or a director. I assume we are reporting directly to our VP until those spots are filled — but I can’t even ask her about it since she is out of the office this week on business. Needless to say, I am feeling just slightly at loose ends here. I know I’m a big girl and it’s not about me… but… what about me??!! :p

  5. A friend came by at work without warning, with her new baby. I knew I had to say ‘hello” otherwise folks would think me snubbing her…but then she looked at me, “I’m free for two months..let me know when we can get together sometime- we can talk about the baby.”

    I don’t wanna to!

    • OMG! If someone said that to me (and I’ve had a similar kind of comment from an over-the-top grandfather), I think I’d respond, asking her why she was trying to scare me away!

  6. Nothing child related for me today. But my oldest cat (my Lacey) was not herself this weekend, so I took her to the vet Monday, and her kidneys were majorly swollen. After the blood test, she was diagnosed with acute, sudden onset, kidney failure. She’s almost 15, so I didn’t want to put her through the four days of hospitalization for a process that MIGHT make her condition more manageable, not cure it. So we decided to euthanize. Every time I say it (or type it) I start crying. Her appointment is for tomorrow, so I have one more night of cuddling with her. She has been a huge comfort during my divorce 8 years ago, and my infertility issues with my second husband, and I am going to miss her tremendously.

    • We had that with our Mowgli at the same age. We did the best we could for her for a couple of months–low phosphorous diet, subcutaneous fluids, etc.–but we had to let her go because she was in so much pain. You have my heartfelt empathy. It was the hardest decision we ever made. I miss my Mo-baby every day. Just remember, crying is good for you. It doesn’t hurt like the ache does, and it cleans out your eyeballs.

    • dear Julie,
      I am so sorry that you will have to say goodbye to Lacey today.
      My beloved Wolf (6year old German Shepherd) also has severe kidney failure… so I am dreading of the day that we will have to say goodbye for good to him.
      Hugs!

    • Julie, this is so sad. I lost my beloved cat on October and I still miss her very much. This is such a difficult thing to go though. My heart goes out to you.

  7. “Can someone please explain to me why this jack@$$ gets to have the privilege of being a parent when so many lovely people I know (including myself) don’t?”

    The answer is – there is no answer. (to quote Gertrude Stein)

    It’s random. You, me, all the lovely women here – we’d have liked to have children, and see this woman as lucky. She clearly doesn’t see herself as lucky. We all have our whiny wednesdays about something, I guess. I had mine on my blog this week.

  8. I just got off the phone with my dad. He told me a story about his friend’s son who will be on the local news tonight. Here’s their story, you may have heard this one before:

    “They were having trouble conceiving so they spent thousands of dollars putting their name on an international adoption list. Shortly after being notified that they had a child for them to adopt, low and behold, they got pregnant!”

    After the slight pause on the phone, I’m sure my dad was waiting for me me to say, “That’s amazing! I guess we should do that, too. I’ll go start the adoption process first thing tomorrow!”

    In reality, during that pause I took a deep breath.

    Then I stated that these stories give people false hope. They tell the story of the fortunate few. We never hear the stories of the thousands of others who never conceive.

    I restated, yet again, that this is our new reality and that we have resigned to the fact that we will not parent.

    His reply: “Oh well. Life goes on, right.”

    He’s my father, but sometimes I want to punch him in the face.