By Nicole Hasenpflug
My childhood Sunday school class had many boys, but only two girls: one petite, doe-eyed child…and me. It was no surprise when, for the few years we were Christmas-pageant-aged, the other girl was chosen to portray Mary…every single time. Too tall and awkward to be the mother of Jesus, I was the angel—also every single time. I really wanted to have a turn at being Mary, but I did my best as the angel anyway. I had the lines down from the first year, starting with, “Fear not! For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy…”
On my bad days—and at this time of year there are a few—I’m sometimes bitter about the fact that I never even made the cut to play a mother in a church pageant. “Mary” grew up to be a wonderful person and the mother of three adorable boys. I don’t get to do that. Always the messenger, never the mom.
On other days I think about my opening line: “Fear not.” I chose my path as a teacher when I was still young enough for the tinsel halo, and I am now in my eighteenth year of teaching, in a school with many students in poverty and other tough situations. I spend a surprising amount of time saying, “Fear not,” or some variation, and then working to find ways to back what I’ve said and provide a bit of comfort, when often there is no easy fix.
I’ll never be a Mary, and I’m certainly not an angel, but delivering good news (and, once in a while, tidings of great joy) is a role I can grow into.
Nicole Hasenpflug has many adolescent musicians in her life—just not (usually) in her house. She shares her home with her amazing husband and their two bunnies.
Thank you for this message!!! I once had a dream where Mary told me her son had a message for me. Then I saw him standing above water as I stood on the sandy shore and listened as he said: “Don’t worry, everything will be alright.” I consider myself somewhat spiritual, though not very religious… And thinking about that dream when I was around 18, brings me peace. So did reading your message today. I wish you the same.