If you’re new to the site, you might wondering what Whiny Wednesday is all about.
A few years ago, some readers commented that they couldn’t express how they felt around friends and colleagues, as they were always made to feel as if they were whining. So, we created Whiny Wednesday as a place to complain and grumble about whatever’s on your mind each week. It can be an issue surrounding living without children, or just a general grumble about life, work, family, the world.
I used to start each post with a gripe of my own, but lately I’ve found I’ve covered most of what bothers me, so I put out a call for Whiny Wednesday topics, and you, dear readers, came through! So, each week, I offer one of your suggested topics as a starting point, but as always, any topic is fair game.
So, let’s kick off with this week’s topic:
Parents who complain and complain then ask “Do you want my kids?”
Happy whining!
P.S. If you need something to cheer about instead, check this fun list of quotes from famous childfree women.
If you have a topic that hasn’t been covered yet, please drop me a line, send me ideas, or a list of ideas, and I’ll include them here. You can reach me at: lisa [at] lifewithoutbaby [dot] com.
Love Whiny Wednesday! It’s my first contribution to it, though…
Today I went to an expat event in a town close to where I live (I’m a Brazilian living in the Netherlands), and many mommies were there, some with babies tagging along. At the end of the event we sat down at a café for a cup of coffee and some chitchat. A mommy sat next to me and we started asking each other the usual first-time-I-ever-see-you-in-my-life-and-I’m-not-sure-I’ll-ever-see-you-again questions. And obviously one of the questions was “Do you have children?” And this lady does, two of them. I said I don’t have any and she said “Oh, that’s good for you”… and then she started rambling about how her 6-year-old said something mean to her the night before (that she had to move away, because he didn’t like her anymore)… and she went on and on and on and on about it… man, it’s the first time I see you in my life, I don’t have kids, and why are you venting your issues to me??? And in the end she said, “Oh, maybe I’ll move away and you can take care of my kids for me for a while.” on a just-kidding moment (but deep down inside I knew she kinda meant it somehow)… Argh!!!!
My whine is my rabbit passed away on Sunday. I miss her and I am mad that it happened. My husband never had a pet so he is extremely sad. We are in a funk right now and it stinks
I’m so sorry, pets are such a huge part of our lives, it is so hard to lose them.
I am so sorry. It is really hard when we lose our pets. My heart goes to you two!
I’m so sorry to hear about your rabbit
I’m so sorry. I have pet rabbits too. We lost one a few years ago and it was hardest on my husband. I am very close to the other rabbit and I am dreading the day he goes. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
Sorry for your loss. Our first rabbit was almost ten when she died – a good old age, but I still miss her. The two we’ve since adopted adore each other, which is great since we work a lot, but Peaches was a “people rabbit,” and I miss that.
I read a large variety of blogs, and some of them are mommy blogs. For the most part they do not bother me. But sometimes I get really frustrated. One of the mom’s I read had her 11th child at age 45!! Naturally, no fertility intervention. I can’t even be upset with her as she loves her children, and totally acknowledges how much of a blessing they are. But I really get mad at the fact that I was never able to have even one.
11?!
“That’s just greedy!” is my usual, never-voiced response to hearing someone has lots of children.
My response to the question “Do you want my kids?” is now always, “Sure.” That’s it, plain and simple! I look them in the eye and say “Sure”. Mostly because its true, I would love to adopt their kids, but partly because it makes them squirm and stop and think about what they just said to me.
I get this a lot from parents who usually are ‘joking’. I sometimes fake laugh or kind of smile. I am not one for confrontations, which is something I am working on, but if they only could hear what I am saying in my head.
There has only been one time when I was asked this question/joke was I able to actually react the way I was thinking in my head (and it was because I had just had a failed pregnancy and was ticked off).
“Do you want my kids?”
“Actually, No, I want my own but I can’t have kids. So instead of complaining about your children, maybe be grateful for the blessing they are to you.”
“I was only joking.”
“I didn’t find it funny.”
I didn’t even feel bad about it, even though I probably didn’t say it in the nicest way. I still don’t care. It was the best feeling.
I get people are excited to share news that they are pg, but why do it while you’re out in public shopping? I was clothes shopping today and hear a lady loudly in the next aisle making calls telling people if they’ve heard she’s expecting.
My whine is that (as I’ve already moaned about on Pamela’s Silent Sorority Blog) even the list of quotes from women include justifications about why they don’t have children, when men would never have to make the same justifications. Argh!
My personal whine, I went for a physical and my blood tests indicate I am, at 48, post-menopausal. Post – meaning done with menopause and it sure feels that way. Not sad but weird to know I have the fertility of a 65 year old woman. I’m not asking why because, thanks to Mali, I know the answer – the answer is there is no answer.
My whine is a day late, but a friend, who went through infertility treatments at the same time I did, BUT got pg on her own , is now on Facebook and is into throw back Thursday and post pics of her sons when they were babies EVERY Thursday. She refused to get on Facebook for years, and now I wish she had never changed her minded. It’s just so painful because we are the same age and they gave up infertility treatment long before we did, and didn’t spend half of the $$$ we did. It’s just not fair!
I always enjoy the people who make comments that “you don’t have kids” and then want to offer them up to you with their comments “you want them.” I always say to parents who make comments like that, watch your thoughts and words and choose your next ones very carefully. God has given you a precious gift and to toss it away so flippant is ignorant. He gave that child to you, do you really want him to take it away?
My sister just had a baby. She hasn’t talked to me since February despite my texts to follow up on the card I sent to her son and to congratulate her when I found out she was having a girl. I had a miscarriage on the day she gave birth, 2 weeks ago. She called and just kept saying “I’ll always be there for you”. I got fed up and asked her: What does that mean? No response. She actually hasn’t “been there for me” and I feel like she is just saying that because she is trying to make herself feel better. Arrrgggghhh.