This Friday is Halloween, which for many of us means streams of cute children knocking on our front doors.
Love it or hate it; it’s hard to avoid it. So the discussion topic for this week is:
How do you handle this difficult holiday?
As it’s Whiny Wednesday, there’s room for your gripes here, too.
today is my birthday. I am going away for a few days so will miss the trick or treaters. My birthday is a hard day this year. I have been through some rough times lately and the fact that I am childless seems to add to the pain. I have amazing friends and I hope to hold on to that to help me get through the day. I want to find some joy in the day, but right now things just hurt. I got to work this morning to see a co-worker give a hand knitted baby hat to a woman who just had a baby. The new mom had a huge baby shower at the office before she gave birth, with a lot of gifts, but the presents keep coming.
I’m sorry you had to see yet another baby gift, especially on your birthday- that does suck!! I understand why your birthday is difficult this year… mine was too. But I bet your friends are happy for this day, otherwise I don’t think you would have called them amazing!!! 🙂 I’m glad you are treating yourself to a few days out of town… it is with support and understanding that I say Happy Birthday (even if you don’t feel like celebrating much)- xoxo
Yes, I hope you have (or have had) a happy birthday with your friends, putting everything else aside for a bit. Our birthdays can be hard, but you can celebrate being a survivor, and making the world a better place just by being born.
This year I decided to handle Halloween by avoiding it! In previous years I have always handed out candy to trick-or-treaters but I decided this year I’m turning off the porch lights and not answering the door. I will eat all the candy myself 🙂 Also, on Facebook I created a list of friends without kids and I’m only going to look at their posts for the next several days. That way, I can avoid all the photos of kids in costumes, families at the pumpkin patch, etc. It’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with it, but oh well! I’m just not up for seeing all those cute kids and families out having fun.
Enjoy! We never get trick or treaters so I have no excuse to buy candy! This yr we are going to my in-laws I told them we could hand out the candy if they both wanted to take my niece out trick or treating. Weird how I did that,, hmm?
This yr I feel okay with the holiday which makes me feel anxious that I am okay. Like I am living in a fog or disrespecting my babies.
Also I started a new job at a public school, I am amazed at how fast I offered up the information we have no kids, almost like I was hoping I could avoid that line of questioning. I only hinted to one person that not having kids wasn’t exactly my plan. There are 2 pregnant teachers at the school and I know there will be showers and upcoming events but I’m taking it day by day
Don’t be anxious. Be proud that you are coping with the holiday this year. You are not disrespecting your babies, you are honouring them by living well. I wrote about that on the My Story section of my blog, as I know those anxious/guilty feelings well. http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.co.nz/p/my-story.html
I bought a huge bag of candy and then the thought of giving it to other people’s children just made me too sad. I’m eating the candy myself and watching a good noir flick, with the porch lights off of course.
I’m lucky to be working late so my husband will deal with all the trick or treaters. We get a ton in our neighborhood (we purposely bought in a great school district thinking we’d have a few kids). He doesn’t mind it and actual thinks it’s fun to hand out candy.
I actually really enjoy Halloween and can’t wait to give out candy. Since I don’t have kids it’s my chance to see all the cuteness. And come on it’s win win, you get to see all the adorable little costumes and don’t have to deal with their whiny sugar crash later.
I mostly just grin and bear it. I already bought too much candy and don’t want to eat it all. The good thing is that trick-or- treaters just come and go quickly and it’s only one day.
i know i’m a few days behind, but i need to vent…. i planned out a “secy halloween” with my husband tonight to try and take away some of the sadness. a cute little outfit, i made sangria, cute little napkins, i made chocolate covered strawberries… trying to make tonight fun by doing something i couldn’t do if i had children….. i’m trying….. – and at work there was yet another pregnancy announcement today. and i feel like all the planning i have been doing is all gone in the blink of an eye because of someone else’s joy.- the joy i will never know. next year she will be dressing her baby in a halloween costume- i will never do that, and i’m just sad. infertility crushes all holidays.
I guess I need to vent, too. I’d been doing okay lately, not great, but okay. I never hand out candy, so my plan, like some of you, was to go home after work and turn off the porch light… Today, I stepped out of my office for a few moments and ran in to colleague at the water cooler. She had her beautiful daughter all dressed up for Halloween–right here in the office. I commented on how cute she looked and was sucked in my her smile and enthusiastic exploration. Then, as I walked back to my office, my felt that familiar emptiness. In the past year we’ve had new staff members join our office and have someone else pregnant now. While happy for them, I dread the many endless conversations, pictures and cute kids popping up in the office. It sounds so grouchy, but these things can have such an impact on my day and my mood.
I am new to this site but so glad I found it. After an exceptionally difficult day at the memorial of my sister in law. I was caught off guard and unprepared to deal with questions from the nagging aunts and older women of when am I am I going to have a baby, and then the biological clock statement follows shortly thereafter. I came online looking for advice on how to handle these situations. It is shocking to me that they are still saying these things to me after no baby for 3 years. Shouldn’t they know better? Sorry if i’m whining on a Saturday. Glad I found this site though 🙂
Hi Tracie,
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. Not only inappropriate questions, but totally inappropriate timing too! I’m glad you found us. Whines are permitted pretty much any day of the week. 🙂
~Lisa