Over the past couple of years I’ve been “enjoying” a journey into menopause. Yeah, it’s a hoot. All the symptoms of PMS, plus fuzzy head, weight gain, night sweats, the works.
I’ve been prescribed HRT and I’ve been reaching out to older friends for advice, because there’s a lot about this I don’t know. Most of my friends have gladly offered support, however one woman (a friend of a friend) looked at me and said, “Menopause? You’re too young for that.”
I assured her I was not, and left the conversation, but really, is that a helpful thing to say? Yes, I know I’m too young for menopause. Add it to the list of things my body’s given up before its time. And then ask me how I feel about the possibility the rest of me might be aging faster than it should too. Does this ever end?
As you may have guessed, it’s Whiny Wednesday. I feel better for my venting. Hope you feel better for yours.
My aunt was 42 and was post menopause then. I am 39 and I’m not sure if my hormones are shifting through perimenopause or if its stress as the last few months have been hectic or maybe a bit of both.
My best friend even had her OBGYN say she was too young to be peri-menopausal. There is truly no hope when even physicians don’t know anything.
From everything I have read, peri-menopause, the period before actual menopause, can last up to 10 years and may begin anytime after 35. So if the average age of menopause is 51, and peri-menopause is a 10 year process, if you are over 40 and experiencing symptoms, it’s a pretty damn good bet you are peri-menopausal.
For women who have not had a hysterectomy, menopause is literally but a moment. It is the moment when it has been one full year since a last period. After that moment, you are technically post-menopausal.
I am 43 years old and in the early years of peri-menopause. Honestly, my peri-menopausal symptoms at least feel normal for someone my age. I am finally at an age when I feel like a normal woman again, because friends (even the mommy set) are beginning to share more and more about peri-menopausal symptoms that we are all experiencing. I guess at least in this, my body is doing what it is supposed to.
BTW – I highly recommend the book “A Strange Period: Insights into the Bizarre Experiences of Peri-menopausal Women”. It does have some references to having kids and past pregnancies, but also includes women who have not had children. Reading about everyone else’s wild and crazy symptoms made me feel more normal. Many of my friends have also read the book and found it helpful.
Great comment! I totality agree. Another book I – “You’re still hot to me” is by Australian comedienne Jean Kitson, and gives some Info and a lot of laughs. I think we need lots of laughs and “me too!” moments.
Oops – predictive text turned “totally” into “totality.”
And I’m feeling especially old today because I had my second cataract surgery yesterday and I always thought that was for people in their 60s. Once again I feel my body has aged faster than others my age. No matter how well I have cared for, and still care for my healthy, I think I have aged for faster than my counterpoints.
The infertility doctor told me at my exam, 39 years old, that my tests were just outside of the “normal” range. You can expect early menopause. Really? I was 1-2 numbers outside normal and you have set me up to be doomed. Have no worries, we will take your money and give you hope for IVF….but no, we won’t take care of you……..
My mother entered menopause when 42. I am 42 now and first strange symptoms have already begun. It sucks. Yes, I am too young for that!
Susan and Mali: thanks for book recommendation.
My menopause symptoms started with my infertility diagnosis…at age 33. So, yeah, I’m too young, even according to my GYN. I laughed when, three days after telling her I was in early symptoms (and she told me I probably had PCOS), she called and said, “Your hormone levels indicate early menopause.” I’m 36 now, and have figured out that acupuncture helps a TON. I hardly have hot flashes now.
It’s Saturday but I’m reaching out because I need strength and support today as I prepare for a double baby shower. Its for two friends I’ve known for 15 years, who don’t know what I’m struggling with the possibility of not having children, and therefore no reasonable excuse not to go. To add insult to injury, among the attendees will be two more pregnant people. Bracing myself for two hours of slapping on a smile and trying to appear happy for my dear friends who are celebrating something I want so badly.
If all going to the baby shower will do is upset you and make you feel like you are missing out then don’t go. Just say you ate something dodgy so have stomach flu and cant go at the last minute as no one will question that. If they are proper friends they will understand.